Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Nancy Pelosi And The Student Lending Scam

"It's not often that House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi camps under the GOP tent, but that's just what happened recently when she broke ranks with Bay Area Democrats and the Obama administration and voted to keep billions of dollars in federal student aid flowing into the coffers of for-profit colleges.

She had her reasons. Some of the biggest recipients of the $32 billion in federal student loans and Pell Grants each year paid to for-profits are in her district - including major Democratic donor John Sperling, founder of the online University of Phoenix, the nation's largest for-profit college.

The issue arose after Education Secretary Arne Duncan proposed a rule that would stiffen federal aid requirements for for-profits, making them provide stats showing that their students actually are getting the jobs they trained for."


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Graveyard of Dreams: De Novo's "Night Shift"

De Novo sent this email out yesterday afternoon. $30 flat to start work the same day and pull a mandatory "all nighter."

If you are interested in the below project, please answer all questions following the job description. Feel free to forward to anyone you think may be interested. Must be bar admitted somewhere in the US.

Start date: Tonight, 3/15 at 6pm or 7pm (tba)for training. Case room is open tonight 6pm or 7pm-8am. MUST WORK 4 HOURS AT LEAST TONIGHT.
Rate: $30 flat (no ot or time and ½ for ot)
Hours: 10-12 hrs/day
Case room hours: Mon-Sun, 9pm-8am
Location: De Novo 555 Madison, 3rd fl
Breaks: 30 min mandatory
Approximate Duration: 3/15-3/21

The stampede of coders wrangling for this gig rivaled the Japanese earthquake's Richter-scale readings. Within minutes of this broadcast email, 80% of NYC's broadband bandwidth was swamped with hordes of coders frantically pressing the "send" button, racing to get their attached resumes across the finish line first. Skyscrapers began to gently shake as the stampede gathered momentum, with some coders even donning their suits in phone booths Superman style, breaking land speed records as they gang-rushed De Novo's midtown offices. "It's a bird...it's a plane....no, it's a CODER!"

This is what it's come to, kids. "Down the road," as they say in the big house. Four years of college, the LSAT, 3 years of law school, the late nights studying until your eyes bleed, 100 K plus in loans, the bar'zam, the dues, the CLE shakedowns: all to beg for a graveyard shift gig at a whopping $30 an hour, sans OT. Trying to pay down loans at this rate is akin to using a Folgers can to bail out the Titanic: you'll drown long before the bilge is emptied.

Rumor has it that 50 desperate suit-clad souls spent last night clicking away, all too happy to swallow their pride like a cocktail of Drano
and click those docs until their eyes wept blood. We can't imagine the depths of desperation one must be in to volunteer for such a pathetic endeavor. Sadder still is that, in all likelihood, hundreds (or thousands?) of schmucks probably cried themselves to sleep last night because they didn't make the cut for this gig.

This is a watershed moment, kids. How much more mistreatment, degradation, and abuse are you "lawyers" willing to endure? In the immortal words of Dante from the film Clerks, we ask De Novo: "What's your encore? Do you anally rape my mother while puring sugar in my gas tank?"

Quite funny too how this gig began only hours after the spiffy new 2011 US News rankings came out, the lemmings going ga-ga that their toilet of choice is now ranked 159th instead of 167st, the nascent "prestige" flowing like heroin into a junkie's bicep.

Ah Bartleby! Ah humanity!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Columbia Law School PR Machine Kicks Into Attack Mode

Reeling from a recent New York Times article in which law schools were exposed for cooking the books and turning their graduates into lifetime indentured debt slaves, many of whom wind up in cockroach infested document review facilities (something we have discussing here for over five years), the overcompensated, pampered shills in the law school administration offices have finally gone into attack mode.

Columbia (via a paid schill named Steven Gosset, who has been harassing bloggers ever since the story was released) claims that Jason Bohn, a temporary document monkey who was featured in the article, received his Juris Doctor from University of Florida and not from Columbia. Never mind the fact that he indebted himself with two degrees from Columbia to the tune of $200,000. Because of Columbia, at current rates, which continue to drop precipitously due to the American Bar Association's recent decision to allow entry-level legal work to be outsourced to India, Mr. Bohn will have to work 600 hours a year in the cockroach dungeon (or even worse with that nutcase "Jolly" John Thacher), every year for the next 30 years, just to pay off his loans. Outside of those 600 hours, Mr. Bohn will somehow need to find the time necessary to dig up another full time job so that he can gain legal experience, pay rent, buy health insurance, and save for retirement. Frankly, if I were in Mr. Bohn's shoes, I would seriously consider booking a one way plane ticket to southeast Asia, or in the alternative, heading over to Home Depot tonight, purchasing some rubber tube and adhesive tape, and putting the garage door down.

Paid schill Gosset in his exhortations seems to imply that such a catastrophic situation would never befall a properly credentialed Columbia Law School graduate. T14 grads drudging away in basements in a temporary capacity for $33 an hour is sadly, no longer an uncommon sight. God help those now who are currently graduating from lower ranked schools.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

"Jolly" John Thacher Makes A Cameo

"The job is set up through a company called Peak Discovery, which put an ad on Craigslist, seeking 100 lawyers. 'We got about 300 responses overnight,' said John Thacher, who is managing the project.

Mr. Thacher has managed about 2,500 people in his six years in the temporary legal business, and maybe five of them have gone on to associate jobs in law firms, the kind of work that nearly everyone aspires to when entering law school.

“Most of us either went to the wrong law school, which is the bottom two-thirds, or we were too old when we graduated,” he said. 'I was 32 when I graduated, and at 32 you’re washed up in this field, in terms of a shot at the real deal. They perceived me as somebody they can’t indoctrinate into slave labor and work to death for seven years and then release if they don’t like you.”'"


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Labaton Sucharow - The $403 An Hour Temps

"Dear Tom,

There was a hearing on Monday November 15, 2010 before a federal judge regarding the payment of attorney fees to Labaton Sucharow in the infamous Countrywide project. Please see the article below regarding Labatoilet's use of 119 'short-term attorneys,' better known as temps. We worked directly for this sheister in sweatshop conditions for a measly $32 an hour, with no time and a half and no medical or any kind of regular employee benefits. Now, Labatoilet apparently expects Judge Pfaelzer to approve paying them $403 per hour for our document review services. And of course Labatoilet gets a paid opinion from some bozo mediator named Diamond that states it is 'an extremely reasonable rate.' Well, it does not seem reasonable to me that you pay somebody $32 an hour and then turn around and charge $403 for that person's work. I wonder if the NYS pension funds and Judge Pfaelzer consider this a fair margin of profit.

If you think this is egregious billing and wish to make your feelings known, here is the contact information for the judge: According to the court's website, The best way to contact the judge's courtroom deputy clerk is by calling 213-894-5286; if the clerk does not answer the phone, be sure to leave a voice-mail message.

Hon. Mariana R. Pfaelzer
Court Clerk: Cynthia Salyer
Al Courtroom No.: 12
Telephone: 213-894-5286"


Thursday, November 11, 2010

"Clutch Legal" Sleazy Outsourcing Outfit Cancels Another Project

Watch out for these guys. Projects fall through with them ALL the time. Their modus operandi seems to be that they set up sweatshops in India and have American contract attorneys serve as "back ups" in the initial set up stage. Smart solutions, no borders, indeed.

"It is with great disappointment and sincere apologies that I report to you that the Greenberg Taurig project is canceled. The case just settled this evening.

I am truly sorry for all the chaos and frustration surrounding this project. I had no idea the client was in settlement talks, so this is as much a surprise to me as it must be to you.

Thank you in advance for your understanding. My colleague Suzanne and I think very highly of you all, and I will make sure to keep you in mind and posted on all future assignments.

Please confirm you have received this email."

Friday, October 29, 2010

17 Hour Workdays

From the Clutch Group. Smart solutions. No borders.

"We are looking to staff an HOUR INTENSIVE document review project starting IMMEDIATELY! Interviews will start today!

Must be able to interview with our client in Midtown today. Further, the hours will be intensive! We are looking at a 17 hour per day schedule, from 7:00am to 12:00am (midnight) for ten days straight. This may change, but if you are interested in this project YOU MUST confirm that you can work these hours. Interviews will be held today, and the client may even need you to begin work immediately after. Thus, you must be able to begin work immediately and the 7am-12am schedule will probably begin Saturday (you will need to work straight through the weekend into next week)."

Make it through the project without going into cardiac arrest or being carried off into the insane asylum, and you might very well be the grand prize winner who is able to ward off the foreclosure/eviction Grim Reaper for another month or two. Don't forget, the Republicans will not authorize unemployment extensions starting November 30th. Happy Holidays, in advance!

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Document Review To $12 An Hour

Job Description Classification:
Contract Legal Professionals
Compensation: $12.00 to $18.00 per hour

Entry level licensed attorneys needed for document review projects. Prior document review experience is now required. Great training opportunity! Please send your resume to [Click Here to Email Your Resumé].

Located in major markets throughout North America, Robert Half Legal is the premier provider of legal professionals on a full-time, project and temporary basis to law firms and corporate legal departments. We offer our candidates challenging assignments, competitive compensation and benefits, and skills-enhancement training. Robert Half Legal is better at finding you challenging new career opportunities because we come from the legal industry ourselves, with a majority of our staffing executives holding JDs or other legal credentials. Additionally, FORTUNE® magazine again ranked us #1 in our industry on the list of "World's Most Admired Companies" (FORTUNE, March 22, 2010). Call your local Robert Half Legal office at 1.800.870.8367 to discover more about this position.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Hudson Legal "Environmental Law" Project

This project is being staffed by three agencies: Hudson, EP Dine and Epiq. The person who runs the review is the same woman who ran the infamous Hormonal Replacement Therapy review many years ago on East 45th Street for the firm out of Newark that does work with breast cancer and asbestos. Her name is Laura Kibby. Loud, arrogant and extremely fake.

You are paid a flat rate, you worked set hours but have the flexibility of coming in between a window, there is an elaborate conflicts form, they conduct interviews--they prefer environmental lawyers! The team leaders watch everyone, you are not allowed to bring your cell phone, especially ones with cameras---there are no notes allowed, and no books, bags nor purses. You must leave stuff in a holding area--holding pen.

There is no internet access, yet there is an obsolete cafe with old IBM computers. You are also monitor if you get up too much to go to the bathroom.

If you do well you become a permanent employee for Epiq---there are tons of ass kissers on this project.

Are you ready to give up your phone for a year?

Are you ready to be treated like a 7 year old?

Are you ready to be incommunicado during business hours and while your children are in school?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Tower Legal Staffing, Inc

"This is your new home, Rapunzel. I will come every day and visit. It is better if you were away from the city and this is the place I have chosen. Years passed and the child grew -- if they could have seen her. But, locked in her tower deep in the woods, no one saw her."

Tower is a true sweatshop especially if you work out of their premises, right next to Trinity cementery---inadequate bathrooms, crammed review rooms, unfriendly or contemptuous staffers with the exception of one--who is very professional. One has to input the time sheet at a common computer so someone can see your information, the internet area is right in the waiting room/reception.

I heard that if you sit next to recruiter's office they do not want to hear chatter.

Ask people to give a fall report of agencies with a countdown--today we start with Tower!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

My Favorite "Scam Blogger"

"The real problem may be that Kevin Costner was proven correct in 'Field of Dreams.' If you build it they will indeed come. But they came and only found cornfields." - Jerome Kowalksi

When you mention the word "scam blogger" what comes to mind? For most people, it's undoubtedly the image of a young, disgruntled, heavily indebted recent graduate. A self-professed "scam blogger" by the name of Jerome Kowalski recently came across my radar, however. Contrary to being young, disgruntled, and/or unemployed, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Mr. Kowalski was actually an older, successful, and seasoned practitioner. His most recent article, "What If They Built A Law School And Nobody Came?" is the most pointed, well-researched, and damning expose of the law school scam that I have ever come across. I invite you to peruse it here:


Frankly, I think the "law school scam busting movement" could benefit a bit more from the maturity, credibility, and guidance of older practitioners. Too often, the criminal cartel law school deans (and their enablers in the ABA) try to brush off legitimate criticisms of their corrupt practices, as the handiwork of a small group of young, rogue, discontented graduates. Clearly, "scam blogging" by reputable/ more established members of the profession can only help shatter this gross mischaracterization. Speaking out isn't necessarily easy, however. As Kowalski notes, there is a certain institutional, self-imposed "wall of silence" against speaking out:

"These conclusions are not mine alone. At least four law firm managing partners, a number of other prominent lawyers and several law school professors have shared these conclusions with me. However, they openly expressed fear about making public statements supporting these obvious conclusions because they all felt they would be seen as pariahs, shunned by the profession, insofar as the practicing lawyers were concerned, they expressed the fear that their firms’ recruiting activities would be hampered at important schools; the academics also expressed the concern of being shunned by their colleagues, since, in effect, they would be encouraging significant unemployment among the academic community."

Monday, September 13, 2010

Steven Zack Takes Over The Reins At The ABA

Stephen Zack's four main initiatives for his royal reign will be to preserve the justice system (whatever that means), civic education (provide more funding to the American Federation of Teachers), hispanic legal rights (amnesty), and disaster preparedness (close gitmo). Clearly, Mr. Zack wants to use his position to brandish political credentials and gain influence in Democratic circles.

As for the issues of regulating the profession, accrediting law schools, exploding debt, ABA schools that blatantly falsify marketing statistics, former biglaw associates scrubbing toilets, and corrupt deans channeling money through and sitting on the boards of directors of non-for-profit (in name only) lending institutions, he is notably silent.

When it comes to the issue of outsourcing entry-level legal work to the Indian subcontinent however, Zack is a little more proactive:

In remarks to the commission, ABA President-Elect Stephen Zack said that although he is "agnostic" on the issue of outsourcing, he recognizes that the lack of an official ABA position on the subject is a real problem. An opinion on outsourcing issued by the Standing Committee on Ethics and Professional Responsibility, ABA Formal Ethics Op. 08-451 (2008), has been taken by others as a formal ABA endorsement, he noted. . . . . The ABA House of Delegates needs an opportunity to consider outsourcing, he said.

Jaime Gorelick said that the commission's work on outsourcing will be put out for public comment, so that by the time the report comes before the delegates at the 2011midyear meeting it will be "fully vetted."


Jaime Gorelick remember, is that horrible bank lobbying creature that took slush money from Sallie Mae and unsuccessfully tried to kill off the student loan reform bill last year. She also took $26.4 million away from Fannie Mae, money which was later found by federal regulators to have been given out because management manipulated earnings. Talk about ethics!


Make no doubt it, for however "agnostic" Mr. Hack pretends to be, the ABA will indeed put their full seal of approval on Indian outsourcing later next year. Thanksgiving dinner will be served up early next year and the turkeys will be you and me!

The Autumn Of Discontent

I hope TTT writes about the new payment model being used by all of the agencies:
rates are low.
- OT is rare and starts at 40 not 35.
- More of flat rates.
- No osha guidelines whatsoever---inoperable bathrooms, non-ergomanic chairs, locked fire exits.
- Some places do not even provide air since client will not pay for it.
- Others do not even provide drinking water which is required by law.
- A posting with links of agencies and how to report hazardous environs needs to be published.


Helene Diamond's ridiculous questionnaire. Don't buy into the b.s. They are only interested in your response to question #8. As the overworn cliche goes, you can apply Mascara and pile on 20 layers of make-up to a pig, but it is still just a pig. No matter how you cut it, providing a representation as to an estimated rate of review of documents without actually seeing or handling the documents is clearly unethical.


1) What types of issues have you looked for in the course of your reviews? Forensic accounting, FCPA, patent, pharma reviews/technical issues, FDA regulatory issues, financial issues
a) Are you usually looking at one particular issue or several?
b) Are they discrete or complex?

2) What is the extent of discretion you have used in reviewing the documents?
a) Is the review essentially objective or subjective in nature?
b) Is the decision regarding whether the issue is implicated clear on the face of the document or does it require thoughtful consideration?

3) In what types of cases have you been involved?
a) Are they criminal or civil?
b) What has been the nature of the civil cases, i.e claim disputes, patent issues, securities issues, pharmaceutical matters, class actions?
c) Are they on the plaintiff’s side or defense?

4) What has been the purpose of the reviews?

5) What types of electronic platforms or systems have you used?

6) What other functions have you done in the databases, i.e. running searches?

7) What is the range in size of the reviews, i.e. how many documents in total?

8) What is the rate of review, i.e. how many documents can you review in one day on average?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Election Volunteers

TTT, I'm wondering if you'd be interested in posting this volunteer opportunity for Tuesday. Part of the reason we still have white collar sweatshops in NY is because of corruption in Democratic primaries in NYC. If we have legal monitors this coming Tuesday, it can mean a difference of thousands of votes, which is basically an election.

Volunteer for Election Protection: Be a Legal Monitor on Sept. 14

What: Attorneys and law students are needed to be legal monitors at poll sites to protect voters rights on a crucial election day in New York City. In most past elections, there have been significant complaints about problems at the polls in certain areas, problems that have led to voters being disenfranchised.

Where: In the Bronx and other areas throughout New York City.

When: On Tuesday Sept. 14th, lawyers are needed all day from the opening of the polls at 6am to the closing at 9pm.

Who: We are in need of licensed attorneys (in NY and other jurisdictions, including international) and law students. You will not be working on behalf of any candidate; you will be working to ensure that the system operates in a manner that is fair to all candidates.

Why: To protect the rights of voters. To gain training in election law. To meet key people involved in election protection and grassroots activism in New York City. To ensure the system works as it should and that people are not unfairly turned away from the polls. To have fun!

Contact: electionprotectiondrive@gmail.com

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Has Helene Diamond Lost Her Mind?

"We have an immediate need for admitted document review attorneys - we have a document review project in our offices (25 West 31st Street, NY, NY 10001) starting on MONDAY, September 13th @ 900am.

Rate: The pay rate is based on an incentivized pay structure. You will receive a base pay rate of $25/hr, and at the end of the project you will receive a bonus check based on group performance and productivity."

Are you serious, lady? $25/hr is insulting enough, but to base pay upon "group performance and productivity" is downright laughable. Last time I worked for you, I was promised a "professional" working environment, but while you sat on your duff in your cushy office, I was shoved into an unventilated broom closet with an angry bipolar girl off her meds, an inappropriate sexual deviant, and a sweet talking con artist who skimmed along without doing any work. The way it works is this: I code the documents, you place and are responsible for the quality and work ethic of the candidates. Don't penalize me for your incompetence in having to find quality candidates with your insulting, bottom feeding slum rate.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Congress Finally Cracking Down On Foreign Medical School TTT's

This is very encouraging news. Expect a long drawn out lobbying fight from the Caribbean scammers. It's only a matter of time before the corrupt law school TTT's find themselves in the regulatory crosshairs. The fat cat administrators are padding their pensions and plotting their exit strategies as we speak.

"The federal government, through the Federal Family Education Loan program administered by the Education Department, loaned U.S. students enrolled at foreign free-standing medical schools $1.5 billion between 1998 and 2008, according to the report.

Although that amount represents less than 1 percent of all federal student loans made during the same period, borrowing has grown by more than 300 percent because of increases in tuition, student enrollments and the availability of other loan funds.

Foreign medical schools that participate in the loan program have to meet certain statutory requirements. One requirement has been that 60 percent of their students who take the USMLE must pass the test. Beginning last month, however, Congress increased that must-pass percentage to 75 percent of students.

According to the report, the Education Department has not been able to fully enforce the institutional pass rate requirement on foreign medical schools. One reason is that private organizations that administer each step of the exam have refused to release student scores on grounds that the information is proprietary.

Stall, stall, stall..... Obfuscate, obfuscate, obfuscate........ Pad those pensions.


Friday, August 06, 2010

Hunger Strike!

Release: Unemployed J.D. Begins Hunger Strike to Support Law School Transparency

On August 5, 2010, Ethan Haines, self-designated J.D. Class Representative, emailed an Official Notice of Hunger Strike to administrators of ten randomly selected law schools ranked in the Top 100 of the 2010 U.S. News & World Report's annual rankings. These schools were selected because they stand to gain the most from keeping the current rankings structure in place.

Below is a partial listing of recipients of the Official Notice of Hunger Strike:

1. University of Pennsylvania Law School (Philadelphia, PA)
2. Fordham University School of Law (New York, NY)
3. William S. Richardson School of Law, University of Hawaii at Manoa (Honolulu, HI)
4. Florida State University College of Law (Tallahassee, FL)
5. American University Washington College of Law (DC)

The Notice sets forth two conditions that administrators can satisfy to end Ethan's hunger strike. One condition is to provide written confirmation of their intent to cooperate with the Law School Transparency (LST) organization's information request regarding employment statistics. Ethan is not affiliated with LST, but is an avid supporter of the cause and intends to forward the compliance statements to the organization.

The remaining five law schools will be announced Friday, August 6, on the blog http://www.unemployedJD.com. A Twitter petition http://twitition.com/wqtfs is also circulating the internet in support of the cause.

Feel free to contact Ethan Haines for additional information.

Ethan Haines
J.D. Class Representative

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Excelerate Discovery

Excelerate Discovery, the current nesting place of several former Update Legal recruiter hacks, apparently had a bit of a shake up last week. Alexandra "Lexie" Newman was reportedly shit-canned during her Israeli vacation, and apparently went ballistic on Facebook. Just another day of backstabbing and juvenility in the distguished profession of law.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Joan Wexler Of Crooklyn Law School


I am highlighting Joan Wexler and her in$TTiTTuTTion this week on my blog. I was tipped to this PDF by a commenter on my site. Here is Brooklyn Law School's IRS Tax Form 990, i.e. Return of Organization Exempt from Income Tax, for 2007.


Go to page 18 of Crooklyn's IRS Form 990 to see Joan Wexler's salary and compensation for 2007.

As a dean who devoted 50 hours per week to her position, Joan G. Wexler took home $529,293 in salary; $40,146 in contributions to employee benefit plans & deferred compensation plans; and $50,580 in expense account and other allowances. This brings her TOTAL COMPENSATION for 2007 to $620,019.

Look at line 12 on page 1. The sewer of law took in $69,029,620 in total revenue that year. After total expenses, the "non-profit" school made a nice gain of $9,052,403 this year. On line 21, we can see that Crooklyn had $143,063,841 in total net assets. Line 59 shows the school had $244,
710,030 in total assets.

This lady and her institution have consigned LEGIONS of lawyers to a lifetime of debt servitude, anxiety and doc review hell. Tom, please provide the link to the IRS form, so your readers can see the figures for themselves. Thank you.



Another great find by Nando. There are legions of underemployed document reviewers slaving away in unventilated basements, so that morally bankrupt individuals like Joan Wexler can continue pulling down half a mil a year by scamming unsuspecting college graduates with all those "inadvertent" errors to US News. The woman is a sham/con artist and she needs to be carted away and locked up before she destroys anymore young lives.

Saturday, July 24, 2010


"Tom the Temp,

Just so you know, De Novo is still an awful place to work. From what I hear, Evelyn and Mr. Singer are still using mind tricks to control and exploit their slaves. They are driving down the rates close to the twenty dollar range and stuffing all the extra money into their pockets. Anyone who objects, or in anyway displays a 'negative attitude' is immediately blacklisted. It's bait and switch central. She acts all sweet and tries to put the blame on the client for being the bad guy, but everyone knows she is full of crap. Evelyn is constantly lying about the terms and conditions of the projects, and anyone who objects is immediately put on the shit list. It's simply not right. It makes me sick to think that during this economic calamity De Novo and all these record profiteering law firms are using their extraordinary market power to exploit and terrorize everyday Americans who are just trying to survive and put food on the table. I'd rather live in welfare housing than put up with the deceitful shenanigans of these unethical business people."

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Minneapolis, Where Recent JD's Work For Dirt Cheap And Scrounge Through Garbage Cans

"Need document review done? Come to Minneapolis!

We offer: plenty of attorneys that are hungry with student loans.
We have four law schools pumping out attorneys faster than BP can spill oil
Employment-at-will statutes
Overtime starting at 48 hours vs 40 hours. (In other words, you'll never need to pay it)!
Firms from anywhere in the country can fly a partner in and out in the same day for a quick training.
Low wages, one major employer pays attorneys $17/hour with no benefits."

Friday, July 09, 2010

Overbilling In Los Angeles

"Hey Tom The Temp,

Big fan of your blog! Keeping it real, man, keeping it real.

Here's one more crappy story for the Wall of Shame. Probably not the worst, by far, but I think it kind of stinks.

So I was working on an easy little project at a big Los Angeles firm. Some kind of breach of contract nonsense, really easy. Within a week, I finish two batches adding up to about 1700 documents. No big deal, right? Actually kind of a slow pace for many of the projects in L.A.

Without much warning, the project leader (another temp) gets ticked off at me. Because her friends on this deal, who came with her from a prior project, hadn't finished even their first batch, and that looked bad. Makes little sense to me, either, actually, since I would be hard-pressed to match names with faces . . . never saw much of those folks, or really cared anything about them way down at their end of the hallway.

Guess who gets let go?

LOL, apparently working up to spec at a marginally competent level gets you fired these days.

What makes it ironic is that I thought I was the lazy one . . . I mean, we're talking about assignments that had nothing but junk e-mail and review criteria along the lines of "Is it a contract? Mark it with the "contract" tag. The end." And they were handing out massive unplanned break time, every day, for computer crashes and all sorts of administrative what-have-you."

Yes, unfortunately this is all too common. Sadly, certain temporary attorneys blatantly overbill and milk the projects for all they are worth. Certain attorneys even steal hours by knowingly not working for the times they jot down. The agencies & firms know this. Sadly, quality and professionalism often times take a back seat to cheap/incompetent labor, profitability, and wide partner billing margins. Stay away from dehumanizing billing machines that skirt around the fringes of legal ethics by hiding under the banner of elite law firm name.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Labaton Sucharow Sweatshop Sued For Failing To Pay Overtime

"A lawyer is suing his former New York-based employer, alleging that the law firm violated federal labor laws by not paying time-and-a-half for overtime.

In a complaint filed Wednesday in federal court in Manhattan, the lawyer, Moshe Koplowitz, said that the firm he did temporary work for, Labaton Sucharow, did not pay him at a higher rate when he worked more than 40 hours in a week. . .

'People are afraid to bring these kinds of cases because they don’t want to be blacklisted,' Mr. Kirschenbaum said. 'I would hope people use this as a wake-up call to get the money that’s clearly owed to them.'"


Thursday, July 01, 2010

Carolyn Lamm's Political Pet Projects

It has been over 154 days since Carolyn Lamm and the ABA said they would "look into" the massive fraud being perpetuated upon the public by out of control tuition gouging, federal student loan abusing esteemed "institutions" of higher learning. Despite the exclusive authority granted to it by the Department of Education to oversee and regulate the law schools, the ABA thinks of itself more as a special interest lobbying organization for hot button left wing political issues.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Sullivan & Cromwell Insane Asylum

"Now I know everyone has a favorite nick name for Albanian the Anus: ladka, Balki, wild & crazy guy, but as a member of the ESL (English as a Second Language) set he is part of the inner-sanctum at Sullivan & Cromwell. So much so that a 10k phone bill Ennus racked up in the United Kingdom to call the US to bore and confuse his coworkers or exchange animal husbandry tips with his close relatives was hidden by Pary Garchment. But what Gary could not cover up was his rank incompetence in which he lost....irretrievably terrabytes of BP documentation. Apparently they sent MF like Martin sheen in appocalypse now to relieve him of his command.

Point of order stop calling the ladies of S&C "Big Mama" it is quasi racist and not specific enough since S&C likes its underlings fat, female & affirmitive action. Next week I will tell you about either: Cokie Lopez the addicted associate, the porny paralegal & the stairwell vidoetape that Fave Digaro tried really hard not to see."

Take Advantage Of The Unemployed Week

As Congress plays games and twists itself into political gridlock, millions of Americans are losing their unemployment benefits. Coincidentally, just as benefits stalled last week, rates for several upcoming reviews plummeted. I am sure this is all just a normal function of the market and not just a carpetbagging opportunity for certain sleazy agency middlemen to stuff extra money in their pockets.

"Contracts Attorneys Needed ASAP

Date: 2010-06-28, 6:17PM EDT
Reply to: job-ytcgp-1816081049@craigslist.org

Fortune 500 Company is seeking several contract attorneys for a review starting this Wednesday!

We are seeking licensed attorneys who can commit to at least 10 hours a day and who are available to work through this upcoming holiday weekend and all of next week.

If you are interested, please send your resume in WORD.

Compensation: $26/hr (flat rate)"

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Subprime Student Lending Bomb

The short-seller, Steve Eisman of FrontPoint Partners, is perhaps best known as being immortalized in Michael Lewis’ book, “The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine,” as having warned about the sub-prime mortgage mess when nobody cared. He is scheduled to testify today in front ot the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions.

Eisman has recently noted:

“Until recently, I thought that there would never again be an opportunity to be involved with an industry as socially destructive as the subprime mortgage industry. I was wrong. The for-profit education industry has proven equal to the task.”

With Title IV student loans, “the government, the students and the taxpayers bear all the risk and the for-profit industry reaps all of the rewards.”

“We have every expectation the industry’s default rates are about to explode.”


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Lord And A Million Serfs

"At the same time, law firms are instead expressing a “growing enthusiasm” for a staffing alternative—contract lawyers, according to an Altman Weil press release. Last year, 39 percent of the law firms used contract lawyers. This year, 53 percent will or might do so, while 52 percent expect that contract lawyers will become a permanent part of their staffing plans."

And the TTT schools love them, too! After bilking 40,000 kids out of $150,000, why not dump them onto your grubby biglaw partner friends who can exploit them in cockroach infested basements and not have to worry about contributing towards those pesky health/dental plan and 401K things? They will be so desperate to ward off Sallie Mae that they won't mind slaving away for 80 hours a week in unventilated, superheated basements. Meanwhile, you can share in the loot with your skeletor Joan Wexler look-a-likes and enjoy obscene, record profits and jacked up tuitions in the worst economy since the Great Depression.


Monday, June 21, 2010

Toro! Ole! HireCounsel Deflates The Rate!


Hire Counsel is currently seeking candidates admitted in at least one US jurisdiction for a Spanish Language Project in Westfield, NJ. The project should interview next week and start shortly thereafter. It is a document review project which should run for 4 to 6 weeks, involve 40 hours per week (no overtime) and will pay $32.00 per hour. The rate is on the low end for foreign language work but our client is not requiring any prior document review experience, just fluency in Spanish and admission to at least one US Jurisdiction. For candidates seeking to obtain experience working on a document review project this may be a good opportunity to do so."

Friday, June 18, 2010


"TTT, I was just staffed on a project overseen by a cold blooded reptile. She would literally BLAST the AC like you wouldn't believe, and would constantly bitch to the maintenance men about how supposedly "warm" it was. Can anyone say early onset menopause? It's no fun standing at the bus stop in the sweltering early summer heat wrapped up like Nanook of the North in your winter coat. Thirty people are absolutely fucking miserable, but nobody has the courage to stand up and say anything. Market is so rotten, so-called professional admitted attorneys are afraid of rocking the boat and being blacklisted and frozen out of low rate $20 an hour temp gigs. We all rather spend our summer days hauled up in a windowless supply closet, cryogenically frozen like Walt Disney, praying that we don't come down with pneumonia lacking health insurance. We should all kill ourselves now."

Monday, June 14, 2010

Before Benefits Accrue, Staffing Agency Swiftly Kicks Your Butt To The Curb

"I have been a contract attorney in the SF Bay area for the past 4 years or so. In that time I have worked through approximately 6-7 staffing services. I have noticed that many of them tend to "lose my number" once I have been on project(s) for 4-5 months or so.

Most of these staffing services offer benefits like paid holidays and sick time, but only to workers who have worked over 1000 hours for them. (1000 hours is approximately 6 months of 40 hour weeks.) I have had agencies send me out on projects for a while, but once I get close to the 6 month mark, I suddenly become invisible and never find work through that agency again. Whether it's one longer project or cumulative shorter projects, once I get close to that 6 month mark, the agency never calls again and sends other workers out on projects. There is never any indication of trouble or dissatisfaction with the work I've done, the work just stops.

I don't doubt that staffing agencies would use workers for a pre-determined period of time (up to 4-5 months) and then find new workers to send out on projects so they don't get stuck paying pesky benefits to their workers just because they're legally obligated to do so. I'm just curious whether anybody else has had a similar experience in becoming invisible to staffing services once they approach the benefits date."

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Premier NYC TTT Law School Jacks Up The Tuition!

46K a year to attend the Brooklyn Law School Dump and Document Review Training Facility? Is the Dean Joan Wexler freakin out of her mind? For years we have called out this scoundrel and her ilk in the press for their blatant misrepresentation of post-graduate career statistics, and yet they still have the audacity to jack up tuition three times faster than inflation in one of the worst job markets and deflationary environments since the Great Depression. Pure unbridled arrogance and greed!

Monday, June 07, 2010

Georgetown Law Grad Arrives At Simpson Thacher Covered In Defecation

A van with "Georgetown Admissions" painted on the side was apparently last seen riding around McPherson Square canvassing for homeless.

"We haven't had a continuation of the awful people you can meet on projects recently, so I figure I'd send this gem along. I finished a project about 2 weeks ago and I had overheard a story about one of the coders not more than a few feet from me. Apparently this gentlemen came in one day with shit on his pants and his shoes. When he realized the awful stench of feces was coming from his person, he went right on and continued coding as if nothing was wrong. He eventually "tried" to go clean himself up (after he was coaxed and almost mocked into doing so, even by the project manager), but for the rest of the day he stayed soiled. Can you believe that some people wouldn't even have the decency to go buy another pair of pants or, God forbid, go home for the day so as to not subject others to his lack of cleanliness?"

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Lowenstein Sandler


Forewarn your readers about this dump! The recruiters are fishing around to staff another project here and will lie to your face about how great it is. They claim it is a short commute from NYC, but when you get here you will find yourself in a dangerous ghetto in the outskirt bowels of New Jersey. The guy that runs the place is a major league class act asshole. He brags about taking MBA seminars to make the place more "efficient" which means that there is no talking, cell phones, or internet. If you can't stand the misery or nausea that you develop after working at this dump after a week and decide to jump ship, the agency will blacklist you FOREVER! STAY AWAY, STAY FAR AWAY!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Elaine P. Dine - Different Name, Same Toilet Bowl

I am sure Elaine P. Dine was a very nice lady back in the day. The successors to her recruiting outfit however have done a very fine job in defecating all over her legacy these past 10 years. (Do a thread search to pull up some of the horror stories that have occurred over the years.) It seems like the "Elaine P. Dine" moniker has worn out its welcome however, and now the Dine sewer scrounging gang is operating under the more generic sounding name of US Legal Support. Be forewarned.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Contract Attorney Coordinator At Fitzpatrick Cella Not A Fan Of Your Comments

"I would appreciate it if you would remove any negative responses regarding me. If not, I will be taking legal action against you immediately. I can provide your my attorneys name and contact information, he asked me to contact you first and to kindly ask you to remove the two posts about me. Please contact me with any questions. Thank you for your anticipated cooperation."

Thursday, May 06, 2010

The Lexolution Chicken Coop Gets Another Visit From The Fire Marshal

I heard that Lexolution tried to put up to 60 or 80 contractors in their tiny space in DC on F St. If, you've seen the space then you'd understand how crazy it is. I wouldn't think that it could hold more that 35-40 at the most - and that would be pushing it. Attorneys were crowded in the hallways. The official company line is that Lexolution didn't have the "bandwidth" to accommodate the additional traffic. However, it is suspect. The day before the reviewers were told leave for the day the Fire Marshall showed up!

Let The Fools Die By Their Own Stupidity

"Thomas Reddy, a second-year student at Brooklyn Law School, hasn't landed a summer internship yet after sending resumes to more than 50 law firms. He is taking on about $70,000 of debt each year of the three-year program to earn his degree, but said he may be fortunate to make $80,000 a year in a lawyer job after graduating. 'That is less than what I was making before I went to law school,' he said."


Mr. Reddy, with all due respect, you are a complete and utter fool. There is no 80 grand a year job waiting for you, unless you aspire to work in some crowded, dank, overheated basement for 80 hours a week in a temporary capacity. You just made the BIGGEST mistake of your life, and you are about to make it worse by handing over another 70 grand to the snakes at BLS.

Monday, May 03, 2010

How Cheap Is Huron?

According to the New York Times, they are so cheap they billed one of their clients $2.36 for a pack of gum. The Huron Witch is not only evil, she is cheap as hell!

"No charges have been too big, or too small. The Huron Consulting Group, a management consultancy {bottom feeding outsourcing outfit} involved in Lehman, charged $2.54 for 'gum in airport.'"


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Boies Schiller To 40K!

I just got the most retarded phone call. Temp job out in Albany, "6 months" on the project although they claim they try to keep people on longer, doc review job with no upward movement at all, $40k a year. I'm assuming no benefits either obviously. I guess after 6 months they expect you to go onto unemployment or something. I think the girl on the phone knew how shitty all this sounded, she said "that's a lot for Albany" which I of course don't buy for a second.

They demand you start within 2 weeks of the "interview" (why interview for doc review?).

I don't even know how you'd find a place to even live in that quickly. I don't care how bad the legal market is, that is the worst thing I have ever heard. I forgot to check on hours, but I'm assuming it's at least the full 40 hour work week, if not more than that.

If you check their web page, they tout diversity and being a top law firm. Now I don't know, maybe it isn't this law firm doing the hiring, but I actually think it is, but regardless, if it's another firm placing, this firm should be angry to even be associated with that.

Please don't use my e-mail or name or anything, but I'd love to know what other people think about this. As bad as things are, this one takes the cake. If they manage to fill this, it's going to be people living in Albany with their parents, there is no way anybody in their right mind MOVES out there for something this pathetic and for a temp job. Talk about insulting.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Law School Transparency Project

"Instead of simply griping about the shortcoming of law school employment statistics, Patrick Lynch collaborated with fellow Vanderbilt law student Kyle McEntee to develop what they hope will become a new source of information for would-be law students. The two have founded a non-profit organization called Law School Transparency with the goal of compiling detailed employment and salary information from all ABA-accredited law schools."

Good luck with this guys. I am sure you will receive a deluge of cooperation, especially from the ABA and the lower tier law schools. Your attempt at system wide transparency through carefully reasoned law review articles is admirable, but when you mess with the income streams of the lower tier law schools (who owe their very survival to scamming young people with access to mountains of subprime educational debt), get ready to get thuggy with it. You are dealing with the trashy, dishonest, seedy salesmen personas of Massasar, Joan King, the Valvoline Dean and their ilk, not Learned Hand.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Clowns At The American Biglaw Association Are At It Again

As if profits per partner weren't high enough last year, it looks like the ABA is about to come out with another one of their award winning outsourcing decisions. To all you out of work lawyers scounging around in garbage cans looking for food, relief is certainly NOT on the way. Carolyn Lamm's kangaroo commission is seeking input before they rubber stamp another employment sapping "ethics" mandate.


The ABA Commission on Ethics 20/20 is studying the ethical and professional regulatory implications of legal process outsourcing in a domestic and international context. The Commission is reviewing the ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct, existing ethics opinions and other literature and studies about this topic. The Commission is also interested in gathering information about domestic and international legal process outsourcing from lawyers, law firms, clients and outsourcing providers, and developed the following questions to do so. We look forward to hearing from you. Please do not feel constrained to limit your responses to the information sought by these questions. We are interested in receiving whatever information you feel is relevant. Please e-mail your responses by May 7, 2010 to Senior Research Paralegal Natalia Vera at veran@staff.abanet.org"


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Working Professional Poor

The Offer:

I wanted to touch base with you and see if you’re available for an upcoming assignment. I have a client who is seeking 4 contract attorneys to work onsite in Bloomfield, New Jersey, starting next Monday, April 19th and I wanted to know if you’d be interested.

Here are the details:

Pay Rate: $22/hr – flat rate
Hours: 9am to 5pm (with 1 hour lunch break)
Location: Bloomfield, NJ
Expected Duration: 2 weeks

Please let me know if you are interested and I look forward to hearing from you!


The Response:


Sorry but that rate is rejected and, frankly speaking, downright offensive.Thats less than I pay my own paralegals, and even less than someone makes after graduating from Devry.

Low wages, a lack of hours, no benefits, ballooning tuition debts in one of the highest COL/taxed areas in the nation.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Ass Clown


Instead of constantly putting a hatchet to the firms and staffing agencies, why don't you focus instead on some of the psychoids, perverts, and malcontents that somehow get staffed on these projects and make life a living hell?

I am currently on a nice foreign language review gig that was generally going well up until today. Some ass clown (who was probably playing around on some illicit website) downloaded a virus onto the server and crashed the entire project's network system. How about before we hire someone we run their name through a sexual perversion watchlist? Not only did dozens of people lose out on an opportunity for hours today, but just wait until the client finds out about this. Just another wonderful day in the oh-so "distinguished" practice of law."

Monday, March 29, 2010


DiscoverReady was one of the few chop shops in town offering project work last week, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were inundated with 10,000 resumes. All this for a job that is expected to last less than two weeks, where your cell phone is confiscated at the sweatshop door, and where you are lucky to scrape by with 40 hours per week. Welcome to the new reality. Recently, the ABA sponsored a presentation discussing how outfits like DiscoverReady are the wave of the future:


As we have been saying for years, welcome to the Wal-Martization of the so called profession of law, where obscene partner profits and rock bottom freelancing rates are the rule of the day.

As Kaye Scholer partner James Blank is quoted as saying in the study,“you just don’t need the bodies and man hours to get answers anymore. E-Discovery tools have eliminated the need to have junior associates review boxes of documents, which is why you are seeing thousands [of] junior associates laid off.”

E-Discovery tools, Mr. Blank? By tools, are you referring to cheap offshore human labor? While Mr. Blank and the offshore discovery vendors bask under the green shade of the money tree (DiscoverReady's emblem is the money tree, by the way), American law graduates suffer through the autumn of despair, with sky high student loan debt and a lack of jobs.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Another Assault At LabaToilet?

Sounds like a great place to work:

"I quit labaton several weeks ago after I too was assaulted in front of several witnesses in the eating area and no one confronted/reported the asshole who hit me to anyone, including me because we were all afraid of losing our jobs, just as happened to other people recently. Keep in mind that I am a woman and my attacker is a male foreign educated attorney."

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Golden Gate School of Law - Your One-way Ticket To The Trailer Park

Someone posted this earlier today in the comments section, and I wanted to highlight it. Crappy law school (that should be padlocked) + stay on the couch spouse + student loans + two kids ='s eviction, misery, and a horrible life.


Sunday, March 21, 2010

Health Care Reform

On the floor of the House, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee told a story of a 32-year-old lawyer who went to an emergency room three times but was sent away with antibiotics, and eventually died. He probably had crappy agency health insurance.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Wilmer Cutler

Just when things were quieting down in crazy document review land, this nonsense pops up. Apparently, Michael Layman (staff attorney 007) solved the espionage crime of the century over at Wilmer Cutler when he caught an international super spy downloading sensitive corporate documents on to his custom made Inspector Gadget flash drive. Actually, the "spy" was nothing more than a dingbat contract attorney who was downloading his resume, most likely because he was bored out of his mind shuffling through millions of pages of irrelevant corporate dreck, and was doing everything in his power to get out of a toxic and degrading work environment where low level staffer douchebags try to score brownie points with superiors by cracking fanciful imagined international spy rings.


Friday, March 12, 2010

Dine Group Drops the "F-Bomb" On Contract Attorneys

The Dine Group is still up to their old tricks of fishing for rate information from attorneys and trying to lowball the competition. A friend also recently told me that she overheard one of the business managers of the company scream: "Fuck them! They are under contract for $25 and easily replaceable. We'll ghost them if necessary." I guess some of the foolish attorneys who signed on for that assignment spoke up after the fact only to be blacklisted. Blacklisted for $25/ hr? Really? So Sad!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Chicago to $10 an Hour!

RESEARCH ATTORNEY (4105 W. 26th St.) Date: 2010-03-08, 9:11AM job-ff5pp-1633948536@craigslist.org

Illinois licensed attorney with exceptional research and legal drafting skills needed to support attorney work in several areas of law, including immigration, bankruptcy, mortgage foreclosure and loan modification, family, criminal, among others. The position is full time -- 9am to 6pm, Monday through Friday, and requires a natural talent for writing and research, an ability to produce exceptional work within a short amount of time, as numerous assignments will always be in the queue. This is a great intro position for someone who has this talent but minimal experience, and wants to learn a great deal quickly in many areas of law. The pay is non-negotiable $10/hour with a review in six months' time. Full benefits are provided after three month probation term is passed. This is the legal equivalent of the medical school graduate's residency experience.

• Location: 4105 W. 26th St.
• Compensation: $10/hour
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Friday, March 05, 2010

"Et tu, Anita?"

"Two books chronicling Eliot Spitzer's meltdown are about to come out. One is entitled, Journal of the Plague Year, by Lloyd Constantine, a former senior adviser and close confidant of Spitzer's, revolves around a three-day period after Spitzer was linked to the prostitution ring before he resigned, during which Constantine camped out at Spitzer's Manhattan apartment. Spitzer was distraught and leaned heavily on his friend, confiding matters about his relationship with his wife. Now neither Spitzer nor Silda is speaking to Constantine."

-Time Magazine, 3/15/10.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Waiting For Godot

"Let's go. Yes, let's go. (They do not move)."


I am very frustrated. After being out of work for a couple of weeks, I got a call to start a project early last week. I was very excited. The day before work was to commence, and after tying up some last minute business, I received a call from the agency informing me that the project had been pushed back to the following Monday. After a long weekend revving up for work, I was informed by email that my project had been pushed back again. A couple of days later, the project (you guessed it) was pushed back, yet again! Screams with frustration.

Foolish me, I called the agency seeking clarification. The lady immediately became snippy, saying that the client was having issues, that they were thankful for my patience, and that I was just going to have to remain on standby. I kindly informed her that I was having issues, that I was precluded from seeking out other employment opportunities, and that if something else came along that I might have to take it. She barked back, saying that I had already agreed to be submitted for the project, that if I 'quit' that I would 'do what I had to do,' before hanging up on me.

Sadly, she probably just doesn't care. By crossing me off her list and dumping my husk on the side of the road, she probably has hundreds of other sorry saps "on standby" eagerly waiting for the job to nowhere. Sadder still, the diploma mills will be pumping out an additional 45,000 victims, and India has thousands of semi-literate reviewers who will work for five dollars an hour."

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Pee In The Cup

"I heard RR Donnelley (the massive octopus legal outsourcing operation)is mass drug testing doc reviewers - if this is true, doc review is hurtling towards blue collar status."

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Compliance Staffing To Shucked Off Contractors: Drop Dead And Go Starve In The Street!

Over a hundred people worked for the massive 3+ year World Trade Center litigation in the Wall Street area for Compliance LP/Patton Boggs. After the end of the project was announced for the first week of October, they kept extending it for an additional week, an additional 3 days, another week etc. In that time people were lining up other projects to jump to off as they could.

Well guess what....now that some of them are coming off their projects and signing up for unemployment benefits, Compliance is contesting ALL of the claims saying that everyone quit before the project ended! That's right, work for 3 years and get dicked around on the end date and then NO BENEFITS FOR YOU. Of course the end date announcements and revisions were always verbally announced so no one has documentation to contest their unemployment denial. DO NOT WORK FOR COMPLIANCE!!!! DO NOT WORK FOR COMPLIANCE!!!! Especially since those turds are offering a new gig at $28 an hour!

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Lexolution Chicken Coop Is Once Again Open For Business

Lex-pollution has re-opened the infamous "Chicken Coop" over on East 40th St. This time it's a Quinn case. We are only getting $32 flat an hour, and the project sucks! There are tons of tags for each document, and the associate from Quinn is strutting around the floor like a Gestapo officer.

No talking allowed, just grind out your work. No Internet access either, naturally. It's a miserable review and even more miserable work environment. They have the heat set on about 110 degrees in here or else it's freezing cold. The bathrooms are filthy as usual and often out of paper towels and soap. Maybe Lexolution should just spread wood shavings or straw on the floor for us to relieve ourselves on. It really is just like a chicken coop! Click Click, cluck cluck! Cock-a-doodle doo!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Jones Day: A Follow-Up

Tom -

The person who wrote to you about the Jones Day project left out several important details:

1. Jones Day never told Hudson that it was a privilege log review, instead telling them it was a straight review using Documatrix. Presumably, this was to save money on the hourly rate, because priv log is always a higher rate.

2. The first year associate Jaime is getting a bad rap. The real jerks are the senior associates, Marla Bergman and Joe Hand. They're the ones being nasty and acting arrogant toward the temps and threatening to fire them daily. They're also the ones who fired the entire project after the first week and then hired all new people.

So please take Jaime off the hook. She wasn't that bad and is presumably under a lot of pressure from the two senior associates mentioned above.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The "ShitFingers" Chronicles - Solo In Bankruptcy Law

The "ShitFingers" Chronicles is a new ongoing venture created by L4L's in which he deconstructs the lies put forth by Solo Practice University and the other after law school scammers, in which they try to use false hope and other after-scamming carpet bagger techniques to bilk an additional $500 out of starving, unsuspecting law graduates.

"ShitFingers" refers to certain characters that L4L came across in the bathroom vestibules of the Sullivan & Cromwell basement. "One particular guy nicknamed 'ShitFingers' liked to operate his side practice via cellphone while dropping heat in the restroom stall, giving 'toilet law' a literal dimension. Later, you’d go to wipe and find he’d captioned draft briefs on the Charmin and hidden a stapler under the toilet tank. I often wondered why he didn’t just tape his law degree up in there alongside the stall’s graffiti. No one would’ve cared. This was, of course, in the SullCrom basement, down amid the boxes."


Today, we talk about becoming a bankruptcy solo. For one easy payment of $495, Solo Practice University will teach you about the intricate ins an outs of bankruptcy practice, mystical knowledge which will ultimately redeem you from the cockroach infested boiler rooms of Paul Weiss hell.


"Professor" Fleischman will teach you about cutting edge developments in cut-and-paste Chapter 7 filings, will devote a whole subsection explaining the growth of consumer credit in the United States (no shit), and just in case you were comatose in law school (and throughout the first twenty-five years of your life) will explain to you what a judge, debtor, and attorney is.

Fascinating stuff, but L4L's will have none of it:

No area of law is 'complex.' The complex thing is getting enough steady clients to make a living, as opposed to drips & drabs.

Some BK attorneys buy mailing lists of folks in trouble and do direct-mail marketing (not allowed in all states, check your bar rules). Others do the phone book/newspaper ad method. Of course the big shops use TV & radio commercials.

All of these cost money. A lot of money. A 1/2 page ad in north NJ county yellow pages will set you back $12,500 a year. That's a shitload of 'simple 7s' just to break even on your ad budget. Direct-mail is 44 cents a clip postage plus the cost of the mailing lists, envelopes/stationary, and a 1-800# (which should bounce calls to your cell, b/c if you miss the call they'll move right on to the next bozo). And of course you ad will be buried amongst the 1000s of other clowns in the phone book and lost in the junk-mail shuffle.

Or you could "network" with CPAs and finance guys who might steer you a client who's in trouble, but most of these guys worth their salt already (i.e successful) already have lawyers/firms they deal with regularly and receive mutual referrals from in return. As a new solo you have nothing to offer them, and thus they won't recommend you unless they're a close family member of yours (like your dad, cough cough).

A guy I did doc review with did BK as a solo (hence his doc review gig LOL), and spent 5 K on google ad words in NJ. Didn't score one client out of it. Unless you wanna pay big $$$ per click with a high click limit, the big mills will pwn you. Remember, these are low-ticket cases with flat fees, so you can't go too wild wasting money on ads.

I saw a diner paper-placemat ad for a BK attorney recently at a diner in Green Brook NJ. Those ads are very cheap (i tried them back in 2007 for injury cases), but totally ineffective. I did 150 K placeats total spread among 7 different NJ diners for only $375 bucks. A run of 150 K lasts the diners like 3-4 months. I got no calls at all from these ads. Not one. You'd be surprised at how abysmal the response rate is for print attorney advertising. The big mills don't buy those TV ads for fun. They're the only thing that works and they know it.

I also tried a full-page 'penny-saver' ad, a 1/4 page ad in 4 different condo newsletters, and about 4 different church bulletins. Believe it or not, the church bulletins were by far the most effective (and the cheapest- only $10 a week). I got about 12-15 living will gigs from these Catholic nutjobs who want to stay 'plugged in' like Terry Schiavo even if their brains are a pile of mush. You'd think they'd be 'dying' to meet their buddy Jesus, but at $400 a pop I didn't ask questions. And sadly, it just wasn't enough $$$ to really make it worthwhile. You see, some shyster firm saw my ad in there and decided to buy the whole back cover of the bulletins for like $150 a week. Once that happened my calls dried up. Be aware that if you do find an 'overlooked' place to advertise, some shyster will soon find out and then come in and outspend you 10 to one to 'shout out' your ad. If I'd had a bit bigger 'war chest' I would've bought the back cover (they offered it to me first), but $600 a month is a lot of $$$ for a heavily indebted Seton Hall loser.

You could always spam-bomb craigslists 'legal services' section like 50 X a day and offer to do 7's in return for a cord of firewood or some Ramen noodles. Or better yet, drop out of law school and get into a trade that people will actually pay money for, like plumbing or auto repair."

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Must Drop Off Convoluted Job Application Form In Blizzard For Short-term Shitlaw Position

Please complete the attached forms: 1) Application; 2) Conflicts form. The Conflicts form can be filled out on your computer and emailed back to us.

But the Application must be filled out by hand and dropped off at our office. This has to be completed ASAP: preferably tomorrow, but if weather is too inclement, Th. morning early is fine. Also, the application asks for 10 years of employment history (please list everything), and the conflicts form asks for firm names/all adverse parties for the last three years. When you do fill out these forms, please be as thorough as possible because they have come back to us with very specific questions.

-Sara Kim

Red Flag The Ad

As many of you know, legal professionals all over the country are
suffering during these economic times. In Richmond, many who have
relied on contract and temporary assignments are being taken advantage
of as concerns wages and over-time. Moreover, we have all witnessed
the diminishing amount of respect being accorded to our peers who have
worked very hard to become attorneys and paralegals. Last minute
cancellations, misrepresentations and a general lack of regard have
become the norm.

That said, please help protect what is left of our integrity by NOT
responding to craigslist posts that do not identify the hiring agency.
The anonymity that craigslist provides, allows the agencies to gather
resumes and then undercut your pay as they fight amongst each other
for the few assignments available in the Richmond market. This results
in lower wages, greater turn over and less respect for our profession
as a whole.

You have worked hard to become a legal professional. Don’t send your
resume to a faceless email address. It hurts all of us (attorneys,
paralegals and even the agencies) in the long run. Please join me in
flagging posts that do not identify the agency or law firm in

-Saint Peter

Monday, February 08, 2010

Jones Day


I was just talking to a friend who told me to watch out for this place in NYC!

He was recently at Jones Day (two weeks ago) for a couple of days. They were fired on the spot because the slave driver felt that they were not typing entries fast enough into the privilege log. Please publish the story to alert others not to work there as the first year associates were real jerks, watching over people. The real punk was the African American female associate named Jaime. She was on a real power trip.

Has anyone else heard anything about this place? I got called to work there awhile back, but I didn't take it as I was able to land something else.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

A Barren Wasteland

I was wondering if you know anything about the DC contract attorney market? Feel free to address this only in your blog, but I'm starting to wonder what's going on.

At least three of the 14 temp firms I signed up with last year have closed their DC offices, and one now appears to be placing only JDs rather than licensed attorneys. Colleagues with years of experience are finding only 1-2 week projects, and I haven't had a nibble since November 2, and that was for $25 an hour.

Is it even worth it to renew my bar dues? Is the market here dead? Or should I try to figure out if maybe this is just me and I had a bad review or something from one of the firms where I worked last year?

Monday, February 01, 2010

2009 Most Profitable Year Ever For The Paul Weiss Slave Drivers

Stuffing hundreds of heavily leveraged law graduates (earning $21 an hour without benefits) into cockroach infested basements, forcing them to slave away for 14 hour days, and then mass firing them the minute the economy takes a downturn is certainly a sure way to make oodles of money. God bless biglaw, the big banks, the ABA, and America!



More Fallout From ABA President Carolyn Lamm's Spin Piece

Tom the Temp

[I wrote this as a Letter to the Editor to the Los Angeles Times on Thursday, January 27, 2010. They apparently were not interested in publishing this in their forum.]

I am the author of “Third Tier Reality,” a blog dedicated to informing potential law students of the risks inherent in going to law school. I am writing in this forum to weigh in on Mark Greenbaum’s opinion piece to the Los Angeles Times on January 8, 2010, and the response from the president of the American Bar Association, which was featured on Above the Law.

Carolyn Lamm asks Mr. Greenbaum to look at the number of students, as opposed to the number of law schools. Fine, let’s do that. We will look at the sheer number of U.S. law students enrolled for the 2008-09 academic year:


By the ABA’s own numbers, ABA-approved law schools had a cumulative enrollment of 142,922 students in 2008-09. There simply is nowhere near such a demand for lawyers, to justify such massive enrollment.

Now let’s look at the number of annual law graduates. According to the NALP, ABA-accredited law schools produced 43,587 graduates for the Class of 2008. The ABA reports 43,588 JDs for the same year.

http://nalp.org/uploads/08SelectedFindings.pdf (page 2)


The fact remains that American law schools are producing far too many graduates. Simply put, there are nowhere near this many available attorney positions in a given year – even in a good economy.

While we are at this, let’s look at some more numbers. Let’s take a peek at the average amount of student debt for law students.


For the 2007-08 academic year, the average amount borrowed for students attending public law schools was $59,324. For those attending private law schools, this amount was $91,506. For the 2001-02 academic year, these respective figures were $46,499 and $70,147.

Carolyn Lamm is incorrect in alluding to the consent decree between the Department of Justice and the ABA, as a reason why the ABA cannot limit the number of law schools or available seats. The suit originated due to the ABA requiring law schools to pay their professors at a certain level. Furthermore, the consent decree expired – by its own terms – on June 25, 2006. The parties have chosen to abide by this lapsed agreement.

Carolyn, if your organization is so concerned about violating antitrust law, you may want to ask the American Medical Association how it manages to accredit only 131 U.S. medical schools.



Or you may want to confer with your counterparts at the American Dental Association to see how they are able to keep the number of ADA-approved member schools down to 58 – without violating antitrust laws.


Could it be that those professional schools actually care about protecting the significant investment of their practitioners and students? Carolyn, your organization simply needs to own up to the fact that it does not care about current law students or recent law graduates.



"Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education."
Bertrand Russell

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Carolyn Lamm To Defrauded Law Students: "Drop Dead And Go Eat Cake!"

Looks like Queen Lamm of the ABA is merely going to "look into" the blatantly fraudulent self-reported employment statistics and the sleazy shenanigans of the subprime banking/educator operators.

"Finally, with respect to your specific question about requiring changes in the way schools report salary and employment information on their recent graduates, the Section is in fact looking at ways it might revise its annual questionnaire to law schools to elicit additional information. While there is no evidence that we have seen that schools are inaccurate in their reports, we may not be asking all the right questions, and that is under review. But we also encourage prospective students to consider carefully their decision to attend law school, their choices of schools and how they finance legal education. We are concerned about student debt and the burden it places on graduates. But we do not equate that concern with limiting entry into the profession. As I said in my letter, we believe it is important that the legal profession be open to entry from all elements of society. The law is not and should not be a closed club."