Swine Flu

Although many of us are shit out of luck when it comes to landing work during this economic recession, at least many of us will be spared from the ravages of pig flu.

Imagine, for example, if the miserable, crowded Vioxx opearation at 65 Broadway was still in operation? Talk about a microbe incubator. Who can forget all the nameless bodies all piled on top of one another coding away at Satan's workshop? (The Bloomberg lemmings have nothing on us oldtimers.) I cringe when I think back upon the small, nasty bathroom that had to serve over 120 people. The odors, the cheapness of Hudson in not providing soap or toilet bowl covers, the permatemp who had a nervous breakdown and wiped her feces all over the wall. Ah, the memories.

Au Revoir, Joan King

Tom,

As a follow up to yesterday's posting, it looks like Joan King is about to retire and her last day at work will be on April 30th.

While Mrs. King is sipping cocktails in Palm Beach, her latest batch of lemmings can look forward to eeking out a living in Bloomberg hell:

"The Bloomberg gig is paying us $20 an hour to be a complete slave. Since the project doesn't make any sense, it's a 'race to the bottom' with the spiralling down salary. It's almost like a test as to how low can you go. But for law graduates they have big egos so some wear suits to the project and tell their friends and family they are 'attorneys'. Robert Half can play on this false ego trip of 'Juris Doctors' at law.

All reports are that business is completely dead in the Big Apple. The record number of New York bar passers last testing - over 90% - has flooded the already saturated market to over 100,000 lawyers. They are willing to do anything and to put up with any working conditions.

I applied to work at Target and Starbucks many times, but did not get hired. I figured that at least I would have a permanent job and some life and benefits. But neither I nor my friends ever got a job. Because the law school scam put us on the wrong track.

You can't talk people thinking of going to law school out of it. Even at $200k they still see it as a great path. But it's actually disqualifying them for a job at WALMART.

As for the agencies, EP Dine changed its name to 'The Dine Group', even though Dine cashed out and is sipping margaritas on some tropical island. One day in 2007 you walked in and they had a whole new management, with no explanation.

'Hudson' is appropriately named because it is like the sewer water in the Hudson River. They will tell you about how you are 'lucky to have any job' and tell you about appropriate attire and to re-do your resume.

As for the horrible recruiters they don't call as much these days since there is nothing to do and people cling on to the Bloomberg $20 an hour gig for dear life."

Joan King Did It Again, Allegedly

"As many of our readers noted, Brooklyn’s part-time program was missing from the new Part-Time Rankings. Our readers further claimed that Brooklyn’s LSAT spread did not match up to the school’s combined program LSAT spread.

Our readers were correct. The LSAT spread found on the US News Rankings (162-165) matches the full-time spread found on the Brooklyn Law website (162-165). It does not look like the part-time spread (158-160) was factored into the new rankings. According to the latest LSAC data sheet, Brooklyn’s full-program LSAT spread should have been 159-164.

Currently, Brooklyn is sharing the 61 spot with a cluster of other schools. A one or two point shift in their overall score would drop the school 5-10 places in the rankings.

So, did Brooklyn game the rankings by not including their part-time program for consideration? Probably. We emailed every dean listed on the Brooklyn website; we will update this post if any respond."

http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2009/04/us-is-looking-.html


I am sure this is all one big misunderstanding. The administration at BLS would never submit fraudulent US News stats, even though Joan King won last year's Beastly Behavior Award on this very blog for submitting skewed post-graduate career stats to US News just two years ago. Swindling law schools, indeed!

http://temporaryattorney.blogspot.com/2007/12/2007-beastly-behavior-award-joan-king.html

Recessionary Torture Chambers

For those lucky enough to be working, I wonder which sweatshop is making the most of the economic downturn by exploiting as many people as possible?

A. Kenyon & Kenyon - "Just wanted to bring attention to Kenyon and Kenyon. The atmosphere there is absolutely brutal. They are firing people left and right without a blink or fingernail of a pretext. Some are fired after a day or two and even after receiving positive feedback. It is beyond ruthless and inhumane."

B. Bloomberg - "Sadly, I feel like Robert Half just picked the wrong company to work with. As a whole, RH was pretty good, but add Bloomberg to the mix and they just let them walk all over them! When the mass firing occurs, Bloomberg simply gives a list of names to Robert Half - no explanation or reason why. And RH doesn't think to ask. It's ridiculous. People were fired after coming in at 8am, during lunch, after leaving at 5pm. It's all so random. Best part? When I gave my 2 weeks notice before leaving, I was told the next day that I would no longer be needed on the project." - JDUnderground

C. DiscoverReady - "They confiscate your phone. I am now preparing for my obligatory strip and cavity search. They also bill by the document and not by the hour, so get ready to run like a lemming. Faster, faster, faster!"

D. Sullivan & Cromwell - "Taking too long in the bathroom is off limits as the litigation support supervisor, Figaro ---has been alerted that people are in the bathrooms and hallways too long. Anyone who is caught violating this policy will be terminated. There are a couple of specialists who will report you so to be safe, step downstairs in the lobby if you have to make a call, for example. Lastly, come totally prepared to meet a cadre of people who have been at SC for a long time (as long term temps) who have a sense of entitlement and behave as the projects is theirs. They also have formed cliques and do not allow anyone else in. If you manage to come in, do not bother with them. They are insulated and do not care about anything else but their own survival. Be prepared to see how some are the darlings of the specialists and are protected no matter what. Be prepared for long hours."

E. Barrasso Consulting - "They run this gig just like a factory- you literally all have to shut your computers down at once for mandatory breaks (which are unpaid of course.) No health or dental either and 1160 a week gross- a single guy or gal will bring home about 800 a week on this gig. I can't resist pointing out that that's 800less a year than a fucking NYC garbage man."

"Miracle On The Hudson" Survivor Shitcanned by Skadden

Just wanted to pass this along, Frank Scudere is definitely one of the good guys, straight forward and honest. Skadden would shitcan Mother Teresa, toss all seven of the Seven Dwarfs into an orphanage, and condemn Snow White to a life as a streetwalker, all in order to prevent a .000005% drop in profits per partner: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30220173/

Robert "Half The Pay"

The infamous Bloomberg project. Let's hear it.

"Our client is looking for JD's for an upcoming research & writing project based in Manhattan. Awaiting admission and studying for the bar are acceptable. 40 hours per week. Please send resume to new.york.midtown@roberthalflegal.com with "Project JD" in the subject line.

RATE: $20 an hour.

LENGTH OF ASSIGNMENT: 6 months"

Attorney Work In India

Tom,

CHANNEL 13 PBS - THE NEWS HOUR - WED - 4/8/09 - c. 7:35PM

The captioned segment highlighted HYDROBAD (sp?) - India's new high-tech sector.

An Indian woman Attorney [name/firm appear on camera], who apparently had just returned from ten years of legal practice in the U.S., was interviewed relative the recent opening of her Firm - QUIZ LEX (sp?) - in a building named SILICON TOWERS.

In essence she represented that five years of Indian legal education is the equivalent of an American legal education; that her employees make the equivalent of one-fifth of an American attorney performing similar work; and that the nature of their work is document review.

Perhaps you will consider contacting the local NY-based PBS affiliate - Channel 13 - to obtain a copy of the referenced broadcast package; request an opportunity to weigh-in on the issue and/or post a comment on THE NEWS HOUR web-site.

Another April Fools' Hoax

Another interesting "job opportunity" being passed around the contract attorney listservs. Are ATL readers so bored with Elie Mystal that they are now resorting to cooking up fake job ads to torture out of work contract attorneys, while they sit in their offices and twiddle their thumbs?

“A major Wall Street white-shoe firm representing numerous high-profile clients across a variety of interesting practice areas has decided to rescind all summer associateship offers for the 2009 summer. Although these future attorneys are all highly qualified and hail from USN&WR Top Ten Firms, we feel that aiding such perennially socially-advantaged people in this economic climate would be contrary to the wave of populism sweeping our nation. In conjunction with this move, we are excited to announce that we will be offering these positions instead to 50 attorneys presently employed as contract attorneys (also known in some firms as 'Document Reviewers', 'JD Reviewers', 'Temps', 'Lifers', 'TTT Bozos', 'S***law Scum', 'Tempie Weirdo A**holes', and various other titles). Having observed the work product of these fine unsung heroes of the legal system’s seedy underbelly over the many years during which we have shamelessly exploited them and their desperation to make the kind of money needed to pay their oppressive student loans, yet also to afford them a lifestyle that their TTT education would not otherwise afford, we have concluded that these persons are the most highly qualified applicants we could possibly hope for.

As such, we are inviting any contract attorneys with at least 1 year of document review experience to apply for this exciting and unprecedented opportunity."

April Fools

"Tom,

Looks like that Excelerate Discovery project was an overhyped hoax. Just another out of town agency looking to get a foothold in New York and build a database. Talk about false hope. Guess the joke is on us."