Friday, April 03, 2009
Another April Fools' Hoax
Another interesting "job opportunity" being passed around the contract attorney listservs. Are ATL readers so bored with Elie Mystal that they are now resorting to cooking up fake job ads to torture out of work contract attorneys, while they sit in their offices and twiddle their thumbs?
“A major Wall Street white-shoe firm representing numerous high-profile clients across a variety of interesting practice areas has decided to rescind all summer associateship offers for the 2009 summer. Although these future attorneys are all highly qualified and hail from USN&WR Top Ten Firms, we feel that aiding such perennially socially-advantaged people in this economic climate would be contrary to the wave of populism sweeping our nation. In conjunction with this move, we are excited to announce that we will be offering these positions instead to 50 attorneys presently employed as contract attorneys (also known in some firms as 'Document Reviewers', 'JD Reviewers', 'Temps', 'Lifers', 'TTT Bozos', 'S***law Scum', 'Tempie Weirdo A**holes', and various other titles). Having observed the work product of these fine unsung heroes of the legal system’s seedy underbelly over the many years during which we have shamelessly exploited them and their desperation to make the kind of money needed to pay their oppressive student loans, yet also to afford them a lifestyle that their TTT education would not otherwise afford, we have concluded that these persons are the most highly qualified applicants we could possibly hope for.
As such, we are inviting any contract attorneys with at least 1 year of document review experience to apply for this exciting and unprecedented opportunity."