Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Document Review Elite


Saw this posting recently for a 'top tier' document review project:

"Compliance LP is staffing an immediate document review project in Washington, DC. We are seeking recent '09 law review graduates or graduates from top -tier law schools, awaiting bar results. The project will require 50-60 hours per week for 5-8 weeks at a competitive rate with OT.

Interested and qualified candidates must be conscientious, posses a strong work ethic and be eager to wok in a professional working environment. Document review preferred, but not required."

Apparently not even document review is low enough for those of us from bad law schools anymore.


Anonymous said...

shoot me please

Anonymous said...

I suggest everyone who sees this copy the doc review ad and send it to every member of Congress and explain how it shows that the federal government should not be backstopping federal loans anymore.

Anonymous said...

Make that law school loans

Anonymous said...

This is the part that amuses me in the ad:

"work ethic and be eager to wok"

Are you eager to wok? I am eager to wok, wok, wok.

Anonymous said...

Top tier grads: Welcome to the toilet!

While I am unemployed and about to apply for food stamps, it would suck so much more to have just graduated from a top tier school and have to suck up to a no brain JAWSEY GIRL to scrounge up document review work!

Top tier grad: meet your new supervisor, BIG FAT ASS MAMAMAMAMAMA!!!!

Say goodbye to the ivy covered ivory tower, and get ready for the GHETTO!

Anonymous said...

yikes! the end is nigh

Anonymous said...

Would a Drexel Law grad qualify for this position?

Anonymous said...

"For those inside the (Top 14) Race, everything."

"For those outside the (Top 14) Race, nothing."

beerguzzlingtemp said...

Cocksuckers !

Anonymous said...

Good, let these Ivy Leaguers and top tier people see the ghetto world of doc. review. When the law firms are ready to hire them again for associates, these poor bitches will not be suitable enough - having lost all graces and become just plain old ghetto. he, he, pretty soon they will be running around stabbing partners ala Valvina, Big Mamma and that crazy associate at S&C!!! What a sight - a movie should be made about the ghetto-ization of the 'elite'. Anyone can sit their fat ass in a cushy protected Big Law office and eat firm-paid sushi for dinner - but can ANYONE do doc review with Big Mamma?? Nooooo, we'll how strong they really are .....I am lovin' this....

Anonymous said...

8:00 How does one apply for food stamps?

Anonymous said...

Please god inflict Nora Plesant with pancreatic cancer.

Anonymous said...


Suck it up, elite school grads. You is gonna be clicking and licking. Clicking that mouse and licking paralegal ass.


Anonymous said...

Read all about it here:

Nando said...

I suppose we should be grateful that the bastards are even hiring American law grads. See ABA "Ethics" Opinion 08-451.

Check out:

Helga said...

at $28 an hour? Don't bite. It is bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Looks like Lexolution loves those HB1 Visas:

Anonymous said...

I hope they all burn under Big Mamma's ass - all these weasels and mega-nerds!! Let them get a taste of real life and not squestered in some tower with their bifocals and braces!! Ha, ha, ha, -- I am already mopping floors at Starbucks. I would love it if some came to work for me!! They act sooooo important - I went to ivy league too - it can only take you so far. Life humbles everyone - you have to keep getting up and going - I talked to one bitch from harvard the other day - 26 and voice so inlfated with importance - i was like bitch give it another 10 years - deep in your heart you;ll know then it takes a lot more than Harvard - it takes soul and grit and balls of steel - to see death and unemployment and poverty and disease and your children die....and still get up and go -- well all that didn't happen to me, but it has to friends - and they are the real heroes not these two -bit assholes from Ivy - suck my dick!!

Anonymous said...

"be eager to wok in a professional working environment"

Ha, ha, ha, ha -- ain't that funny. begging for bathroom breaks, no air, no air-conditioning, ghetto bitches yelling at you -- some professional environment!!

Anonymous said...

Most people who go to "top-tier" and join Big Law are ugly and nerdy. Once they start making money they get plastic surgery, buy some new threads and go to the gym. When at S&C I saw some before and after photos of some of the partners - yikes!!!what a difference money makes...

Anonymous said...

I got a new job request but fear it is the old low ball salary.
They don't mention payolla.

The current temps and LLM's helped allow the rates to go down by doing nothing to protest.

But the market is dead as a doornail. I haven't heard of any work.

Anonymous said...

S&C basement is officially hell on earth. I just want to die.

Anonymous said...

There are no jobs.
Law is the "safe profession."
The guaranteed road to security.


Hundreds of thousands of unqualified people for any other field, flowing into the law schools like a tidal wave.

Have you met these people?
Could they really be doing anything else?

hnx said...

I don't think there is any doc review work out there, maybe some if you know japanese or dutch but most people won't have that.

Doc review has been really competitive for awhile now. Thing is, it's an employer's market out there, so they can ask for 5 years worth of exp and top tier law grads, and they can get it because nobody has work.

Alternative careers is such bullshit too. The only thing you're qualified for out of law school is to be an attorney, and honestly you're not really qualified for that either. Nobody will hire a law grad that hasn't been an attorney for at least a few years, you have to be an attorney and then work your network.

I understand how elitist a top 14 grad could be and the annoyance at that, but there are annoying people from anywhere in the top 80 and probably below that as well. Law school generally attracts a certain type of person. It's just it's more likely that those out of the top 14 will get that reality check.

Keep up the good work on the blog, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one in my situation. It is maddening. I doubt I'll ever pay these student loans off, eventually they won't let me defer it anymore and it'll just kill my credit, but, well, who cares about that either. I can definitely see myself moving to Mexico or somewhere and just opening up a small shop.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you do the most logical thing for a person in your situation: get an MBA. I'll send you a bill for
my services.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone worked with Marjorie at Strategic?

Anonymous said...

Ben Bernanke said the recession is over. Really??? Maybe he should come live with me in my underwear and eating rice and beans...

Anonymous said...

I'm at a point where I just don't really care any more about my student loans. I'm gonna default sooner or later. Why stress about it? People say, "Oh, it will mess up your credit. You won't be able to get a mortgage." HELLO! I owe $170,000 for law school. Do you think I'm dreaming of buying a house any time in the near future anyway? Yeah, I'll probably get disbarred. It would be a blessing.

Anonymous said...

But record people are applying to law school.

"I want to be a doctor of laws. A doctorate is better than an MA or MBA."

"It's a good thing to have."

Anonymous said...

Everyone should not pay back their student loans.
Society is exploiting you (your ignorance and suckerness) and so you don't owe society anything.

What is being disbarred? The bar is a joke. It isn't prestigious and they don't help they are just punitive.

I went to a top law school, Hofstra, and have never had a real job even only 1-2 temp.
I am eating canned ravioli and McD's value menu.

I applied to Starbucks and Target and could not get hired. I must have applied to Walmart 100 times. I am not joking. I wanted any steady job at a big compamy.

Anonymous said...

Which of the agencies have jobs?

I have not heard of any jobs at all,even at the $20 or lower new market rate.

Please tell me which agency to contact.

I will do ANYTHING to land a position including the hanky panky everyone else uses as a fish hook.

Anonymous said...

Hofstra really does rank way up there with Harvard.

Anonymous said...

Forbes wrong again (forgot to list lawyers as #1 worst, and incorrectly listed the best job, federal employee).

Forbes Magazine just listed some of the worst jobs to have for the 21st Century. Here are the top 10:

1. News Analysts, Reporters and Correspondents
2. Economists
3. Announcers
4. Travel Agents
5. Jewelers and Precious Stone and Metal Workers
6. Farmers and Ranchers
7. Federal Employees
8. Computer Programmers
9. Insurance Agents
10. Fisherman and Fishing Boat Operators

Read the full article here to hear why these jobs are dead ends. The good news is that if you have one of these jobs, you are most likely an employee at will and therefore you are free to leave whenever you feel like it. This is America and you can quit your job any time just as your employer is free to fire you whenever it wants.

Anonymous said...

I went to Hoftsra. I haven't paid my student loans since graduating $190k, have child support arrears and alimony, unpaid rent, no job whatsoever.
What should I do?
I am at the end of the road.

Anonymous said...

Hoftsra is teaching the same thing as Harvard, and the faculty is better/more committed to the students. It's a good ticket if there was a real job market which there ain't.

Anonymous said...

I would even work at a Boston Legal and let Denny squeeze my buns and leer at my 40 year old jugs.

I'll wear a diaper like the Cravath partner girl.

Anonymous said...

Should I apply to Drexel Law? I heard it's tops in the Philly market.

Anonymous said...

What is the most important thing when applying for a law job (temp)?

Yes I think race.

Anonymous said...

time to call out the law school apologists in JD underground:



Anonymous said...

Get your HOT JOBS NOW! ACT FAST! these will go faster than a stack of hotcakes in the S&C Cafe!
Reliable and competent painter needed
Its all about the painting of my apartment, i need someone with good refrence for the job
get back to my email address through

Awaiting you rensponse

Anonymous said...

Only the Elite need apply! Thanks in advance!
Wanted Now (UNIONDALE, NY)
Executive driver should apply for this position. Contact us now for more info

Compensation: Neg.
Telecommuting is ok.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Anonymous said...

$10-$12/hour! We have arrived!
Warehouse Loaders (Bronx)
Classic Party Rentals, a national event rental company, is seeking several dependable Warehouse Loaders to work our 2pm – midnight shift for our Bronx, NY location.

Warehouse Loaders load and unload trucks and assist with other warehouse duties as required. This physical position includes working in all types of weather conditions that may not be climate controlled. Candidates must have full range of motion and be able to lift at least 50 pounds on a consistent and repetitive basis. Must be able to work 2pm to midnight shift and weekends. $10-12/ hour depending on experience.

Respond online or fax application to 866-835-8238.

Classic Party Rentals is an Equal Employment Opportunity employer that promotes work force diversity and hires without regard to race, color, religion, national origin, age, gender, marital status, disability, sexual orientation, veteran status or other protected status.

The Company
Classic Party Rentals is the nation’s leading provider of full service special event rentals. Through its nationwide network, Classic expertly services local mid- to high-end events including: celebrity events and premieres, national political conventions, golf tournaments, auto racing and major sporting events, as well as weddings, special occasions and family parties, corporate, educational and charity events. The company offers professional planning, implementation, on-site support, and a broad inventory of china, glassware, flatware, linens, designer furniture, tables, chairs, and kitchen equipment. Classic is also a leading provider of tents, clear span structures, power, climate control and sub-flooring.
Classic Party Rentals, headquartered in Los Angeles, was started in 1997 with the goal of building a regional/national platform to acquire, consolidate, operate and lead the special event rental industry. The Classic name was adopted from one of the company’s initial acquisitions and is highly regarded for providing exceptional equipment and service to such high-profile events as the Academy Awards and the Grammys. Since 2003, Classic, with private equity sponsorship and professional management, has executed a coast-to-coast acquisition and organic growth strategy, making acquisitions and growing revenue from $45 million to $300 million. Classic’s success in bringing entrepreneurial businesses together on a common operations platform is based on intense customer service, robust infrastructure and mastery of operational integration, and assures a seamless transition. Most importantly, the acquired business’s local presence and reputation for premier service is preserved, while leveraging Classic’s national and award-winning brand, geographic network of 35 locations, and over $100 million of inventory. Classic’s future growth is predicated on the company’s ability to grow organically and to continue geographic expansion in key markets. In the current economic environment, overall revenue is down by more than 20%, and with limited capital there are no acquisitions planned. Within five years, Classic is destined to grow to $500 million profitability.

Classic employs 2200 people and operates in 12 states: California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Tennessee, Illinois, Virginia, New York, and a Washington D.C. location.

Location: Bronx
Compensation: $10-12
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Anonymous said...

Clean & sanitize hospital & kitchen equipment! A dream within a dream!!
Hard Working Labor Technicians Needed- Immediate Start
Hard working and flexible employees needed immediately.

Our company specializes in the cleaning, sanitization and repairs of hospital and kitchen equipment. Our hours of operation and job locations fluctuate, which require us to hire flexible employees.

This job comes with the opportunity to grow within our company - as we will be looking for team leaders / managers.

* Must be willing to travel

* Must be willing to work 1st, 2nd and 3rd shifts

Full-time and part-time positions available

Interested candidates should reply to the posting with their name, address, email and phone number - we will be meeting with potential employees immediately.

Compensation: Starting at $10.00 per hour
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Anonymous said...

Ciao bello! you talking to me?
italian+english speaking babysitter/housekeeper
Cercasi persona con esperienza o volonta' di apprendere per lavoro di babysitter/housekeeper in Manhattan con bimba di nove anni,preferibilmente in eta' 20/45,con ORARI MOLTO FLESSIBILI. LASCIARE MESSAGGIO CON NOME E TELEFONO al 2124777184

Anonymous said...

up to 50k/year!! better than most lawyers!!! lol..oh the irony!

Compensation: 35-50K
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Anonymous said...

sigh...should have gone to a trade school..could have been an electrician made up to 100k/year, union, great benefits..thought this would be like The Practice...oh well..wheres Dylan McDermott?

Anonymous said...

90% of people going to law school are unmarketable liberal arts grads (suckered into lib arts) who believe TV law shows.

They should actually just try to do what they can with their B.A. in English.

English what a smart degree to get!

ooga booga.

Anonymous said...

Strategic is a very high quality outfit. Michelle Vega was there. She was the best.

Anonymous said...

avoid Legal Options..they never have any work and offer the lowest rates around..trifling..

Anonymous said...

I thought the lowest rate was Peak?

What are the rates like on the West Coast? $40?

Anonymous said...

I am still pretty young and have had 1 temp job.

Where will I be when i am 50 or 60? Will I have a career to look back on?

Or still living at home with mum and dad like now.

the American dream... a big fraud.

i'd be happy to have my dad's union sanitation worker job. Nicer people to work with too he has some nice friends.

Anonymous said...

I will do anything for a job.

Anonymous said...

Overqualified for fast food, underqualified for BigLaw..cant afford my rent but cant get public assistance the ghetto parasites..sigh..diving headfirst off the 59th st bridge is very appealing...

Valvina Scissorhands said...

You should fuck someone like I did to get a job - fuck them and beat them - these "paralegal managers" at top law firms love that...oh and by the way, I fucked both the men and women - you can't be too picky...when I was a temp my supervisor was an old middle-aged nasty wench who couldn't get laid - she'd turned gay by default - so I did her as well - and look at me now - rolling in dough - well it's a lot for a dominica and shure more than you white peoples

Anonymous said...

Valvina you speak the truth!!! always loved your torpedo boobs! glad to know you have high aspirations in life..perm para @ S&C is living the dream! we're moving on up to the east side!

Anonymous said...

Valvina will cut your crotch off with her scissors. S & C's finest.

Anonymous said...

When the economy turns around, doc reviewers better be much more revolutionary. I am sick of all the suck ups that try to justify such shitty conditions, lack of benefits/advancement, and post scrooges swimming around in gold on their web pages, while the firms bill them out at $500 an hour and pay them a pathetic 35 an hour, and then when their profits drop one little iota, dump them onto the unemployment rolls for months on end.

If they want, let them outsource all of this shit to India, and let's hasten the popping of the law school bubble. Fuck the firms, fuck the law schools, and fuck the ABA. Fuck them all.

Anonymous said...

Dave Moss: Aw, fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!

Anonymous said...

Can we please refrain from using offensive words? Young children may be reading this.

Thank You.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about young children - but retards are certainly reading this .

Anonymous said...

The funny thing is that nobody wants to hire shit heads that THINK they are the shit. You bought into the dream...but how many of you have actually held a job? If you had actually "worked" your way through school, instead of might actaully be working right now instead of reading this dribble.

Anonymous said...

Enough of this boring crap - where's the juicy gossip. Who's getting laid at S&C, is Gaylard banging anyone else, did Whoredan have a bastard child, did Valvina cut up Figaro, did Big Mamma go into Menopause, did Clovester finally kiss Marky, did chocolate-chaser Tiny finally get his penis extended??? Come on, peoplezzzzzz, where's the REAL stories!!!

Dave Moss Lite said...

"Oh, screw most of you. Screw the majority of you. Screw very many of you."

Anonymous said...

When the rates were being cut and hours were cut, no one complained, protested, or quit. The sucking up was unbelievable. But these people are desperate.
I don't think temps will ever improve and that they will ever be revolutionary. The reason they are where they are is they are sheep followers.

Anonymous said...

I never met a temp who was overqualified for fast food.
If these people would apply they are perfect for working at McDs and Starbucks.
Except for the 80% who don't do any work.

Akshen said...

I think that simple shunning and undermining these Ivy League assholes with massive senses of entitlement may be a good option. When times are good and BigLaw jobs are plentiful, they lord their "exalted" and "elite" status over us every chance they get -- and if they don't themselves, their firms certainly do (so they are complicit). Now that times aren't so good and the BigLaw Gravy Train has run off the tracks, these pampered douchebags NOW want work that previously they were good for?

Really, show some balls folks -- IF you are on a project with any of these "document review elite," make them as UNWELCOME as possible. Do NOT exchange pleasantries with them. Do NOT offer to train them (that should be the firm's responsibility anyway, but do NOT answer any questions they have). Do NOT eat lunch or have a beer with them. IF you have any pull with the agencies or firm personnel, use your pull to make their lives as miserable as possible. (I know that the last one is a stretch, but I also know that some permatemp reviewers do have some influence -- if so, NOW is the time to use it.) Make them feel as welcome as a Klansman at a Nation of Islam meeting (or vice-versa).

I hate to have to sound this hardcore, nasty and Machiavellian (all qualities that I am normally NOT) -- but let's face facts. During the good times, they benefit from a system that very often degrades and infuriates us. During bad times, they EXPECT the doc review route (to the extent that it still exists) to be their personal Ivy-guilded Welfare State and take food out of our mouths. Treat them like shit whenever and wherever possible.

Anonymous said...

6:25. Yes you are totally right. Thank you for your insightful comments. They need to see the life they have helped create in its full glory. Maybe they'll be more sensitive when they get back to their little perches. I for one would never be seen dead with these smart, but socially awkward mega-nerds. Have you noticed how many are ugly???

The Black Gestapo said...

NOW is the time to use it.) Make them feel as welcome as a Klansman at a Nation of Islam meeting (or vice-versa).

You mean like these guys?

Anonymous said...

If you really want more doc review work I heard Dine and Synergy are staffing. Got an email last week asking me to join one of their projects. They got work coming from Huron.

Neal said...

To those ranting about T14 students. Consider this hypothetical:

Imagine a world where every law school is treated the same for biglaw recruiting (i.e. Top 10% at Cooley = top 10% at Harvard). In such a world, there would still be only a finite number of biglaw spots. With current hiring as it is, it is doubtful that there would be spots in biglaw firms for anyone outside the top 15% of their class at any school.

Now, if you are ranting about T14 schools ask yourself this. Was I in the top 15% of my law school? If the answer is "No", then you should stop blaming "elitism" for your problems. You have only yourself to blame for not putting in those extra hours at the library.

Akshen said...

Imagine a world where every law school is treated the same for biglaw recruiting (i.e. Top 10% at Cooley = top 10% at Harvard). In such a world, there would still be only a finite number of biglaw spots. With current hiring as it is, it is doubtful that there would be spots in biglaw firms for anyone outside the top 15% of their class at any school.

IF that were the way it really worked, then I myself could live easier with such a hiring system. TTT lawyer that I am, I realize that there are only so many jobs at BigLaw even during the best of times.

But generally that is NOT how it works. Some bonehead who graduated at the bottom of his class at a USN&WR Top 12 school will ALWAYS get an interview at SOME BigLaw firm. Maybe not Cravath or Skadden, but at SOME BigLaw firm. Someone who graduated at the bottom of the class at a TTT will NEVER get an interview. The TTT grad at the bottom of his class shouldn't get the interview I agree, but then again neither should the Harvard grad at the bottom of his class. But they do (the official rationale being that going to an Ivy school somehow automatically makes them "smarter" even though grades-wise there's no difference between the Harvard bottom-dweller grad and the TTT bottom-dweller grad). That is where the accusation of elitism comes in.

And before you (or anyone else) says that stuff like that doesn't happen: I know myself that it does. A former friend of mine went to Georgetown (and went undergrad to an Ivy); I went to a TTT law school. Our grades, GPAs, and class rankings were quite similar. Guess who got a job at BigLaw and who didn't (hint: not me)?

Anonymous said...

1:28PM, I agree. The same rule applies for undergrad, as well. If you look at certain companies you will find they often hire from certain schools. If you do not go to the right school, you will have a very low chance of a job with a respective company. As I have gotten wiser I have realized that High School really does predict what options you get in life. The social fit is much more important then the academic one.

Liz said...

Compliance was only paying 28 an hour, straight. The "elite school" thing was just a way for them to look good to the client, and lower the number of applications they had to handle. It's nothing personal. The real problem is that they have so many potential applicants that they need to screen schools. Don't waste your time hating on people who are only marginally better off. We're all still stuck with a bad deal. If you want to really change something, support atudent loan legislation so all the people who paid ridiculous amounts for a worthless degree can get out of this mess.

Anonymous said...

Stop complaining about elite schools and grads. You should have applied and gotten in if you were good enough. I see some jealously for you whiners.

trifle goods said...

many thanks for the infos..