Thursday, May 14, 2009

Update Legal

"I just found your blog but wish I found it earlier before I wasted my time with Update Legal. They called me for a job that supposedly paid $35 in Manhattan but I had to work 8-10 hour days with no overtime pay (is that legal??). The interview is in Jersey but they assured me that the work would be done in Manhattan. Then, right before my interview, I give them a call to ask last minute questions and that's when they tell me that the job is in Jersey and I would have to commute every day there. Then to make matters worse, they said that if I take the job, I'm not allowed to look for permanent work anymore. After paying taxes, and paying for a dog walker and paying for the commute and paying with my sanity, my dog walker would make more than me.

This might not be newsworthy but I have to agree that they are some shady bastards. They also called me on another job basically trying to get me to lie about one of my qualifications to make me seem more qualified than I was."

228 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Glad you liked it. Maybe we worked together, although I must confess that I was not the most popular guy around. But that is ok if people hate me. I hate them right back!

Anonymous said...

so glad js mill gets some play on a temp blog. im sure he'd be proud

"I wrote an independent study thesis in college on Mill"

ah hahahahaha I wrote some papers in college too!!!!

fartomatic said...

9:12 - Jesus fucking christ on a crutch. are you going to tell me that some 'whites' don't have a predisposition to hiring other 'whites'????? I've already said/conceded that cloistered groups will do all kinds of shitty things to 'others' for their own pathetic prejudice towards their 'own', but are you seriously going to say, with a straight face, that 'whites' aren't just as guilty of this prejudice as every single fucking other group???

I apologize, you're not stupid, you're delusional.

Anonymous said...

Many delusional whites overcome with white guilt in fact desire to hire minorities, and indeed sponsor insidious affirmative action programs.
But guess what, puppy-pup? I do not care what you think about me. You have proven yourself to be my natural enemy. So there is no reason to continue to lower myself by continuing this conversation with you. It is like arguing with a drunkard.

Anonymous said...

"One further note--we live in a climate where every group is encouraged to have a collective interest for their group except whites. This is by design by the usual suspects."

I am "white", but the fact is that "white" is an artificially cooked-up group, the invention of racist Caucasians (traditionally the majority of Caucasians in this country), who need to divide people up into groups based on "color", so they can have groups to look down on.

This is the legacy of slavery in this country. Southern "whites" were largely Scots-Irish and English, but gradually as new Northern and Western European groups entered the country, followed by Southern and Eastern European groups, each successive wave of "white" immigrants wanted to become part of the dominant racial class, and began identifying as "white".

This identification has much more to do with what people are NOT than what they ARE.

Anonymous said...

"You have proven yourself to be my natural enemy. So there is no reason to continue to lower myself by continuing this conversation with you."

everything you type just screams CRAZY!

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, the Jewish trick to try and convince people that race does not exist, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary.

Anonymous said...

Yikes - can we just talk about temp work once in a while?

fartomatic said...

'puppy-pup'; 'natural enemy'. yup, yer a nut.

Anonymous said...

Disagree with what I say? Unable to refute my contentions? Just call me names like dummy or not. What a classic move.

Anonymous said...

I am compiled previous comments and parodies concerning Clovester (a nickname I invented). The quotes after the bottom below the line were written by someone else. Hope you all enjoy!

Does Clovis still have the same catch-phrase, "Hey guys, whatz goin' on?" What a little bitch! I remember how he fancied himself a huge football fan. I wanted to ask him if ever played the game.

Au contraire. Word has it that Clovis is not a virgin. Namely, the rumor was that he banged some ugly fat bitch who thought herself a Gucci Mamma.
I will say that Clovester was certainly a bungboy to many an associate, at least FIGURATIVELY speaking.
Ever notice how he basically wears the same thing everyday, just the color of his wrinkled Ralph Lauren shirts changes. There should be an animated parody of ol' Clovester, featuring coding drones sitting about, as Clovester walks around, each time the color of his shirt changes. Sometimes he would come out with a tape gun in hamd, other times to make an announcement. Maybe he could even do a variety show, live from templand. He would come out from the boxes, looking his slovenly self, greeting the audience with his line, "Hey guyz, whatz going on," replete with his near Sylvester the Cat droll. Between each segment, a theme jingle featuring heavy use of horns would be heard, as he downs yet another chocolate candy bar. Bum, bum bum-bum-bum, bum bum bum-bum-bumm, bum bum bum-bum-bum, BWAM!
Is Fred Flintstone none other than Mark Marker?
These people are petty and despicable, not to mention an irrefutable indictment of this shit profession.
Hey guyz, what's goin' on? (spoken with a Sylvester the cat droll)


Hey guys, whatz goin' on?

______________________________

Clovis playing football? yeah right! Not unless the QB is lobbing twinkies, I can picture Clovis on the field trying to catch them with an open mouth.

Would be fun to lay the smackdown on that fat French-Kosher dumpling, just as the twinkie football lands in his mouth. BOOM!

Someone should really follow up on the aforementioned idea of a cartoon centered around that 45 year old virgin with the other loser analyst as supporting characters. Gaylord represented by a long skinny rat, the Ghettoasian by short fat bull dog, MM (Fred) definitely by a an hippopotamous, and the STAR by a big dumppy platypus with the one shirt of MANY COLORS.LOL

Oh, and Clovis a sa Duck billed platypus is PERFECT hahahhahahhahahhahhhaha and mark marker as teh big fat Hippo even better hahhahahhahhahhahhaa

No way did Clovis ever get it on with any human, fat or otherwise. Maybe a goat? Poor poor goat..... traumatized forever. Platypus is a great image for that fat sloppy usless major Alex suckup twinkee swallowing dump of a nothing.

Does Clovis ever shower?

Clovester is such an eyesore. Honestly, they should NOT let him wander the hallways during 9-5 client visitation hours. He is bloated, puffy and smelly. I don't know why they've still kept him.
And top of that he is not fair to temps. If you are not good-looking you should at least have a nice personality!!

Anonymous said...
The less said about stankly Clovester the better--gives me the chills

fartomatic said...

so 9:40, one more question: when self-crucifying, how do you get the last mail in?

Anonymous said...

mail = nail. duh.

Anonymous said...

Are you saying I am a messiah. Wow I feel honored. Actually, perhaps not so much.

Anonymous said...

9;21. Pretty remarkable collection. Cracked me up!! All descriptions very true!
Not to be liked in the temp world is a bonus!! Who wants to be liked by half those people?

fartomatic said...

9:50 - Yes, I am saying you are the messiah, in that you are fictional and likely a closeted gay.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, I appreciate it that. I was pretty unpopular there. I lasted as long as I did becaause I actually did my work, had a good rate of production, and was very accurate. I caught stuff that other people had missed, as someone on second review told me. Cunty Anorexia, who was widely believed to be boning Wrinkled Shirt Rudey aka A Gaylord wanted to get me fired. Did not happen, although I eventually went down in time over some other matter that was really stupid. Best thing that ever happened to me. Cunty later worked at a sweatshop biglaw firm, but last I heard she is no longer there. Maybe she died in a murder or car crash. One can only hope (is that SO wrong?).
Anyway, I am glad you appreciate my writing. Not all appreciate my writing or my sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

more classic moves--you do not agree with what I say, unable to refute, so you call me gay. You have the mentality of small child on the playground.

fartomatic said...

10:09 - HA! you failed the test! calling you gay was a compliment, but you took it as an insult. Clearly the hebes are oppressing you!

Anonymous said...

10:08. Well many of these people are pretty despicable and I don't blame you for having this reaction. I think the better the place we come from originally the more severe our reaction.
At least you are funny and have retained your sense of humor!

Anonymous said...

For someone who comes from a rich Jewish family, Clovy sure wiped out. He is an alumnus of this private school:

http://www.lfnyalumni.org/en/classmate/classmateresults/classmateresults.php?criteria=1990

Anonymous said...

update is going to hell in a handbasket. they were once the bully on the block, now they are lucky if they can get work.

a long time employee recently left which has hurt them and on top of that they have been trying to fight a law suit against them from another former employee (now owner of a shitty little agency) who successfully sued update for mucho denarios. she also stolen several big clients aways.

update's days of being the 600 lbs gorilla are over. now they just have a few 600lbs cows working for them

Anonymous said...

I am Italian. And, I don't appreciate the anti-semitic remarks.

Anonymous said...

Update is the best agency. It's the place with the jobs. They are your advocates, I found in my long experience. The law firms count on them for their professionalism and discression.

Anonymous said...

antisemitism is on the rise. why not? arent they responsible for the economic conditions we are in today.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Update Legal...I bet they just LOVE the BigLaw associates coming in trying to get temporary jobs. That's cool though. I'm corporate so apparently I'm not qualified to do document review except that's what I was doing the last few months at my BigLaw job before the ax fell.

I need to create a company where I can blacklist people, starting with certain temp agencies.

Anonymous said...

My goodness, what a site!

I received an e-mail about a legal position from one of these recruiters and decided to look up the agency and comments online. I then found this board. Wow, what a sad economy.

In my case, I was laid off after many years of employment but with savings so I am not looking very hard for any work, but my resume is posted in csse I see something interesting.

This temporary work market is terrible for you. I think some of you might consider attending legal functions and mingling with personal injury attorneys in hopes of landing some per diem work. Depositions pay nicely, and sometimes you get well booked that you are caused to refer work out.
Anyway, good luck to you all. Thanks for the wonderful link to Dustin Hoffman "I'm walking here!"

Anonymous said...

Update is an absolutely horrendous agency to work for. Completely dishonest and unprofessional, you have to go home and take a shower each day to feel clean after dealing with these people. The managers were jokes, it was like Mean Girls but much sadder since people were adults, supposedly with JDs. Avoid at all costs.

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