For those lucky enough to be working, I wonder which sweatshop is making the most of the economic downturn by exploiting as many people as possible?
A. Kenyon & Kenyon - "Just wanted to bring attention to Kenyon and Kenyon. The atmosphere there is absolutely brutal. They are firing people left and right without a blink or fingernail of a pretext. Some are fired after a day or two and even after receiving positive feedback. It is beyond ruthless and inhumane."
B. Bloomberg - "Sadly, I feel like Robert Half just picked the wrong company to work with. As a whole, RH was pretty good, but add Bloomberg to the mix and they just let them walk all over them! When the mass firing occurs, Bloomberg simply gives a list of names to Robert Half - no explanation or reason why. And RH doesn't think to ask. It's ridiculous. People were fired after coming in at 8am, during lunch, after leaving at 5pm. It's all so random. Best part? When I gave my 2 weeks notice before leaving, I was told the next day that I would no longer be needed on the project." - JDUnderground
C. DiscoverReady - "They confiscate your phone. I am now preparing for my obligatory strip and cavity search. They also bill by the document and not by the hour, so get ready to run like a lemming. Faster, faster, faster!"
D. Sullivan & Cromwell - "Taking too long in the bathroom is off limits as the litigation support supervisor, Figaro ---has been alerted that people are in the bathrooms and hallways too long. Anyone who is caught violating this policy will be terminated. There are a couple of specialists who will report you so to be safe, step downstairs in the lobby if you have to make a call, for example. Lastly, come totally prepared to meet a cadre of people who have been at SC for a long time (as long term temps) who have a sense of entitlement and behave as the projects is theirs. They also have formed cliques and do not allow anyone else in. If you manage to come in, do not bother with them. They are insulated and do not care about anything else but their own survival. Be prepared to see how some are the darlings of the specialists and are protected no matter what. Be prepared for long hours."
E. Barrasso Consulting - "They run this gig just like a factory- you literally all have to shut your computers down at once for mandatory breaks (which are unpaid of course.) No health or dental either and 1160 a week gross- a single guy or gal will bring home about 800 a week on this gig. I can't resist pointing out that that's 800less a year than a fucking NYC garbage man."
108 comments:
Whoever wrote this is hysterical. Its all true.
This is absolutely ludicrious. The clients funding many of these hellholes are being bailed out by TARP by the way. If this were France and people were subjected to these kind of crapholes there would be riots in the streets.
This is all right on. I worked in many of these places. In this economy, there are no safe havens. It's like a sadist horror house in hell. Unless you want to be homeless, you just got to grit your teeth and put up with the abuse.
Anybody deciding to go to law school these days needs to get their head checked. Fordham for example just jacked up their tuition another 6% in a deflationary environment.
Dont forget one of the last remaining S&C sweatsop gigs!
If you are lucky enough you too can get hired to sit in the basement for 12 hours a day with alex gaylord and the cellar dwellers peeping through the boxes at you like 40-something horny molesters!
You too can have the whip cracked against your back by Whoredan and Ghetto Asian, two of the finest case managers the slums of S&C have to offer!
No Internet!
No Flatscreen monitors!
No/Slow cars!
No Weekend work!
No Lights!
Apply now!
It's beyond me why anyone would work at Kenyon & Kenyon's sweatshop.
Internet is blocked, cellphones aren't allowed, talking isn't allowed, and you're "asked" to review thousands of pages per day unless you want to get canned after a few days. You must be there at 9 am sharp or else.
The associate is crazy. She fires and hires a new crop of temps every week for the smallest infraction.
I'm sooooo glad I'm out of there.
What's her name?
Is that shitbag Alex still at S and C? Did anyone tell his wife about the suspicions many had of infidelities with that anorexic whore among others? What about that piggy Clovis?
Discover Ready is only a little bit better than S and C. Be prepared to get a phone call if you question or complain about their ridiculous policy of taking cell phones.
S & C sucks because of the hours. Spending 12 hours a day locked in a room with a bunch of psychopaths will start to make you question your own sanity. DiscoveryReady feels like a prison, but at least you can get the hell out of there after 8 hours and have a life outside the office.
Another advantage to Discover Ready is Danielle--very much grade a tail. Good for eatin' AND fuckin'!
can someone tell me what the deal is w/ Discover Ready? Are they just a placement agency?
The problem at Kenyon is not the no cellphone/internet policy and strict timekeeping. The issue is firing 6 new people simultaneously after a couple of days for no reason at all. You plan to start a project 2-3 weeks in advance, come to training and then are told to leave. I am not talking about flimsy pretexts - NO PRETEXT AT ALL. It is absolutely insane over there - I think the workers in the plantation were treated better.
law firms outsource doc review to discover ready...they get paid by the doc, we get paid by the hour.
Danielle has too much class for someone like you. I doubt she notices your alive, you animal.
Discover Ready contracts to do the review for the firm's clients. It is sort of outsourcing gig. The thing is they charge by the hour--so if you do not do 100-150 docs an hour, you can get dismissed. People have been let go for not coding the way they want. Of course it is often a judgment call.
Oh and if you complain or otherwise raise grievances about the ridiculous cell phone policy, you will get a call from your agency.
With that said, I would still like to have Danielle in stirrups wearing nothing but open toed strappy heels, and perhaps a vibrator and a speculum. YUMMERS!
1054
so, does it work like a normal agency in terms of working on a project for a while, project ends, your out of work until the next project comes up?
whats the pay like? would you recommend them vs. a normal agency like strategic or whoever?
Edit 10:57--I meant to write they charge by the document. Obviously this is absurd. If you come across the a significant number of substantive documents, you speed will decrease.
1057-
so discover ready doesnt directly hire the reviewers?
10:58 Strategic recruits for them. They pay 40 an hr, but perhaps it was reduced given how rates have gone down. Usually there is a cap at 40 hrs per week. Take it if that is the only game in town offered to you. just watch your back.
seems like normal rates have dropped down to about 29 from what i've seen, kind of sad but there does seem to be more work than there was about 2 months ago...a little more.
Discover Ready is ok...if they like you they will keep you employed as long as possible.
Any update legal gigs going on?
Let's destroy the illusion that these are the only projects going on. There are still good projects in NYC for A listers at Big Dog agencies like Hudson. The key is to make yourselves A listers.
I just came off a $37p/h project in Manhattan that lasted a good while and no fucking Bloombergs or DiscoverReadys to ruin the party.
I have friends working on a nice Hudson project on Lex that's been going on for a while, with nice pay.
Stay optimistic and if you're offered to jump on one of these mentioned projects, tell them to fuck off.
So, theres nothing at S&C, Paul Weiss, Weil right now?
Chumps, Strategic sends their A listers to Discover Ready because so many people get canned for not doing 800 plus documents in an 8 hour day. . ..
I live in a small city in Apallachia, pop. 150,000, and theres lots of prodgects going on hear. Three prodgects going on right now at my agency, all pays $32 and hour. ALl of us have to has J.D."S to do the prodgect and wheave been workging for like 9 mothns. It intails privaladge and ediscoery.
Oh sure, "A-Listers"! Anyone who believes in that idiocy is delusional. Clique listers is more like it. For instance, Hudson has compete whackos it keeps hiring for its here one second gone the next crap. And that is the norm. The idiots who claim to be A-Listers are just playing with themselves if they think anyone actually thinks they are picked because they are amazing doc review talents. They talk and stuff their faces, bulk code, and disappear for meetings to try and get anyone they don't like fired but they they keep getting called back because it is all about who the children who run theses things like.
Hudson is an abomination and should be shut down.
It's not that these places weren't doing this before, but they are coming to light now now, moreso, due to the fact that most of the work has been outsourced.
It's a cryin' shame!
I hear one agency was hiring for a gig that lasted three seconds... they wanted one attorney to review one document, and the pay was $5.75 for the whole gig.
They had 7,800 applications and the competition was fierce. A "civil disturbance" broke out in front of their offices, and they had to call in SWAT teams from as far away as La Guardia Airport to put it down with fire hoses and tasers. Three people died, and 17 were hospitalized.
I forgot to mention that in the middle of that doc review project, the attorney was laid off at the 1.27 second mark. His pay was pro-rated.
When he was reviewing the document, the team leader saw that he was going to click that the document was relevant, and pulled the document away from him. They passed it to a paralegal and told the paralegal it was relevant, and told him to click. Then the paid the paralegal for .4 of a second at the normal paralegal rate.
How about Huron? How did their dastardly deeds escape mention? The Huron Witch is waiting to soil a new batch of recruits.
How is the Bag-o-Gasso project coming along? Anyone been hired on staff yet?
I really never thought I'd be here like this now.
The earlier poster was correct that if this were France or basically any other western country there would be rioting in the streets over this lack of jobs for people that went on for higher education and are left with nothing but debt. And the inability to find interim work because of the prevalence of hiring immigrants to do jobs Americans once held. Let me state that is not racist, but just true. We are pathetic for letting this become our American dream.
Do they still have paupers graves for I will need one soon and lack the funds for a burial.
50% of the law schools should be shuttered, 50% of the current crop of jd'S should be working at mcdonalds from what I have seen (not a bad gig as you get benefits, free food and can earn over 40k a year if you get into management......which is better than the entry level attorney jobs we are seeing poster).
Should been a cop, electrician, locksmith, hairdresser, butcher or a doorman.
hey anything up at Hudson now?
BTW- why do some firms want to 'interview' you for a doc review project? What's the point of this? Do they intend to ask you about your life goals in the wonderful world of mouse clicking?
10:26,
They are stil there. Alex still has a penschant for skinny women and does not iron his shirts. Clovis still looks like a 40 (er...45) year old virgin.
OSWALD - Outsourcing Steals Work from American Lawyers Daily.
Someone on here said he was going to contact Alex's wife re suspected infidelities. Did this ever happen?
Clovester is not a virgin. Word had it that he banged some fat broad who fancied herself a Gucci momma. I shudder at the thought of it.
Does Clovis still have the same catch-phrase, "Hey guys, whatz goin' on?" What a little bitch! I remember how he fancied himself a huge football fan. I wanted to ask him if ever played the game.
now bloomberg has blocked our access to this site. i'm lovin' it.
Quoted for the Bloomberg gig... I've made it in the world now :)
Working for an outsourcing sweatshop like Bag-O-gasso or DiscoverReady is the absolute worst. They want you to code 1,000 documents an hour with a blindfold on while standing on your head. When mistakes are made (which they inevitably will be), they grandstand in front of the client with their QC corrections and make you look like a moron.
The absolute worst though is Bloomberg. $20 an hour for a fucking attorney?
One of these days, a temp lawyer is going to cave in the face of one of these wannabe big law staff lawyers/agency cunts.
It will be a sad but appropriate fate. You treat people like shit and it karma is gonna getcha...
I think a lot of the biglaw phonies have alreay been dealt their karma blow, but it is a cushy blow.
Posts like this are why everyone trolls on this site and hates most of you. no one cares that you make less then a garbage man and think you deserve more. no one is entitled to anything no matter what they claim law school told them.
If you hate us so much, why bother to troll? Get a fucking life you slack jawed monkey.
If you hate this so much, maybe you should all have studied harder in law school.
- S&C Ghetto Asian
I'm entitled to more than doc review, I just need to network more, that's what Joan King told me to do.
MAJOR LOL LOL LOL The 45 Yr Old Virgin --- that is the funniest thing I have read on this blog ahhahahhahhahhahahahhaha That balloonish Femme hahahhahahhaha
oh, and as for Scrappy Gallard - - - -well, that is a constant LOL hahahhahahahha silly diluted "teent tiny" boy hahahahahhahahaha PATHETIC
I am an unemployed lawyer who graduated from a TTT law school three years ago, with $170,000 in debt, now pushing a mop at McDonald's. They won't even let me operate the cash registers because they don't trust me with money. My FICO score is like a 6. No, not 600. Six.
I heard Delta Airlines is bringing all its call center type work BACK from India!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have any $ to fly (which none of us probably do) keep that in mind and supprt the company that supports Americans.
Why are you demeaning to NY garabage men? They provide more benefit to society than you clickers, for sure.
Hey guys, whatz goin' on?
Clovis playing football? yeah right! Not unless the QB is lobbing twinkies, I can picture Clovis on the field trying to catch them with an open mouth.
Would be fun to lay the smackdown on that fat French-Kosher dumpling, just as the twinkie football lands in his mouth. BOOM!
When I was at Barrasshole, they never made us shut down the computers during the break. The rest is mostly true. The money's certainly lower than they used to pay, but overall the people aren't so bad.
Just stay away from the doofy large guy who oogles the women or the angry, red-faced, acne-scarred ivy leaguer and you should be mostly ok. A lot of the other managers are nice people who aren't that difficult to deal with as long as you do your job.
Barrashole never used to make us shut down the computers, though. That's new.
click...click..click... print.. print.. budget here seems ok for another month..
click..click.. exhausted today..click.. click.. click..
played the role of real lawyer today somewhere else.. click..click.. document reviewer/lawyer... click..click.. that was not mentioned by my law school during the admission process..click..click..
espresso kicking in..
Is "S&C ghetto asian" who I think it is?
Is it the same person who thought that a co-worker would make a good mistress,
and that it would be especially prudent to take said mistress on a vacation/tryst,
and that himself and said mistress would mix well with a bikini and a camera,
and that a few pics of said mistress + said bikini + his kid (LOL!!!) should be thrown in for good measure,
and that pics from said adulterous incident would mix well with...the internet??
Is he the "ghetto asian"???
LOLLOLOLOLLOL@ that guy
3:08- So it's not true that they fired anyone who had to go to the bathroom for more than 5 minutes?
Not that I noticed - better to keep quiet.
Isn't the term, "Torture Chamber" just a wee bit strong? Since when did we all be come so hypersensitive? They are paying you sods after all. How do you expect to be treated, like staff and partner track attorneys?
now i know why there are no projects...the nurses are doing them all:
Midsized NYC firm seeks nurse paralegals for 1-2 month project. This project will involve a medical records document review. Candidates should have a minimum of 5 years clinical RN experience. This project is starting next week and is paying top rates.
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/lgl/1136686405.html
Did anyone also get the confidentiality agreement reminder in the mail from Bloomberg? Hysterical. Guess they are tired of all the negative publicity they are receiving.
7:11- Apparently, you never heard the terms sarcasm and hypebole before.
When people's lives become increasingly desperate, with nothing to lose, I wonder how long it take before goes postal. . ..
Joan King says you just have to network. Try it. You will be clicking in no time. Biglaw partners just love it when you show up at their Greenwich homes on the weekend with a resume on hand.
8:07 - Yes, I've heard of these terms, silly. However, they are misapplied here.
Grotesque overstatement is perhaps the correct term.
Doesn't sound like hyperbole to me. When you have been unemployed for half a year and you are about to be evicted from your apartment and you get shitcanned on the third day of your temp gig because your bus got stuck in traffic and you were 5 minutes late to work that is torture.
8:38-
sounds good- I'll try that.
Maybe I smoked marijuana through law school, but I don't like getting locked out of my computer and asked not to return on a project again. Fuck those assholes.
Eventually someone will go Codal on Alex Gallard. They will cart him off in his wrinkled shirt. I hope I am on the project it happens on. Watching him get bitch slapped will be amusing.
10:04 That's the spirt. Let the hatred flow through you.
Last night was way funnier hehehhehe Tonight,,,, boringgggggg
Butta, is that you hahahhaha
give S&C ghettoasian a break, he went to Cooley, do you expect him to actually make smart decisions?
Who is the ghettoasian? Is he "friends" with that Gaylord and teh 45 Year Old Virgin? If it is who I think it might be, isn't he an eskimo? How about that over-sized Fred Flintstone looking flubber who follows those dillusional misfits from dungeon hole to dungeon hole? LOL
Au contraire. Word has it that Clovis is not a virgin. Namely, the rumor was that he banged some ugly fat bitch who thought herself a Gucci Mamma.
I will say that Clovester was certainly a bungboy to many an associate, at least FIGURATIVELY speaking.
Ever notice how he basically wears the same thing everyday, just the color of his wrinkled Ralph Lauren shirts changes. There should be an animated parody of ol' Clovester, featuring coding drones sitting about, as Clovester walks around, each time the color of his shirt changes. Sometimes he would come out with a tape gun in hamd, other times to make an announcement. Maybe he could even do a variety show, live from templand. He would come out from the boxes, looking his slovenly self, greeting the audience with his line, "Hey guyz, whatz going on," replete with his near Sylvester the Cat droll. Between each segment, a theme jingle featuring heavy use of horns would be heard, as he downs yet another chocolate candy bar. Bum, bum bum-bum-bum, bum bum bum-bum-bumm, bum bum bum-bum-bum, BWAM!
Is Fred Flintstone none other than Mark Marker?
These people are petty and despicable, not to mention an irrefutable indictment of this shit profession.
Hahahahhahaha Oversized Fred. That is so funny. apparently, these clowns make up the Gaylord fan club. He must be so proud. king of the boxes, head of the shit holes and then let's not minimize the wonder of his over fleshed troops Hahahahahhahhahaha. And, seriously, someone married his tiny thing. No way!!!
Someone should really follow up on the aforementioned idea of a cartoon centered around that 45 year old virgin with the other loser analyst as supporting characters. Gaylord represented by a long skinny rat, the Ghettoasian by short fat bull dog, MM (Fred) definitely by a an hippopotamous, and the STAR by a big dumppy platypus with the one shirt of MANY COLORS.LOL
No animals, caricatures of them as they are. . ..
9:50
Ghettoasian is
Mark Wattaba-something, the meathead guy always wearing the pastel colored shirts and following Tracey Jordan around like he's on a leash.
Haha Mark/ghettoasian
biggest
chigger
ever
lol, hes a complete disgrace to decent and smart asian staff attorneys (of which S&C has a few).
He is a fuckin'g ESKIMO... no wonder the loser oxymoronic republican analyst like him hahaahhahhahha Palin hahahahhahhaha
Oh, and Clovis a sa Duck billed platypus is PERFECT hahahhahahhahahhahhhaha and mark marker as teh big fat Hippo even better hahhahahhahhahhahhaa
Oh, and Clovis a sa Duck billed platypus is PERFECT hahahhahahhahahhahhhaha and mark marker as teh big fat Hippo even better hahhahahhahhahhahhaa
What is a Chigger?
Marker certainly is a hippo follower. a bi dumb on eat that as Gaylord is as ridiculouslous as they come. Word is he married for money, and taht is why he cheats. Who the fuck would marry a weasel doodoo fast insecure analyst who has a child sized ding dong? She MUST be dog dooo, BIGTIME!!!!
Tracy is a puffy faced phony fat piggily wiggily husband stealing CHEESEY whore who is probably the dumbest analyst at Sullivan, and BELIEVE ME, that is saying A LOT. a whole big pile. What is Whatchamacallhisfuckinstupidname's problem? Could it be that he has a super baby pecker like his dweeby box dwelling leader Gaylord?
Tracy is a puffy faced phony fat piggily wiggily husband stealing CHEESEY whore who is probably the dumbest analyst at Sullivan, and BELIEVE ME, that is saying A LOT. a whole big pile. What is Whatchamacallhisfuckinstupidname's problem? Could it be that he has a super baby pecker like his dweeby box dwelling leader Gaylord?
Who are these analyst freaks? Haven't slaved at that smelly joint in years. Are they higher than SALAs? Surely, no one could be lower. SALA = Severely Assified Loser Aptitudeless fuckUPS.
No way did Clovis ever get it on with any human, fat or otherwise. Maybe a goat? Poor poor goat..... traumatized forever. Platypus is a great image for that fat sloppy usless major Alex suckup twinkee swallowing dump of a nothing.
Chigger = asian wigger
you havent seen anything until you've heard an asian lawyer talking "hood" and dropping the n-word left and right. He's a real piece of work to say the least!
Cmon guyz--let's keep this laugh train rolling, at little bitch Clovester's and Alex's expense.
I haven't seen those box dwelling cads in a while. Oh poo someone else??????
They are still lurkin'
Vote on the best new nickname for Alex:
1. Alex Gay-lard
2. Alex Gay-lord
3. Alexander J. Gay-lord
4. Jose the dork
5. Shitfaced twerp
Vote!!! The best name sticks like Alex's nose to the ass end of an associate!
Or like Clovis's sticky fingers to food left in the fridge! No snack is safe with that fat grubber around!!!!!
3. Alexander J. Gay-lord
6. FaGallard
Does Clovis ever shower?
PU Stinky GaYLARD's MAJOR kiss butt Silly Putty useless HIGHLY Overpaid UNDER productive No Sex LOSER 45 Yrs Old SuperFuggly Bloated VIRGIN.. PU FuCCCCckin''' U
I highly doubt that odorful frealoid does, and even has evr done eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I highly doubt that odorful frealoid does, and even has evr done eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
With all the money he makes sleeping at night youd think he could purchase a bar of ivory.maybe Gaylard can give him a good scrubbin
I vote for Alex Gayllard as the name.
Fuck you asshole~!
Yes, Kenyon & Kenyon where a 20-something paralegal is trying to humiliate middle-aged attorneys and if you say something or try to complain to higher-up the next day you get a call from the agency informing you that they do not need you anymore.
RH doesn't even bother to check to see whether or not the people on the "firing" list from Bloomberg actually work there.
A friend of mine got fired, but never accepted the job.
As for me, I got "fired" 3 weeks after leaving for a permanent job.
Totes professional, RH. Totes.
First time I've seen this... If nothing else, one thing's certain: you can get your share of laughs doing document review.
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