Tuesday, December 11, 2007

An Update Legal Christmas




12/14/07- Is a Temp Attorney walkout viable? The Viacom "permalancers" pulled one off last week. Discuss.


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From the comments section:

"Just in time for the holidays, Update Legal decides to Scrooge us over.

Late last night, an overly cheery Update Legal staffer calls us to tell us that we will receive a retroactive raise to $40 an hour plus OT. Our first thought was, Sweet! Many of us had worked well over 3000 hours on the year meeting deadline after deadline. Some of us had put in over 6000 hours over two years. So, we figured we were overdue for a raise. But knowing how everything in Tempworld is the opposite of what it might seem, we kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sure enough, this morning, Maria and Will come by to report that there is no raise and that all caps on hours remain the same.

Maria apologized for Update's error -- even though she clearly had nothing to do with it. She even said she would look into getting us a free lunch. Maria is total class -- she's about the only woman who could give Jackie O a run for her money in that department.

But for Update, this is just completely unprofessional. There is no excuse for this! On Friday night the Update Legal crew was laughing it up in their fake tans and white sundresses getting "low" to Crank that Soldja Boy. Today, they they show us how low they can really go."

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ho, ho, ho! I hope everyone had a merry time.

Anonymous said...

HA HA HA HA, We are now up to $160K, and there is talk that we will be bumped up to $190K! On the whole, the average contract attorney wage has been stuck at $35 for the past 3 years. When you take inflation into account, you are actually making LESS everyday. How does it feel?

Anonymous said...

Not only does 12:54 play the "recruiter" on here, but he/she also plays the "associate"!

Keep it up, 12:54 - you're actually helping us demonstrate what arrogant pieces of shit both the agencies and most of the associates are.

What better way than "straight from the horse's mouth?"

Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Who cares if a bunch of UNEMPLOYABLES calls us arrogant?!

Keep calling them agencies asking for the cars and meals we get. HA!

Again, we will make sure your asses leave at 8:29. More money for us! Don't you just loooove our extra bonuses? What did you get this holiday season??

I thought so. Enjoy your Lex party. We'll call for more temps soon-- I think our toilets are overflowing and we need your help!

Anonymous said...

Typing random comments might make a difference, but if the temps n NYC really want to send a message, you guys have to actually take some type of action.

The "permalancers" at MTV networks protested their treatment by walking off their jobs Monday afternoon and rallying at Viacom HQ. They've held rallies three straight days.

I know the temps in the law firm world are different, but if you want to be heard, you need to do more than complain online.

The only suggestion I have is to organize a sick-out. On one specific day, if large amounts of people call in sick in the morning, and then another group of people leave work early saying they're sick, the absences will be felt. Of course, there needs to be a critical mass in order for this to work, and I have no idea how to do it. But perhaps Tom the temp or some other more active people can. And it might be hard to keep the day secret from the temp agencies. But pick a day, and do something. Like the Ron Paulites picked Nov. 5 to simultaneously donate so that the one day donation total was artificially spiked. ("remember the 5th of November") Pick a day for all temps to be "sick." If you can even get half the temps to do it, it'll be a solid showing.

ANd if you refuse to miss even one day or one half day of work, then you are never going to better your situation or the situation of your peers. As long as there is critical mass, you shouldn't have to worry about being fired for missing one day.

Anonymous said...

oh my god- if you clickers have yourselves a "walk-out", we will have the best laughs of our lives.

Please do it! It gets quiet around holiday time and we could use the drama.

And don't think work won't go on without you. My firm won't give shit. We will just have to do the boring ass work (at 500x the billable rate as the mentally challenged temps).

Once you have proven yourselves to be even more unrealiable than you already are, we will just hasten our long standing efforts to move the doc review/clicking work to India.

What are you morons going to do then? Blog for a living? HAHAHAHAHA.

Anonymous said...

Nice try.

Law firms aren't pushing outsourcing, companies are. Get back to sucking your partner's dick, you clueless 1st year associate, or agency hack.

Doc. Review creates leverage. Unlike the bullshitting that many associates do (pushing out 2 boiler ass plate motions and wanting to bill 100 hours for it), doc. review work is easy to verify and bill for. It's harder to slash these kind of bills. So, what we temp attorneys are doing is helping to subsidize the dysfunction and incompetence of overpaid 1st and 2nd year associates. WALK OUT, NOW!

I suggest we pick a day. February 2nd? I suggest we specifically fuck with Lex-Pollution. Everyone should walk off their projects and shut Dickhead Osman, Krowshitz, and Moo Moo Nora DOWN! Next, we go after Frankendine.

Anonymous said...

I think it is a long overdue idea, one that could be effective, especially in those places know for their sweatshop conditions. Most of the temp chair jockeys will too afraid to support their fellow temps, for they are too scared and browbeaten by the blood sucking agency whores and the dismissive law firm staff.

The true goal should be to quit and never go back to that hideous, sub-human work. Let them ship the monkey work to India or where ever they like. It's amazing that it can't be done by computer now anyway...

Anonymous said...

Instead of walking out, why don't we have a walk in? Why not storm the "Lex-Plantation", or one of the other really bad sweatshops, or a toilet like NYLS? I am sure something like that would get a lot of attention in the legal media.

Anonymous said...

What if we steal Nora Moo Moo's food, or snatch away one of Eileen's Louis Vitton handbags. That is when the war will really begin.

The Black Sheep said...

Hey, I am all for some organization if it will improve the sweatshop like conditions. I am pretty sure that unionization is possible, and the benefit is that we could improve salary and conditions, and it might also give us with a voice to prevent certain jobs from going overseas. But how long will a union last with new and desperate sheep graduating law school every year. A show of strength would need to happen soon. I would like to try and get Philadelphia more organized, and to that end I have started a blog like TomTheTemps in Philly. It can be found at:

http://blacksheepcontractatty.blogspot.com/

Incidentally, I have heard that organizers of unions are theoretically protected on the job. Anyone know if there is any truth to that?

Also, the overseas thing that everyone talks about is at least a little smoke and mirrors. They have already begun to and in many cases do off-shore factual coding (haven't you noticed the tags on your documents listing names). It used to be done by non-lawyers like college students and paralegal types. Now it is usually off-shored or simply scanned for by computer programs. They need lawyers because of tabs that must be clicked "legally" relevant, and "legally" privileged. This means you need a U.S. Law Degree and an understanding of U.S. evidence rules.

Anonymous said...

Two thoughts:

- as for the timing of this thing, it might be ideal at the beginning of March. The comment about new law graduates is important, and you'd have to time it so that you'd have at least a month of buffer before the winter bar exam results come out. So whenever it's scheduled to come out, do it at least a month prior, so that the agencies can't just grab newbies immediately. If enough people walk out, you know the first year associates at the law firms are going to grumble about having to do "lowly" doc review themselves.

- if there is some kind of walk-out, there are going to have to be actual rallies outside the temp offices. it doesn't matter if the rallies aren't huge, but they have to exist. And the pr battle has to be planned out carefully. temps can't be seen as just greedy people who want more money. they need to point out some of the horrific conditions (i.e. not enough bathrooms or restriction of bathroom breaks.) even above that, if it's just about wages, the temps need to learn a lesson from the writers' strike and frame it so that the people understand that the temps are fighting a battle against agencies/law firms that are exponentially greedy and that the temps just want their fair share (or at least a fairer share).

Anonymous said...

Fuck you 9:22 P.M. I hope you're diagnosed with inoperable cancer of the bowels for Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Some type of demonstration/walk-out would be good.

Since the WSJ has already run articles on the dismal state of the job market for lawyers, I think they'd be interested in the story. The NY Times might also be interested. The legal trades would be intersted, given that they've mentioned this blog a few times already in articles.

Press coverage is key...

Anonymous said...

Yes, 7:17 - press coverage is key.

With all the freaks and weirdos on these projects, the Weekly World News will also be interested in the story when the picketing starts.

I can just see the headline now:

"CIRCUS SIDESHOW WORKERS STRIKE FOR A SHARE OF THE CONCESSION PROFITS."

Maybe there will also be a Batboy sighting.

Temps strike? C'mon - sad to say, but most are too wimpy to take a stand for anything. But, more importantly, they need the money to pay their bills. Are you planning on creating a 'union strike fund', too?

Anonymous said...

You strike and they will start out sourcing (This was actually suggested by a staff attorney at a project I was on). It's really easy to piss and moan about the conditions of temping, but it beats no job a lot of the time. Focus on changing the basic problems, like unprofessional treatment, and give the meal/car service/internet entitlement bullshit a rest.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

You strike and they will start out sourcing

They've started outsourcing anyway, and will continue to do so regardless of how meek and passive lawyers here continue to be.

The reality is they need contract attorneys as much if not more than contract attorneys need them. Attorneys will either take some risks to leverage that need into the working conditions and compensation they want, or all of this complaining IS worthless.

Anonymous said...

Go ahead and call their bluff. Once the outsourcing of document reivew or other "attorney work" occurs, then the guilded associates will have to start worrying about their jobs too.

The firms and agencies have a vested interest in keeping the contract attorneys docile and slapped down, because they are all getting fat and rich off us. We're the ones doing the work.

Any firm that outsources attorney work to India will run the risk of ethical violations and major security risks.

Anonymous said...

They already run those risks. And we all know that relevace review does not require any legal knowledge what so ever.

Anonymous said...

while a good idea, it'll NEVER happen. the back-stabbing competitive nature of the industry and the immediate need for money outweighs any chance this would happen.

as for the associate rant...when the defamation lawsuit proceeds and your url link is produced, i'll be the first to show up at your firm and take a bat to your fkin skull, chooch.

Anonymous said...

9:37 - what does a staff attorney know about a firm's plans for outsourcing in the case of a temp strike? Staff attorneys are one step above the gutter. You make it sound like the staff attorney you mention is part of the firm's leadership.

Be a little more selective in who you get information from.

Anonymous said...

"we all know that relevace review does not require any legal knowledge what so ever."

Then why do firms hire lawyers to do it?

Anonymous said...

I have worked on projects where they hire unadmitted JDs and paralegals to do it. In fact, most small firms and public interest firms have their paras do it anyway

Anonymous said...

2:14 it really depends on which firm you are talking about.

Anonymous said...

Great, it doesn't make your threats any less idle. I bet the agencies have been wondering for years why the docile sheep haven't woken up yet.

It's amazing when you see the massive international corporations that own the temp agencies. You don't think they would allow their own actual employees to work under those conditions, do you? Why is it that they allow their "employees" who work as temp in large firms to work in substandard conditions?

A sick out will help bring to light many of these horrific sweatshops. Ok, yeah, move it India, blah, blah, blah. The Indian attorneys have far nicer workspaces and jobs that are more permanent in nature. They wouldn't let their professional class be treated like this. So go ahead, move it to India.

At least then all of these NYC agency leeches will have to move to Bangalore or switch jobs.

Anonymous said...

"when the defamation lawsuit proceeds"

Hilarious!! And let's see... what would the damages be for a temporary slave/doc reviewer?

Loss of economic opportunity? You obviously have that down pat all on your lonesome.

Public humiliation? Being unable to get a job years and years after law school with no hope in sight? Check!

Anonymous said...

http://legallyours.blogspot.com/

More musings from the Indian TTT counterpart, although Jindal seems a bit happier with times booming in India. He's laughing in the face of NYC attorneys....

Is Evelyn ready to move to Bangalore? Are the Update girls updating their passports?

Anonymous said...

When's the bullshit "strike"?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

My instinct says a strike isn't viable because of the docility, fear, and general wimpy-ness of the majority of temps. Sad to say, but most deserve to remain slaves.

But, if there's any chance for a strike to work out favorably, the press must be alerted to the issues and grievances that are behind the strike. What are these issues exactly?

1) Stagnating pay rates, while the salaries of associates and parners flies through the roof (or at least at pace with increases in the cost of living);

2) Lousy, super-expensive health benefits, with no agency contribution (hey - they're making a fortune off of temp labor. They should bear some of the responsibility of insuring their moneymakers);

3) Lousy 401k plans.

These are a starting point.

Anonymous said...

9:22, stop fooling around with the office computer and start the close down of the store...and we have a spill on aisle three I thought you were cleaning up. $190,000, my supervisor ass!

Anonymous said...

who wants to bet the "sick out" will be as successful as the million man march??

Anonymous said...

Yawn, just another bitter troublemaker. I'm starting to think that you are one of the Inida outsource people trying to cause trouble between the temps and their agencies. You do understand the law of tortious interference or don't they teach you that in India?

Anonymous said...

Go back to your "war", retard. Or maybe return to your high school bathroom and write your comments on the toilet walls.

Your words are better suited there- along with the rest of what your bullshit "army" has to say.

I believe the KISS army is more threatening.

Anonymous said...

11:42 - how about the KISS MY ASS army?

Anonymous said...

12:50, let's see what happens on the day of your "sick out" when all 2 of you morons are the only ones to show up.

We'll see who's begging whom for a job, then. Go get your fatigues before they sell out. HAHAHHA!!

Anonymous said...

No, 2:50. I'm going to dress as Gene Simmons. But instead of spitting blood or breathing fire, I'm going to projectile vomit on everyone who crosses the picket line.

Anonymous said...

See exhibit A- above, 8:28.

Any wonder why the firms and agencies think and treat us like pieces of shit? Thank that guy for perpetuating the concept that we are unprofessional animals.

Anonymous said...

The firms that bill us out at attorney rates, and stick us in basements, while paying us like paralegals are the true unprofessional animals.

Anonymous said...

4:05, YUP- we got you and you KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE!!

Thanks for being our slaves.

Anonymous said...

Actually the good workers don't "keep coming back". We move on get real jobs and leave you with the unemployable dregs. So have fun trying to get the Nigerian attorneys to be honest with their billing, have fun milking the unemployable wretches pouring out of the third world law sesspools and 4th tier US Toilets....even they are more intelligent than you.

You are are a talentless carcass, being propped up by the hard work of these people, so start showing some respect! We want our free movie tickets and bottles of sparkling cider...lol.

Get back on the phone and start making phone calls to find more wretch attorneys to place on your next bs project! Mush phone jockey! mush!

Anonymous said...

Look what 11:47 is calling you, Tom- an "unemployable dreg". And you wonder why you guys can't unionize.

"We move on get real jobs and leave you with the unemployable dregs."

Anonymous said...

6:50 - You better start being nice to Tom and the others, they are paying your salary, you talentless chimp.

Maybe more firms will start hiring attorneys directly, when they realize how truly useless and nasty you are.

Anonymous said...

8:00- please, do tell us of your CLICKING talents, o' great one!!

One can only wish for an eternity clicking for relevance....

Anonymous said...

How would you know? I don't think you even know what relevance menas.
With your associates degree you'll never have a crack at any of these documents.

Back to making calls, phone jockey! Quick your boss is watching, you need to make more calls! Find a new project to place the temps on! No bonus for you!

Anonymous said...

menas?

This blog is past its prime...

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Anonymous said...

'relevance menas' RULZ!!

Anonymous said...

How about a SUCK MY DICK ARMY! Something you can really get behind!

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know if we are still going to strike? Me and my developmentally challenged clicker colleagues want to know.

Also, is storming the agencies still the plan? I hope we are still going to "organize".

Anonymous said...

A SUCK MY DICK OSMAN ARMY?

Anonymous said...

12:29=typical temp

Anonymous said...

hey, any guys have experience banging any update recruiters? which are easiest, best at it?

anyone screwed anyone at an agency?

Anonymous said...

Update Legal is the worst. I'm not sure how it is in other cities, but their people were mainstays outside the MA bar exam handing out their literature and begging kids to use them to find temp work. Like a lot of kids deferred until January, I fell for their line. I interviewed with UL the day after the MA bar ended, and was told I would be placed within two weeks. Two weeks became three ... three became four. Finally, on the fifth week, I get a call about a 3 month contract job. This was perfect, I thought -- I could work for 3 months, take a couple week off, and begin my full-time gig. After gladly accepting UL's proposal and even setting up a meeting for the following morning, UL called back and said they had made a mistake. There was no contract. There was no job. I waited another two weeks to be placed. Finally I went out and found my own job.

Update Legal is a waste of time. They bed kids to come to them a look for temp work when there is little to no work to be had. They gaurantee immediate placement, but fail to follow through. They get your hopes up, only to let you down.