Sunday, December 09, 2007

Ms. Pig



Apparently, all of this talk about the grand, stately "Lex-Plantation" at 16 E. 40th Street, 10th Floor is driving all of the other bloodsucking temp agencies green with envy. De Novo's Evelyn (Ms. Pig) just put out her very own desperate plea, calling all gulag overseers to help her expand her rapidly growing network of deteriorating sweatshops:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/lgl/502026527.html

Take that Krowshitz! Maybe Evelyn will spark a bidding war, and successfully lure "Aunt Tom Kim Powe" and "Debbie - Sharp Knife In Your Back" away from Lex-Pollution. Only time will tell.

While she's at it, Evelyn should also look into starting a partnership with Jack Zaremski, president of Hanover Legal Personnel Services, who was recently quoted in an article stating that, "there are plenty of attorneys who are happy to accept very low-level, mind-numbing positions doing whatever's at the bottom of the barrel." http://www.nysun.com/article/67423?page_no=1

That's exactly who we need running one of these dangerous, miserable, cockroach infested sweatshops: someone who actually believes that slaves are somehow "content" with working 12 hours a day in miserable, benefitless, dead end temp jobs. Evelyn, make the call!

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

You notice that De Novo's not hiring any of their doc review unotuchables for these positions.....they want big firm perm employees...yet another depressing particpant in the economic sharecropping of attorneys.

Anonymous said...

Slave Revolt, NOW!

Anonymous said...

I have a simple question. If Aunt Tom does all the recruiting, screening, interviewing, emails, troubleshooting, what exactly does Krowitz, Osman, and Moo Moo Nora do all day? Maybe I am wrong, but I thought you actually had to engage in work to get paid?

Anonymous said...

If you think "someone needs to engage in work to get paid", you'd have a hard time explaining why contract "attorneys" get a nickel.

Pointing and clicking does not a day of *work*. Maybe you think stealing leftover catered food from law firm conference rooms is work??

Animals.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

if a temp attorney works 12 hour days then they get $160k a year same as big law, we were discussing this in jdjive

Anonymous said...

Not really - things you don't get that an associate gets:

1) reasaonbly priced benefits
2) CLE coverage
3) A shot of advancing your career (either in-house or partner at firm). Even when associates lose their jobs, they can find work in-house or in boutique firms. These jobs are not available to doc reviewers.
4) Interesting work
5) Steady reliable paycheck - many temp jobs last only 1-2 weeks, others 1-2 months. You have huge gaps in employment.
6) No office (doc review gets a chair next to a random person).
7) Weekly pay, not salary. You will get $160k only in "perfect storm" of temp jobs and if you have the stamina to pull 70-80 hour weeks one after the next. Most people go insane (not kidding) and burn out after 2-3 weeks of this.

In sum, it's not doable except in the best of temp circumstances. More realistic pay, expecially for 1st year doc review clicker is $50,000 - 60,000 if you are lucky and have steady work. Doc review is not a career, you get no transferrable skills and are just a fungible part, readily replaced by the next barred warm body. People have respect for those who made it to biglaw associates, and nothing but contempt for document reviewers.

If you must do it, do it only once or be prepared to start seeking out non-law or lowering paying gigs that offer experience. If you have a lot of debt, you may have no choice but to become a click slave.

Anonymous said...

Based on that NY Sun article, Evelyn and her ilk must be licking their chops, for up ahead is an endless supply of grist for the temp mills. All of those poor, money starved newly minted attorneys, ready to fall over the cliff like lemmings...sad, a law degree used to mean something....

Anonymous said...

The ABA is opening new law schools like there is no tomorrow. SUNY Binghamton is next in N.Y., and I think California is going to get another 3. It's a scandal that these schools are so expensive, and that many of them lie about career prospects in their literature to get students to attend.

Anonymous said...

Now that Evelyn from DeHovo knows the correct address of the Lexplantation (16 E. 40th Street, 10th floor), she can hire a plane to bomb the competition into oblivion by dropping Sandrene Ryan onto the building from 20,000 feet.

The force of impact would be approximately the equivilent of a "Daisy Cutter" bomb and take out most of the Garment District and cave in the 1 train tunnels some 200 feet below ground.

If we're lucky, the shockwaves will also cause massive structural damage as far as the Franken-Dine office on E. 57th Street and the ceiling will drop onto the heads of Shawn "RootRot" Treadwell, Carrie "Bride of Frankendine" Cheskin...

Of course, this will ingnite an all-out war between DeHovo and Lex-Pollution that would see Snot Krowshitz and Dickhead Osman dressing in Field Marshal uniforms and dropping Aunt Tom Kim Powe AND Nora Moo Moo onto DeHovo's new E-Discovery orfices. (With any luck, these orifices will be near Stepford Wives HQ at 1140 Avenue of the Americas, where some of the foulest orifices on Manhattan Isle are located...)

Anonymous said...

Maybe we should kidnap Sandrene, Aunt Tom, and Nora Moo Moo, rent a plane, and drop them one at a time on New York Law School, Brooklyn Law School, and Touro to stop the issuance of any more useless J.D.s from these Port-O-Potty dumps. ("Toilet" has become too elegant for them.)

Anonymous said...

Real mature. Loser.

Anonymous said...

Love it, 11:04.

Anonymous said...

Love it, 11:04.

Anonymous said...

I love how these morons complain and make fun of us and then BEG us for assignments.

Don't worry about it losers, we do hate your guts- but thanks, as always for financing our healthcare.

YOU da bomb!

Anonymous said...

Waahhhh!!! Where's my car home??!!

It's up my ass you retard temp clickers! Keep comparing yourselves to associates.

Keep making us laugh.

Anonymous said...

Do something decent and stop the ABA from accrediting toilet law schools. Then, maybe then, you might get some respect.

Anonymous said...

Keep it up, 1:50, and you might have a 300 pound Jamaican woman dropped from 20,000 feet on your cushy recruiter office.

That'll shut you up. Permanently.

Anonymous said...

Can't stop them, 2:54 - they have to keep creating jobs for the useless egghead academics who can't function in the real world.

Anonymous said...

7:05, be careful not to eat too many candy canes over xmas... don't want to get any cavities when you have no dental insurance.

Happy Holidays Clickers!

Anonymous said...

Just in time for the holidays, Update Legal decides to Scrooge us over.

Late last night, an overly cheery Update Legal staffer calls us to tell us that we will receive a retroactive to Nov. 1 raise to $40 an hour plus OT. Our first thought was, Sweet! Many of us had worked well over 3000 hours on the year meeting deadline after deadline. Some of us had put in over 6000 hours over two years. So, we figured we were overdue for a raise. But knowing how everything in Tempworld is the opposite of what it might seem, we kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sure enough, this morning, Ms. X comes by to report that there is no raise and that all caps on hours remain the same.

Ms. X apologized for Update's error -- even though she clearly had nothing to do with it. She even said she would look into getting us a free lunch. Ms. X is total class -- she's about the only woman who could give Jackie O a run for her money in that department.

But for Update, this is just completely unprofessional. There is no excuse for this! On Friday night the Update Legal crew was laughing it up in their fake tans and white sundresses getting "low" to Crank that Soldja Boy. Today, they they show us how low they really can go.

Anonymous said...

That's right- they will go low, pretending to give you raises and you have no choice but to bend over and take it.

Anonymous said...

Typical temp agency sucker punch...ka-blam! Just when you thought you might get a feel good, de facto Christmas bonus...Update figured they'd just keep it for themselves.

Anonymous said...

Tell us one good reason they SHOULDN'T keep it for themselves?

Are you going to stop working for them? NO.

Keep grabbin' ankle.

lucky said...

11:04, I spit out my water laughing...what an image! Best post here so far!

Anonymous said...

4:08- I like the image of you bending over for Update much better!

Anonymous said...

It's amazing the number of super-cool "perm" employees who have nothing better to do than hang out at the temporary attorney blog.

Get a life, Douchebags.

Anonymous said...

NO! We want to be like the super cool disposable, aka "temp" employees and learn about how BIG and POWERFUL it feels to say fcked up shit about people that you'd never say to their face.

And where's that ahole who claims to be "at war" with the recruiters and agencies? Where's that army?

Anonymous said...

So how does it feel to be cool, 10:02?

Prick.

Anonymous said...

10:46, I'll let you know how cool I feel once I start naming your pathetic, unemployed names, and making fun of your ugly acne scarred faces, pendulous man boobs, and hairy beer bellies.

I'm too busy watching my ass for that 'guerilla warfare' you "professional" attorneys promised me.... the best is yet to come.

Anonymous said...

It is war. It is guerilla war. Anyone that fucks with us temp attorneys will be tarred, feathered, and dragged out into the public square. Google some of the people mentioned on here and see what happens when you fuck with people who are just trying to make a living and put food on the table. It's karma baby!

Anonymous said...

So much bitter vitriol on this board, what a hateful industry, cluttered with talentless hacks....what is even more pathetic than a temp attorney is the two-faced, sleazebag flesh peddling legal temp agency whore...do they even require associates degrees for this work?

How does it feel to get screamed at by the partners at the law firms when your 25th psychotic, socially clueless temp attorney bills for the extra .25 of hour? I hope it makes your spiteful rantings worth it.

Not only do you hate the temp attorneys that keep your 85 IQ carcass employed, but you hate the law firms that scream at you and you obviously despise yourself. It must kill you that the temp attorneys you so gleefully mock outearn you by $50k a year.

You sad, ignorant phone jockey.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it totally kills us when you call in begging for jobs on Mondays.

It kills us that we have solid health insurance, 401ks MATCHED, and we know where our next meal is coming from.

Be careful!Don't chip your teeth on any roasted chesnuts this Christmas, lest you look like the temp attorney photographed a few entries below.

Party on!

Anonymous said...

btw- we LOVE the law firms!

They pay their bills on time, and in full. Something you wanna-be associates would love to do, but cannot.

Anonymous said...

Yes, you have health insurance and 401K NOW. Here today and gone tomorrow...it's a thin line between you, a cup and a story on the number six train.