Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

I want to wish everyone a happy and healthy Thanksgiving!

Snakes may sliver in and out of your professional and personal lives, but true friends and family are forever!


On a side note, check out what this spoiled 2nd year associate posted on the Abovethelaw blog. Spoiled, overpaid associates make me sick:

"I am now a second year doing
online doc review of the client's production. Really
didn't have to do much of this during my first year.
But is it natural for me to want to kill myself after
having only done 1-3 hours of it in a day? I want to
kill myself, but realize dinner is coming up soon, so
I've decided death now isn't necessarily a good idea
since I like to eat."

Try working in the cockroach infested Paul Weiss basement with 1/5th the pay, for 14 hours a day.


Anonymous said...

But he's an important attorney, document review is beneath him. Why cant they just unload it on some worthless temp reviewer.

Document review isnt for someone as amazing as him. Its for people who ranked in the top 70% of some no name law school because they didnt work hard enough to score as highly as he did. As he worked real hard and got into harvard law or somewhere and ranked in the top 15%, he earned the right to look down on those pitiful temps.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Since most of you are in the field and have more information than I do maybe you guys can pass this on to Shawn Treadwell's boss. You are right when you say that he'll fuck you through the ass to make a couple of bucks. But what you don't know is that he pays for a piece of ass and when he's not doing that he's screwing his temps and his clients. How do you think he makes money off of you he sleeps with those big head honchos to make the good deals and then offers you the crap that is left over. He's a scum bag that is only out for himself. I'm surprised his bosses haven't figured out that the reason he's in the office on so late or on the weekend is because he's busy jerking off to porn or screwing one of his hookers bucause he's too cheap to pay for a room. And if anyone knows Shawn they'll know that he's a damn tight ass....please pass this on to anyone you know because he'll get you a job for a good fuck or blowjob whatever he's in te mood for that day. Not to mention that he's also ripping off Elaine Dine right under their noses. I'm telling you the man is only out for himself.

Anonymous said...

mr. almighty second year associate, who's really miserable, but can't quit law because identity, pride, and value is completely tied up to his profession..

sounds like a real A**hole. probably one of giuliani supporters. they tend to be a**holes. maybe a hillary supporter. he does seem like a little bitch. i just can't tell!!!

Anonymous said...

happy thanksgiving, losers.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, though ...

What else do they have to complain about??? They get great healthcare, retirement plans, on-the-job training, CLE reimbursements, annual reviews and bonues, gym memberships, free yoga classes, formal mentoring programs, $30K/yr bonuses ...

Anonymous said...


November 22, 2007
For Lawyers, Perks to Fit a Lifestyle
Even lawyers need a hug. When workdays stretch into worknights and the pressure to meet the quota for billable hours grows, lawyers and staff members at the firm of Perkins Coie can often expect a little bonus.

In Perkins Coie’s Chicago office, members of the firm’s “happiness committee” recently left candied apples on everyone’s desks. Last month, the happiness committee surprised lawyers, paralegals and assistants in the Washington office with milkshakes from a local Potbelly Sandwich Works, a favorite lunch spot.

“That’s the whole beauty of it all — it’s random acts of kindness,” said Lori Anger, client relations manager of Perkins Coie, which is based in Seattle. “We have pretty strict hours, so it’s a nice way to surprise people.”

The benefits for lawyers have burgeoned in recent years as firms pull out the stops to attract top-notch talent. While perks for the partners have always been common, many are now finding their way to associates — young lawyers who have not yet made partner.

And with those associates routinely jumping ship to go elsewhere, law firms are trying to create a workplace that caters to their young recruits’ wants and needs, while freeing them to bill 60 hours or more a week.

“We’re in a war for talent,” Gary Beu, chief human resources officer at the firm of Kirkland & Ellis, said, “and we have to do everything we can to attract and retain that talent.”

The benefits go beyond the laptops and BlackBerrys, late-night rides home, Friday beer-and-pretzel fests and sports tickets that are standard fare at many large and midsize law firms. Many of the new perks recognize a lifestyle change that law firms are just coming to grips with.

“Money is not the only thing that drives these lawyers right now,” said Marina Sirras, who runs a recruitment firm in New York for lawyers. “They want to be able to have a family and enjoy their family. This has never been as hot an issue.”

Law firms have been slower than some other businesses to award benefits, in part because of their smaller, and often complex, private structures.

On offer now are concierge services, in which a lawyer can have the equivalent of a personal valet pick up theater and sports tickets, the dry cleaning, take a car to the repair shop or even choose a Halloween costume.

“We compete in terms of having a life,” Ms. Anger said. “We don’t compete by dangling a lot of material perks.” Unusual in the industry, Perkins Coie offers pet insurance.

The perks come on top of higher salaries and larger bonuses — this year, the top-offs have been doubled at some practices. At the New York office of Cravath, Swaine & Moore, an old-line firm, associates will receive special payouts of $10,000 to $50,000, in addition to their year-end bonuses up to $35,000.

At the same time, law firms have begun demanding more from associates, raising minimum billable hours over the years.

To combat burnout, some firms also offer extended sabbaticals for a wide range of pursuits — to study classical piano, for instance, or work on political campaigns.

But while some of these benefits take the form of highly practical solutions — like on-site child care — others raise questions whether law firms are subsidizing a cushy lifestyle.

“As if a $160,000 starting salary wasn’t enough for associates” fresh out of law school, “yes, there’s more,” said Peter Johnson of Law Practice Consultants in Boston.

For example, Sullivan & Cromwell, another old-line firm, with more than 600 lawyers, guarantees the first $100,000 of mortgages of associates who have been with the firm for at least six months.

DLA Piper, the nation’s largest law firm, reimburses employees $2,000 when they buy a hybrid car. Fulbright & Jaworski offers on-site tailoring and reimbursements to employees who buy a Subaru, Nissan or General Motors vehicle.

“In our business, people are our main asset so our benefits are designed to keep people happy and healthy,” a spokesman for DLA Piper, Jason Costa, said.

Fried, Frank, Harris, Shriver & Jacobson, a 600-lawyer firm based in New York, offers employees a service akin to a personal issues coach and psychotherapist through a deal with Corporate Counseling Associates of Manhattan. The consulting firm has a battery of staff psychologists and social workers to provide advice on issues including stress, anxiety, depression and divorce.

While many companies have offered employee assistance programs over the years, few have Ph.D. psychologists on staff.

A spokeswoman for Fried, Frank, Paula Zirinsky, said, “We want employees to be successful in their personal as well as their work lives.”

The new perks are separate from the wining and dining that top law firms conduct each year for their summer associates, whom they hope to lure back after they finish law school.

Still, the parties and the food for lawyers are getting better. “We’re not talking a ham sandwich and a cup of coffee anymore,” said William M. O’Connor, a partner in the boutique litigation firm of Crowell & Moring, which is based in Washington.

Crowell & Moring recently began giving wine parties at its New York office, with tuna tartare, baby lamb chops and vegetable trays. One associate requested that the firm “explore Spanish wines,” a spokeswoman related, so Crowell & Moring recently provided bottles of a 2001 Rondan and a 2005 Olivares Altos de la Hoya.

At Cravath, Swaine & Moore’s New York office, lawyers who work into the evenings can have dinner delivered, on a silver tray, from the Palm restaurant, a hot spot for media and financial executives.

Law firms, awash in cash from a banner year of deal making and private equity activity, now consider the training programs they run for their associates to be major perks.

But Mr. Johnson of Law Practice Consultants said that some corporate clients paying $350 an hour and more to some associates, and double that or more to partners, were irritated. The corporate clients “don’t want to be responsible for associate training,” he said. “I hear them say all the time, ‘they treat their associates better than I get treated at my company.’”

It is true that many of the perks have a lifestyle flavor. O’Melveny & Myers, a large California-based law firm with offices in Asia, holds yoga classes at its Newport Beach office for lawyers and their staffs. And Kilpatrick Stockton, a large firm with offices throughout the Southeast, has a nap room in its Raleigh, N.C., office, complete with a reclining chair, sofa and travel alarm clock.

“Yes, it gets used, “ said Carol Vassey, the chief administrator in the Raleigh office, though rarely for more than 15 minutes at a time.

Increasingly, having a life means having company-sponsored child care.

Arnold & Porter, based in Washington, was among the first to offer on-site day care, in 1995. Only a few firms, including Crowell & Morning, have followed suit — deterred, among other things, by insurance and zoning issues.

Some firms have come up with variations. Dechert, a 1,000-lawyer firm based in Philadelphia; Fried, Frank; Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison; and Fulbright & Jaworski provide emergency nanny services, in which the firm will find and send a nanny to a lawyer’s home.

While some lawyers scoff at what they consider frivolous perks — Baker & McKenzie calls its sabbaticals and training “meaningful benefits” — the virtues of the new benefits are in the eye of the beholder.

“Forget the pet insurance and concierge services: that’s setting up people’s lives, and I find that appalling,” said Mitchell S. Roth, a principal at Much Shelist Denenberg Ament & Rubenstein, a comparatively small firm based in Chicago. “The perk we offer in our world is a culture of collegiality and training.”

Still, Mr. Roth acknowledged that Much Shelist occasionally brought in a masseuse.

“It’s for morale,” he said.

Anonymous said...

Loyola 2L's thanksgiving wishes:

This is the worst Thanksgiving of my life. I’m now a 3L and everything I feared is coming true. Last year, when I talked about the indebted and underemployed misery of tier 2 law school graduates, I was half joking. Graduation was a year and a half away. In the back of my mind, I felt like I would find something. After a year of networking and looking, the job market is as bleak as my most pessimistic fears.
Now it’s getting serious.
But hope fights on. As Ms. Dickinson said, it never stops. It lays perched on my soul, relenting through this storm and providing me comfort.

Sadly though, even this once pristine sentiment has been corrupted by this windigo known as Loyola law school. I used to hope for positive things, like finding good work, supporting myself and being happy. Now intertwined with these is the hope that the people who run this scam get their comeuppance. As shameful as it is to say, today I’ve hope multiple times that our Dean, Mr. “we don’t promise our students jobs” chokes on his Thanksgiving meal. That’s what tier 2 misery has reduced me to. So as you enjoy your Thanksgiving, be thankful that you’ve made it through life without having the monkey of the swindled placed on your back. Be thankful that when you went $150,000 into debt, it was for something worthwhile, and not for a worthless piece of paper known as a Loyola Law School degree.
Comment by Loyola 2L - November 21, 2007 at 9:48 pm

Anonymous said...

From JDunderground, a contract attorney celebrates Thanksgiving:

"I've been lurking this forum for a month and a half or so. Anyway, I went to my fiancee's parents' house for Thanksgiving...we got there at around noon. Started drinking immediately. Wine and beer. Then her dad breaks out whiskey or scotch or something. I basically made a huge ass out of myself and got in a shouting match with her dad and an uncle (I think) about politics and called them stupid and leftist morons or something, fuck I don't remember. I threw up in the basement bathroom, and I'm not sure whether anyone was aware of that fact. Fiancee and I got in a monster argument in her parents' front lawn, and I am 70% sure I actually slapped or hit her :( (with her family watching out the window of course).
Basically, she took me home at 4:30 (just after dinner) to "sleep it off". I passed out and just got up. My fucking head is spinning and I've already thrown up again twice in about 20 minutes. My fiancee won't speak to me, shit she won't even be in the same room with me. I am seriously fucked. I just needed to vent. I have no idea what I'm going to do.
I've been stressed out lately, maybe this is the reason this happened, I dunno. Trouble finding a job, been doing doc review, not too many prospects on the horizon, etc etc etc. Fuck. Any advice?"

Anonymous said...

just pull the trigger already. what's most troubling is that you actually have a girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

Advice? Yeah, grow up, asshole. And see a therapist.

Anonymous said...

Get help! Get some therapy, take a good look at yourself regarding the drinking. This profession has its share of heavy drinkers. I would try to make some amends, offer apologies. But get that anger issue out in the open and deal with it! I am sorry about your Thanksgiving, but you have got to take this as a sign that you need help.

Anonymous said...

just off yourself, you piece of shit

Anonymous said...

I recommend that you cut off your genitals!