Thursday, September 09, 2010

Has Helene Diamond Lost Her Mind?



"We have an immediate need for admitted document review attorneys - we have a document review project in our offices (25 West 31st Street, NY, NY 10001) starting on MONDAY, September 13th @ 900am.

Rate: The pay rate is based on an incentivized pay structure. You will receive a base pay rate of $25/hr, and at the end of the project you will receive a bonus check based on group performance and productivity."


Are you serious, lady? $25/hr is insulting enough, but to base pay upon "group performance and productivity" is downright laughable. Last time I worked for you, I was promised a "professional" working environment, but while you sat on your duff in your cushy office, I was shoved into an unventilated broom closet with an angry bipolar girl off her meds, an inappropriate sexual deviant, and a sweet talking con artist who skimmed along without doing any work. The way it works is this: I code the documents, you place and are responsible for the quality and work ethic of the candidates. Don't penalize me for your incompetence in having to find quality candidates with your insulting, bottom feeding slum rate.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am honored to have the first response. Welcome back Tom.

The post also stated that the project will go no longer than September 30th (2 weeks), and will require you to work at least fifty hours a week. WTF? Isn't a flat $35a week for a two week project insulting enough?

I didn't realize it was Helene Diamond but am not surprised. She has always been below market rate.

Anonymous said...

Oops. I meant $35 an hour. It just feels like $35 a week.

Anonymous said...

Is she still at Peak?

Anonymous said...

I thought it was $25 an hour?

Nando said...

Yes, this MUST be an "honorable profession," after all! I mean, what other "profession" heaps such lavish rewards on people who spent 7+ years in post-secondary education?!?!

Dean Matasar said...

Joan King told me to tell you to "network."

Better Coder said...

Hey all,

Thought I'd let everyone know I am still working. 55/75. Getting geared up for some fall fashion as well as small tittied bitches with tight little asses. I like a small rack only if the ass is very small, hard and toned.

Very Truly Yours,
Bigger Vein Down the Front Side of My Cock Than You

Anonymous said...

Contact Al Franken and show your support for his bankruptcy bill in committee allowing private student loans to be discharged in bankruptcy. End indentured servitude in your lifetime, while you still can.

Anonymous said...

It's sad that to me $25/hr, while humiliating, would be something I'd jump right on. And $35/wk for 9-5s sounds very good to me, and I'd be thrilled with that.

I didn't even know regular doc review went up to $55, I know foreign languages are a little higher but since they can just outsource them it's surprising to me.

Anonymous said...

The unlicensed-in-US Indian "attorneys" would do the work for $3/hr, so you'd better be thankful that this 'opportunity' hasn't been offshored.

Helene said...

Diamonds for Helene.
Rhinestones for you (if you're productivity is high).

Chairman Matasar said...

Hello from Access Group!

I am writing from my position as chairman of Access Group, not as dean of New York Law School. I know it's easy to get my two positions confused, but just trust me when I tell you it's in no way a conflict of interest to be both at the same time, despite what common sense might tell you.

You people had better accept these lousy, plunging rates and make your monthly payments to me, or else I'll turn loose the unfettered power of debt collection for unpaid student loans that Congress has granted me. You think your lives are miserable now? Just miss a couple of payments and see what happens.......

Go complain to Senator Stuart Smalley all you want. You'l never be good enough or smart enough, nor will anyone like you.

JUST PAY UP!!!!

Anonymous said...

The market it getting worse. Prepare for double dip. I hear India is booming.

Anonymous said...

dental plan lisa needs braces

surgeon is inspired

etc


i wonder whatever happened to lifeat160? i hope he got laid off too

Anonymous said...

Tom, you failed to report the most interesting part of this story (in my opinion). ATL is reporting that this ad also included a proviso requiring candidates to include the number of documents they could review in an hour and (apparently since the employer does not like doing its own (very simple) math) the number of documents you can review in a ten hour day.

While the rate is what it is (there really isn't that much demand for these low/no skill positions right now), the fact that they would ask about the number of docs/hr cracks me up. Obviously, they must not feel too good about their own ability to accurately forecast what is likely a flat-fee bid on their part.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

Anonymous said...

What happened to Sonia?

Ivy Temp said...

$25 is pretty bad. Worse, however, may be working with an ex-Big Law Associate [now TEMP] like I do - who does not realize she was LAID-OFF [because she wasn't GOOD ENOUGH] and continues to bully and beat the poor hicks at this new small law firm I am at - who are soooo happy to have a Big Law gal - as bad as she may be. Obviously she dare not touch me [bitch to bitch -- I will knock out her horse teeth out]...This anorexic mule is in denial. ANYONE can get into Big Law for a year or two - but do you have staying power??? Please girly for all your Barneys frocks and million dollar Dumbo loft you don't fool me!! I have seen it all and I am NOT impressed!! More to come on my blog about this haughty has-been...

Anonymous said...

Call your congressman to support the Franken student loan discharge bill if you are unemployed, underemployed, have no hope of a legal career and are mired in debt and living a life of indentured servitude. This may be your only chance to do something about it.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, Tom, from your LONG vacation opening up the first LPO in Turkmenistan!!!

Anonymous said...

When they kick you to the curb without notice, your "bonus" will be a $5 Starbucks card. Speed readers need only apply.

Anonymous said...

How are you supposed to know how many documents you can review before seeing the documents?

Anonymous said...

I did find it odd and downright unethical that the post asked for the number of documents you can code in a day. And how are they actually going to check? But I've worked with Helene Diamond several times and always found her to be very professional, nice, and honest.
The job offer has major problems, but that's not a reason for personal insults of Helene.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Helene!

Anonymous said...

I don't know the woman, but anyone who would post such an announcement is crazy. Why would anyone be responsible for the several losers who usually pop up on these projects?

Anonymous said...

I did a short term assignment at her offices a year or so back and day one, when all the client principals were standing around, she comes up to me and shakes my hand (I was just a temp). Once she found out I was a temp she lustily moved on to the principal.

It could be that she wanted to blow me, I'm that handsome.

Anonymous said...

Group performance is completely laughable. As individual coders all we can do is make sure our work is good, we can't control the quality or speed of other people. If agencies want quality then they need to put in training and performance metrics, and don't put it all on the coder. And we have no control over the people put on the project. If an agency wants to put their slow ass buddies on a project, why should I be penalized for it? All a group bonus is going to do is cause fist fights between people who don't give a shit, and people who need that bonus and are going to press people to be quiet and do their work.

Anonymous said...

Helene Diamond is the bottom of the barrel, the worst of the worst in a horrible industry.
She is the lowest standard and a complete bitch on wheels.
(Plus a dishonest purveyor of fake jobs.)

Numb Buns said...

I am an adjunct professor and I make 27 dollars an hour. The payrate for this temp0orary position for attorneys is absolutely sickening to me.

Anonymous said...

Don't believe anything she says. No wonder she bounces from firm to firm

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