Monday, June 22, 2009

SkaTTTen, SkaTTTen, SkaTTTen

Two weeks ago, we learned how Skadden will literally jerk you around night after night for weeks on end without pay while twiddle dee and twiddle dum try to figure out how to load documents into a computer.

Today, we learn how Skadden nearly destroyed the career of a young staff attorney. In short, staff attorney, sponsored by the Skadden pro bono program, undertook representation of a poor divorcee. The staff attorney's representation turned out to be nothing short of disastrous. Staff attorney didn't seek an iota of financial disclosure from the husband. Wife was later informed by staff attorney that she didn't "have the experience nor the time to handle a lengthy relocation trial," and that she could pretty much could forget about relocating to Florida with her child, after which Wife broke down in tears. The Skadden representation was found to be so bungled that the court had to undo the stipulation of settlement. You can follow the horrifying chain of representation below.

In the order dissolving the settlement agreement, the judge explicitly set out who she felt was to blame for this horror show of events:

"The Court is not using the actual name of the wife's former counsel so as not to embarrass her. . . The court attributes any errors in her representation of the Wife not to staff attorney's own lack of skill or judgment, but to inadequate training, supervision and oversight by Skadden and by InMotion."

- Justice Ellen Gesmer, NYS Supreme Court

Despite the judge's finding, two short weeks after the ruling, the biglaw media propaganda machine kicked into high gear smearing the reputation of this young staff attorney by prominently displaying her name at the front end of an article. Any future employer can easily google the name of this young woman and learn what an incompetent dolt she was. Skadden meanwhile pretty much gets off scott free.

http://www.nylj.com/nylawyer/adgifs/decisions/061809gesmer.pdf

http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1202431553713&src=EMC-Email&et=editorial&bu=Law.com&pt=LAWCOM%20Newswire&cn=NW_20090618&kw=Failure%20to%20Supervise%20Pro%20Bono%20Attorney%20Dooms%20Divorce%20Pact

88 comments:

beerguzzlingtemp said...

Skatten is awlful. Their behavior is sinful.

Anonymous said...

Perfect example as to why I always say no to pro bono.

Anonymous said...

Not surprising. As a staff attorney, her mind was probably numbed from years of doc review, and when given a real case she didnt know what to do.

Imagine the brain damage that SkaTTTen bust have been doing to have someone botch an uncontested divorce!

Anonymous said...

SkaTTTen is really an awful place to work. The place is so regimented that it literally turns you into a yes-sir robot. The attorney was probably so programmed that the poor thing didn't know what to do. Her only command was to get woman to fill out uncontested paper forms. When woman wouldn't comply and divorce became contested, the robot's head overheated and exploded.

Anonymous said...

There is a reason they keep staffers from doing these kinds of tasks, i.e "real legal work"

For example - would YOU trust alex Gaylard or Clovester, or any of the other S&C boxdwelling losers with a divorce??? The thought of such a thing makes me shudder.

Word is that Clovester often falls into such a coma when reviewing documents that he has to use a napkin to wipe the drool periodically from his face. Would you want a drool-mouth as the pro-bono face of your firm?

And that doesnt say anything about Gaylard - If you were assigning staffers to these cases would you trust a guy who cant even iron his own fucking shirt??

Now thats not to say that there arent competent staff attorneys out there who wouldnt botch such a matter, but a lot of them should just stick to what they do best - harassing temps and clicking.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Posting a link to her facebook account is distasteful. The woman has been humiliated enough; she doesn't need scores of losers from here ogling over her. Skadden should be the target of ridicule here, not the attorney who had no experience handling divorces.

Shameful.

Anonymous said...

3:14

I'm handling an IP case against Skadden right now and they've had literally 3-4 different associates working on it and writing letters in a 3 month period. Seems their turnover is very high or something -- two people who wrote letters aren't even there anymore.

Anonymous said...

Well that's what people get when they want free legal help. The woman was told that the attorney would not handle a contested divorce and that her problem was outside the scope of representation. The judge was just massaging the facts to get the woman out of the stipulation.

I've done pro bono before. I keep files of all conversations I have with the client just in case shit like this comes up. Most of the time the people are so disorganized that you need to cover your ass.

I felt the decision was more a chide to InMotion and Skadden for not properly supervising her. I can't believe that she didn't tell the supervising attorney at InMotion what was going on with the client.

Anonymous said...

Pro bono is a thankless job.

Anonymous said...

Pro bono is thankless. I handled some shitlaw matters years ago. The paying clients never want to pay. Friends were the worst. They want everything for free.

Anonymous said...

It's no surprise she didn't ask for help. SkaTTTen is full of a bunch of insecure twits, where asking for help is a sign of weakness. I remember the awful project that I was on, where if you asked the lady for clarification, she would literally laugh in your face and make you feel like a moron.

Anonymous said...

Lady Sara Kim of Yorkson is searching for more reviewers. I'd rather be homeless than contact her. She is very nasty and unpleasant.

Anonymous said...

Pro bono is bull.

Any other business, people are expected to charge for their services.

But this person is expected to get free help from a big law firm for a divorce.

And, then they complain about the service or work.

More pretensions about this "profession".

Anonymous said...

I didn't find Lady Sara of Yorkson nasty or unpleasant but I did find her laaaaaaaaaame. She keeps caling but comes up with nothing...

Anonymous said...

3:34. Ha, ha, very good post. So true. I'd rather represent myself than have Clovester or the other lamos represent me. And I am not even a lawyer!!

Ha, ha, ha, ha..

Anonymous said...

Did I share one tidbit about Clovester? About the time his ugly "actor" friend who was probably only good for the role of Freddy Krueger was taking pictures of girls in the coding room and when they complained Clovester banished these complaining girls to another small dark airless room. Yes sir, this did happen and I was too scared at the time to say anything because I needed the job. That's the kind of loser he is

Anonymous said...

1231- Obviously, she shouldn't have taken the case then. Aside from filling out the uncontested forms, it appears as if this attorney didn't have the slightest interest in representing or advocating for this woman. She didn't even take the initiative to seek out help from above. I don't care if she was newly minted, once you sign your name to a complaint you have an ethical obligation to represent the client to the best of your ability. There are thousands of newly minted lawyers that would jump at a chance to help out in a case like this. Unfortunately, many volunteer organizations are only seeking out help from the biglaw associate spoiled babies that could give a rat's ass about this type of work.

Anonymous said...

Yo! We want BC in da house!!!

Anonymous said...

Staff attorneys are only capable of putting together Wonderboxes, counting documents, putting labels and, as someone has already said, bossing temps. Oh, and maybe having an affair or two ON THE JOB.

They are stupid dumbfucks and should NOT be given actual cases.

This is Staff Attorney 101. That poor divorcee would have been MUCH better off going to a neighborhood solo dude!!! Poor thing!!

Anonymous said...

"Unfortunately, many volunteer organizations are only seeking out help from the biglaw associate spoiled babies that could give a rat's ass about this type of work"

Yes, these socially awkward nerds are only interested in making money and the prestige of BigLaw. They are not interested in helping out some poor loser -- sad but true...

Anonymous said...

Divorce is ugly. Greed is ugly. Biglaw is ugly. I call on Father Eamon to say a prayer.

Anonymous said...

"would YOU trust alex Gaylard or Clovester, or any of the other S&C boxdwelling losers with a divorce???"

Absolutly not. They'd screw up an uncontested divorce. That's why they're staff attorneys.

"Pro bono is bull."

You got that right. Plus, you're dealing with fuck up clients from the get go. Never take pro bono unless you have someone covering you with malpractice and someone that knows how to do the case.

Anonymous said...

this pro bono skatten is cute as hell
nice nice

Better Coder said...

I was offered a Skadden staff attorney position. Unfortunately I had to turn them down. The pay, was simply too low.

Best,
Better Coder

Anonymous said...

There is no more Skadden staff attorney program. They cut down about 90% of the staff.

Anonymous said...

Better coder is a fry cook at better burger.

Anonymous said...

Better coder, all this talk about burgers is making me hungry.

I'd like to a cheeseburger with all of the trimming and a coke. Yes, I'd like fries with that!

Get back to the deep fryer and cook, stat!

Anonymous said...

Why doesn't "better coder" allow for comments on his blog?

He is just a liar and a fake.

Anonymous said...

Better Coder is a ladyboy!! And I am in love with him. Better, holla at me, lover. I love you and I want to have your baby!!!

Anonymous said...

I saw Better at Nobu with Clovester's hand on his knee. That's how this ladyboy gets his gigs!!

Anonymous said...

Not to worry 2:07. Father Eamon is here and I have prayed for all of you and also said five rosaries sitting on a bed of thorns.

I am sorry I have been late in coming here this morning but that blasphemous shameful movie The DaVinci Code was on last night - and I had many nightmares.

May God have mercy on all of us...

Father Eamon

Anonymous said...

Father, you should have asked Sister to give you a deep tissue massage, if you know what I mean!!

Anonymous said...

I want to marry a CODER!!! Holla at me Better!!!

Anonymous said...

Better if I suck your dick will you recommend me to one of those staff attorneys???

Anonymous said...

Fuggedabouit!!!

Dave Moss said...

"Aw, fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!"

Anonymous said...

I don't know of too many other professions that do pro bono. Its already hard enough to get paying clients to pay. I am not doing free work for these losers. They got themselves into their own messes.

Anonymous said...

"Aw, fuck you Pro Bono Clients! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!"

Anonymous said...

1:28 - agreed.

As a lawyer your ethical responsibilities to your client supercede your desire not to "embarrass" yourself by asking for help (or at an EARLIER stage, before you screw up the client's life, withdrawing from representation).

This attorney should be, and should have been, named, based on the information in this post she screwed up.

I totally agree that the firm should also bear a large measure of blame, but primary responsibility is with the lawyer.

Next time a staff attorney or contract document reviewer complains about being treated like an idiot by the employer and not trusted to do anything, read this story and realize that it's because of lawyers like her that you're considered an idiot because you're a document reviewer.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it amusing that the various state bars try and encourage their members to participate in pro bono work. Meanwhile, we are paying our Bar fees (where the money goes, I have no idea) and putting up with the racket that is CLE (seriously, has any CLE course ever been worth the money?).

If the State Bars gave half a fuck about their members, they would spend that money trying to match prospective lawyers with jobs instead of harassing us to do pro bono work while we are collecting unemployment.

Also, the law schools that took our sallie mae money all the while lecturing us about ethics while also providing employment after graduation data that has proven to be patently false should be summarily drawn and quartered.

Anonymous said...

10:46 said "It's no surprise she didn't ask for help. SkaTTTen is full of a bunch of insecure twits, where asking for help is a sign of weakness. I remember the awful project that I was on, where if you asked the lady for clarification, she would literally laugh in your face and make you feel like a moron."

She was probably an ugly whore whose husband laughed at her in bed at night and made HER feel like a moron. And she took it out on others. That's the way it usually happens..

Anonymous said...

"Any future employer can easily google the name of this young woman and learn what an incompetent dolt she was." That is horrible, incompetent dolts should be allowed to hide the incompetence that may prevent further employment and their poor representation of others.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for bringing this case (especially the articles identifying the attorney) to my attention, I would've likely missed the whole thing and not know what a dolt she is.

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord, this site is getting kookier and kookier!! We have beerguzzler, better coder, recruiter whore and a Father all traipsing through -- not to mention all those crazy S&C stories, Sir Misanthrope, holey moley....!!!!!

Recruiter said...

I clearly won't be hiring this woman for any future document review opportunities. Rule #1 is that a job candidate is always supposed to keep me in the loop. Clearly, this woman didn't keep her supervisors in the loop.

Anonymous said...

My friends who have had dealings with SkaTTTen describe them as an unpleasant group of people.

Clearly, from their bungling of this pro bono case, some of them are incompetent morons as well.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I have heard terrible things about Skatten as well. Their staff attorneys sound almost as incompetent as S&C's, although I doubt anyone could beat Big Momma, Clovester and Gaylard's MORONITY!!!

Anonymous said...

That pro bono shit is a bunch of nonsense cooked up by law professors and the ethics board. If they actually had to get out there and work, they wouldn't push all that bullshit.

I didn't waste three years in law school and pay a bunch of money, so that I could work for free. Fuck you, pay me or go to jail like you probably deserve.

Anonymous said...

Or better yet, if you want me to work for free (and put my ass on the line). Why don't you wave my bar fee or pay off some of my student loan debt. Oh, I see, you don't want to work for free Mr. bar committee member or mr. professor. I'm the one that's supposed to work for free. Now I understand. Fuck you.

Anonymous said...

This blog spends all day complaining about how doc reviewers aren't treated like real lawyers. Then a staff attorney tries to be a real lawyer and totally screws it up. What is the lesson learned by the whiny blog? Blame the idiot's firm. Maybe doc reviewers should generally be grateful for the jobs they have because they aren't good for much else.

Anonymous said...

This blog didn't blame it on the firm, the judge did.

Anonymous said...

8:17 PM

Over at Cravvie, Skeeter, Snuffy, Lil' Kim, Deeva, and Susan are laughing their asses off whenever they hear about the dumb fucks at SkaTTTen, S&C, and the rest... 'Course, the rest of the time, the gang at Cravvie are taking their CLOTHES off and hittin' the skins in the Blue Room, or in Susan's closet, or in the basement, or wherever the mood strikes.

Anonymous said...

5:29 again.

I skimmed the decision, given what it says about the lawyer and the things she did, I'm amazed the judge thought her anonymity should be preserved. Comments in the decision like "Two other factors caused me to find that Ms. Smith’s testimony was not reliable.
First, Ms. Smith’s testimony was often confused....Finally, Ms. Smith was often evasive and indirect in her
answers...." and several "I do not credit Ms. Smith's [the fake name of the attorney] testimony..." notes. There are findings about duress to the client and threats by the lawyer to withdraw (which under NY law would probably not have been permitted per the case), etc. I have a lot more sympathy for the client and her child than for this lawyer, who having been called in 2003 (and being a graduate of a T50 school) has no excuse for this sort of behaviour which in my view warrants professional discipline. And to reiterate, it perpetuates the (false, I thought, until this story...) stereotype of staff attorneys as incompetent lawyers who can only click.

Anonymous said...

What percentage of US attorneys work in firms of 5 attorneys or less?

Anonymous said...

SkaTTTen Arps is the Bear Stearns of BigLaw. They are the poseurs, the pretenders, the wannabes and also rans of BigLaw.

They will be the first of the megafirms the implode.

spaces said...

This one deserves to be outed. She should never practice again.

Anonymous said...

Only lawyers would be forced to work for these freebie cases. Because all lawyers are "rich". And they "owe society".

F--- society!!

Anonymous said...

What's Fitzpatrick like? One recruiter mentioned a project there but I see it is on the sweatshop list??

Anonymous said...

Watch out for Fitzpatrick. I temped there a while back - although the senior lawyers are great, on the junior associate and para/contract attorney level it is lame and weird.

And also watch out for their paralegal manager Lisa, she feels she is too good to be there and loves to call in all the fat ugly paras and get gossip from them on whose sleeping with whom and who said what. Not a very professional environment....and to make it worse some junior associates chime in on the seeedy gossip - don't they have anything better to do -- lamos.

As much as I hate the big firms, they were a great deal more professional than Fitz.

Anonymous said...

Dock review is COCK review

Dave Moss said...

"Aw, fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!"

Anonymous said...

I've worked at S & C on many occasions and have no idea who 'Clovester' and 'Big Momma" is? can someone provide initials please, at least the first person's initials so I can figure out who you guys are talking about?. By the way, the nonsense that would go on at some of the projects at S & C is insane. Nowhere, would you see behavior like that at other legal places of employment. You had a guy who would download movies on to everyone's computer and people would watch movies all day long, a male receptionist who posted half naked videoas of themselves on Youtube prancing around and singing, some people would sleep at their desk and others would wander in for the day and out for the day, any dammn time they felt like it, absolute madness and the height of unprofessionalism. It is no wonder that doc review attracts many socially akward and mentally deficit people. Doc review is the only job that will take them...

Anonymous said...

Dave Moss is an ugly troll - I have seen him in real life and he looks like a used up shoe...

Dave Moss said...

"Aw, fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!"

Anonymous said...

I've also seen Dave Moss in real life and he looks like a sick donkey

Anonymous said...

I have appeared before this judge. She is very tough. She is particularly tough on people who don't know what they are doing. If she claims in this case that it is solely the firm's fault, I would tend to believe her.

Ricky Roma said...

"How fucked up you are!"

Anonymous said...

Sorry but unless the attorney just got out of law school she is more than partly to blame. I have worked with inMotion and yes they don't hold your hand but there is training and resources. I did two complicated divorces on my own. I was working a non-profit where I did not have a paralegal or library available to me. So sorry.

Anonymous said...

If this woman is a staff attorney at such a premier world firm she should be able to do this divorce.

That she wasn't able to says something about the quality of people these law firms hire at that level.

Anonymous said...

This case got messed up because divorce is sinful in the first place.

May God have mercy on all of us....

Father Eamon

Anonymous said...

3:34 said "Word is that Clovester often falls into such a coma when reviewing documents that he has to use a napkin to wipe the drool periodically from his face."

Even when this fool is NOT reviewing docs he is in a coma - induced quite possibly by his own stench!!

Anonymous said...

The divorce got messed up because this young woman and the law firm didn't care. Obviously, they were trying to shove an uncontested case down this lady's throat, and wanted to get back to monkey coding their high net revenue documents. An uncontested divorce can always become contested and complicated. Once you sign your name to the dotted line, you are in until the judge relieves you.

Anonymous said...

The staff attorneys at S&C can't find the toilet at the courthouse, let alone handle a matrimonial matter. Gayllard would shit his pants before a judge.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about the rest of you, but 7:14 is why I come to this blog.

Ha, ha, ha -- so funny and so true!!

Anonymous said...

Yes Gaylard and his ilk are most comfortable prancing around scared temps and sucking ass of some equally scared first/second year associate.

These goons would definitely crap in their polyester pants if they even MET a judge!!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of S&C and crapping - anyone remember when Clovester used to blow up the handicapped bathroom on 38?! Every day same time same place this guy is taking a huge shit. Sometimes at like 10 in the morning already dumping in there.

And then would walk out with this huge smirk on his face, maybe he got turned on by the smell...

Anonymous said...

Fuggedabouit!!!

Anonymous said...

Clovester's nose is dead to smell--having smelled his own stench for 46 years. I think he was smiling he had just pleasured himself thinking of Markie Mark!!

Anonymous said...

Anyone else find it weird that all these people you mock have gainful employment while you troll on this blog?

Anonymous said...

Yaaaaawwwwwnnnnn. Don't you people ever get tired of reading this blog? Move on with your lives. Stop complaining and do something meaningful! Even if you are stuck temping or not temping...the more you complain the more miserable you remain. I temped for years, and when the jobs ran out I jumped ship and got a permanent job doing something that is entirely NOT law. Maybe someday when the economy gets better (which it will because it's always cyclical) I will do something else, but for now I have a full-time, 9-5 job that pays reasonably well with benefits!!! So what if it's not exactly what I want to do in life...it sure beats complaining and being miserable all the time! At least I can pay my rent and my bills and be home for dinner with my family.

Anonymous said...

Yep, the LPO mobsters want all American lawyers to abandon their careers so their cut rate zombies can take our jobs.

There is a transparent, vested interest by many to destroy the American legal system. And this is one of the few blogs that has the guts to discuss.

So ignore the perpetual waterfall of static and negativity and focus on the entertaining and informative posts.

Anonymous said...

Can someone please tell me WHO THE F**k is CLOVESTER????

Anonymous said...

"Yaaaaawwwwwnnnnn. Don't you people ever get tired of reading this blog? Move on with your lives. Stop complaining and do something meaningful! "



And you?
why are you here?
No doubt, another agency trolling around hyping itself.

Anonymous said...

The term "LPO" was coined by MBA bean-counters and business consultants and is similar to "HMO". It's an acronym meant to simultaneously conceal the nature of the beast, and to pacify the legal world and put them at ease with something that is fundamentally nefarious, duplicitous and exploitative.

Mikethelawstudent said...

Wow, poor girl.



TOPEKA ATTORNEY

Anonymous said...

9:56. If you have worked at S&C and don't know who Clovester is consider yourself lucky!!

Finding out too much about this Wonderbox dweller will only give you nightmares.

Anonymous said...

Clovester is a wonderfully inflated Thanksgiving Day Balloon who floats are Alex to a vomitorium degree. He was the infamous 38 Special who is fabulous at sleeping, and a pro at living womanlessly.