Thursday, November 08, 2007

Washington City Article

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/display.php?id=34054

If you ever want to feel good about your life, however bad it is, read a blog by Tom the Temp, a New York based temp document review lawyer.

In Tom the Temp’s blog, which you can read at temporaryattorney.blogspot.com, I read about temporary attorneys slaving away in sweatshops, about cruel and inhumane workplace conditions including locked fire exits, filth, and blocked toilets. I also read that temp document review attorneys become stigmatized by their temp work—that once they’ve been temp document reviewers for a year or two, they can never move on to anything else—meaning they become an underclass of attorneys.

“The conditions were horrific. There were about 15 of us…packed into a small, windowless conference room,” the blogger writes. “It appeared as if the room had previously served as a supply closet.…Talking was forbidden. A heavy-set paralegal would periodically come around and bellow out in a deep, baritone voice to do, “more workin’ and less talkin’.” Like a child, you had to sign out to use the restroom.…One day, a middle-aged woman, who had recently been laid off from her in-house job, broke down in tears.”

About a project unexpectedly coming to an end: “Apparently, after having been promised six months of steady employment (many of us turned down other projects based on this assumption), over 100 of us were suddenly, without notice, dumped out onto the sidewalk just three weeks after the project had commenced…”

And describing a firm’s attempt to discover the identity of Tom the Temp and the ubiquity of same: “When you look with disdain at the ‘Temps’ or you encourage your employees to do so, you illustrate your morality. These ‘temps’ are people too, many of whom had dreams to be Perry Mason, Alan Dershowitz, F. Lee Bailey, Clarence Darrow or Marty Lipton and not Perry Doc Review.…Look in the mirror, Tom the Temp is on every project, he is sitting next to you, he is a paralegal, he is an associate, he is a she, he has a friend who is a temp, he is your friend and he is your enemy and he may at times even yes, be YOU. I pray for a world where Tom the Temp is not necessary but unfortunately that may never happen.…WE ARE ALL TOM THE TEMP.

34 comments:

My Attorney Blog said...

Amen. Tom the Temp walks among us all. Hopefully one day he will just be a name, but for now, he personifies the many disillusioned and lost spirits of the magical world of contract attorneys.

Though there are many positive and negative facets to this business, and while not completely representative, he has a noble purpose!

Anonymous said...

Vive Tom le Temp!

Queen Antoinette said...

Off with his 'ead!!


Queen Antoinette....

Anonymous said...

Rumor is thst the entire 65 Broadway project is over and everyone's getting fired. Can anyone confirm or deny?

Anonymous said...

hudson is led by the clever trickster, mr. a. cohen, and adam "chooch" platin. piss on them!

Anonymous said...

I read today that vioxx settled -- doesn't that mean curtains for the 65 B'way project?http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7087348.stm

Joe Miller said...

Tom,

You are one of the most pissed off guys in the blogosphere. But I love ya anyway.

Come here ya big lug ... MUUUUUUUUUAH!

Anonymous said...

65 and HHR will shutdown within two weeks. All of you bitchy temps can go fuck yourselves and look for a 'better' job now without having to worry about a blacklist. As an associate I think it is hilarious that you are all going to lose your jobs. Fuck temps!

Anonymous said...

Dechert is cutting back at 65 by 80%. Hughes Hubbard is canning all of their temps for making fun of Lilly and eggman. Good luck finding a job assholes.

Anonymous said...

Lilly and eggman won.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand the theme behind the blog. I am a recent law grad in the same position, without a job. You are swiping at the whole temp agency industry, where do you want me to sleep at night, on the benches in central park? It is one thing to propose a solution, a hefty burden, it is another to lash out at all the agencies where there is no choice. Theoretically if the going gets tough you can go to a third world country and defaut on all your solutions. In the meantime, tell us which agencies are good and which are bad....

Anonymous said...

I love when spoiled-ass, overpaid associates come on here and aren't even smart enough to know that their ISPs can be tracked and their comments forwarded to their bosses. And they would have absolutely no cause of action. Keep fucking with us.

Anonymous said...

Temping is a really good gig for my life circumstances right now - I love it. But in a year I'll have my own thing going, and I won't need it anymore. The doc review lifers with shitty gpas, no interview skills and no work experience - they are the truly fucked ones.

But yeah, 5:09, the temps that sleep at their desks, surf the internet all day and bitch that they don't get prestige or recognition - stay far, far away from those bad apples. You can recognize them from their complete lack of social skills and delusions of competency. Their mothers never should have told them they were special.

Anonymous said...

I think its funny that an associate comes on here and runs their mouth off on a blog. Say that stuff to may face mother fucker and then count how many off your teeth I leave on the floor. Oh wait you won't because you are a bitch-ass coward. You are an office cockroach. Put some light on you and you scurry away like the shitbag you are.

Anonymous said...

Would don't you go say some of this stuff to an associates face and see what happends?

Anonymous said...

It is quite humorous that supposed "associates" would be stupid enough to post on this blog and not realize that their identities can most certainly be tracked via their ip address.

Anonymous said...

have you heard of a proxy server?

Anonymous said...

You honestly think a proxy server will protect your secret identity? lol, silly fake associates.

Anonymous said...

Comment: By: The John Bungsolaphagus Nov. 09, 2007, at 12:45 pm
Great article. You hit on several key points, the main being that being a lawyer is not the money making, glamorous and interesting so-called 'profession' that most laymen think it is. It is a bizzaro world, upside down, life of misery, poverty and dreck at the hands of absolute snakes who run the legal profession. What you fail delve into is the fact that doc review has slowed down dramatically recently and that it will soon all be in India. There are very few good projects right now. Doc review has served as a type of un or underemployment insurance policy for many in these times of the massive glut of lawyers. Now that policy is going to India as we speak. You are likely to see a massive wave of loan defaults and sooner later, lawyers going "postal" in law offices or elsewhere in society. It's time for many to get out of the "profession".

Satan said...

Poof!!!!!! Loud explosion. Red flash. Reader suddenly finds him/herself transported to hell (philly).

Satan appears.

"Yes, it is true, my children. My demonic operation at 65 Broadway is finally coming to an end. The souls of 50,000 whining grandmas who croaked on Vioxx have been bought and paid for. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH."

Satan lifts his pitchfork with the rumbling of loud thunder heard in the background.

"I want to personally thank Lily, Eggman, Simon, Captain Julie Zuckerburg, and many other of my earthly underlings for running a seamless operation, and making the lives of hundreds of contract attorneys as hellish as possible."

Satan proudly looks over a smoking, barren, devastated wasteland littered with the bodies of thousands of dead grandmothers and bankrupt JD's. Meanwhile, Ken Frazier and dozens of Dechert/Hughes Hubbard partners ride off in a chariot of gold.

"LONG LIVE THE ABA. LONG LIVE MERCK!!!!"

Poof!!!!!!! Satan disappears.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the "profession" of law, and the snakes that run it. After reading this site, I am truly mortified. Abusive, asshole bosses, racism, sweatshop conditions, massive debts, etc., etc.

I was going to write a letter to the New York Bar Association and Judge Kaye. And then, I read this about an exclusive Cindy Adams dinner party on the Upper East Side:

"Chief Judge Judith Kaye was there and discussed her Rene Mancini $700 shoes, which she got on sale, with former VP candidate Geraldine Ferraro. Also there was Jan Constantine, whose husband Lloyd is on the gov's team" - AND WHO ALSO EMPLOYS ANITA, OF THE "ANITA" PROJECT FAME.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/09272007/gossip/cindy/ladies_who_lunch______in_my_ab.htm?page=2

Anonymous said...

I cannot tell whether DC is so much better than New York, or whether it's a New York cultural issue. I have done document review for 2 years by choice and have found it satisfactory. I gather that the agencies that in New York are so shitty are a lot more reasonable in DC; Update down here is excellent, Clutch and HIRECounsel are great. Hudson can be a little squirrelly but they tend to pull through with work when you need it.

Anonymous said...

Washington City Paper has an interesting article on temporary attorneys. As most of you know, I think that the practice of hiring people with law degrees to do solely document review has irreparably harmed our profession and therefore the nation. Yet, for some reason, lawyers that prattle on about how the profession should be “professional” keep using temp firms. The bar associations seem unwilling to care, and, these attorneys seem to be threatened with reprisals for even beginning to complain. (For more information see the blog referred to in the article, Tom the Temp.)

http://appellate.typepad.com/appellate/2007/11/odds-and-ends-t.html

Anonymous said...

How great is it going to be when all those Merck temps hit the streets and start BEGGING for "satan's workshop" to re-open?!!

You loser temps will get just what you deserve- NOTHING!!!! NO JOBS!!

IP Wanna Be said...

Did the author give her permission for the quote, or is that considered "fair use"? :)

Anonymous said...

Good. That sweatshop hired mostly entry-level, desperate people, anyway. Maybe, this will put an end to loser law schools charging $40,000 a year.

Anonymous said...

like ny law school? 65 broadway has got plenty of grads from there. 'nough said.

Anonymous said...

yeah real winners from that place. $40 grand a year and then you get to slave away at satan's workshop upon graduation. talk about a double whammy

Doug and Wendy Whiners said...

To everyone,

I know it’s human nature to bitch about your job. Everyone does it. I’ve done it, we all have. I’ve been reading your posts, I see your anger, and I see your frustration. At one time, I lived it. And I have one thing to ask:

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

I’ve temped with you in the trenches. I’m not a lawyer, but my wife is, and we both would like to say “Thank you.” Why? See, because of immature, whiny, vindictive, little creeps like you guys, her hard work and sacrifice was appreciated that much more.

In the years of her temp career I never once saw her lie on her time sheet (unlike YOU). I never once saw her come in late (unlike YOU). She never worked high or drunk (unlike YOU). She never took more than a few minutes in the bathroom. If she did spend more time in the bathroom, you can bet she deducted the time on her time sheet. (unlike YOU who wants to be paid for sitting on your ass for a half hour, crapping and reading in a stall, feeling like you deserve cash for your private little recess).

Sure she bitched, sure she felt the pressure of loans (we both did and still do) but did she steal time from the company like YOU want to. No. You made her look twice as amazing as she is. And then she was hired as an associate at $150,000 (plus bonus and 401k, etc.) directly because she was honest and very focused at her really boring job. Plus, she didn’t listen to people like YOU, thank God.

Now, the first step to contrition is always the hardest, so I’ll get you started. Raise your right hand, or hook, or whatever...

I’m sorry you’re complaining when you’re making between $35 and $60 + OT an hour (yes, SIXTY +OT. Those jobs are out there, Bubba, but they won’t go to YOU. Guess why. Why don’t you reread the third paragraph…I’ll wait), effectively five to ten times what the average Joe/Jane makes per hour in this country.

I’m sorry someone forced you to enroll in law school and made you sit through three years of classes. Those must have been heavy shackles to bear. How did you ever sign your temp contract with those handcuffs on? That IS your signature, right?

I’m sorry you went to law school in 1927, when there was about, what? A hundred lawyers in the entire country? With available jobs at every corner? It’s 2007, guys. In THIS century, there are about 15,000 lawyers pumped into the legal system every year, a fact known so well to so many only “The first song played on MTV was ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’” would beat it in a popular trivia contest. In three years of law school, surrounded by lawyers, being taught by lawyers, I’m sorry this glaring statistic escaped you.

I’m sorry you didn’t get that free ride you thought you would get. It’s called paying your dues people and everyone does it. The good ones, anyway.

I’m sorry you don’t realize that every time you cry, bitch, and PERSONALLY insult Evelyn, Kathryn, et al, you don’t realize you’re cutting your own throat. WHO DO YOU THINK READS YOUR BILE? How much do you think they want to help you, or for that matter even be civil to you en mass after reading your shit stained posts? Self-defeating to say the very least…

I truly am sorry for you. So, maybe if y’all stopped bitching long enough, stopped wasting work time trying to come up with a clever complaint/metaphor/allusion/insult to tell Tom and did some legitimate work, maybe you’ll get out of the “hell” you’re in.

Oh, and to Tom the “Robin Hood Wannabe” Temp, I know you think your site helps, but frankly, you’re part of the problem. Don’t give these little bitches a forum to drown themselves, to perpetuate their lameness, to continue their self-loathing spiral into oblivion. Let them complain like normal people…to their bartender.

Now, my wife and I are tired. We went to see Van Halen tonight at MSG. Floor seats, man. We rocked hard!

Thanks again for the tickets.

Anonymous

PS Believe me, I wish I could state my name. However, anyone who wants to try to defend themselves, well, I love to laugh, so to call me an asshole personally, and I know I am one, you can reach me at DougAndWendyWhiner@gmail.com. I set it up just for YOU. Now, don’t you feel appreciated?

A.

Anonymous said...

4:23: You are brilliant! SO well put.

I love you.

Doug and Wendy Whiners said...

5:13: Thanks. Very kind of you to say.

Anonymous said...

Hey Doug, your post is nothing but the very thing it purports to eliminate from this board: a whiny soliloquy about those you deem to be undeserving. That makes you a hypocrite of sorts, eh? Also, does it get embarrassing living off your wife's accomplishments? She does sound great though. Tell her I have some Bon Jovi or ZZ Top tix and that I will rock out with her much harder than you ever could. My e-mail is hothardbodystud@gmail.com - let her know. Thanks.

D & G said...

Nice try guy. One time is advice, that would be me. Over and over and over, feeding your own misery, THAT'S whining, and that's you. That you can't tell the difference is your REAL problem, but no one wants to hear the truth, do they? Truth is ugly, especially when you're in the shit, and you can't get out.
Show me where I listed MY acomplishments as comparison? You're just not observant,which would explain the temp thing ya got goin'. The wife is too classy to actually tell you guys why you don't get the jobs, and why you are where you are. I'm not though.
Swallow the pride, stop bringing yourself down, do a good job, and maybe you'll leave the shit behind.
And who know's, maybe you're working for me RIGHT NOW...

Anonymous said...

Kurt Cobain was document reviewer. That's why he took a 12 guage and blew his face off. Eat butt and fart for frogs life heads.