Milbank

"Tom,

I have learned that Milbank intends to come after anyone who disparages the firm
online. In fact the info earlier this year about 'Ally' caused the firm
to rise to her defense. But apparently the firm is finally waking up conducting
private interview with the temp and perm discovery attorneys to find out what
the problem is. It is almost hard to believe that the firm is so oblivious to
'Ally' being the problem. Nobody trusts or respects her."

Motions

Quinn Emanuel motion carried 65 - 42.

Lexolution motion carried 73- 24.

Kirkland motion carried 50 - 10.

Roast Them!

TOM:

70+ PEOPLE IN ONE ROOM SITTING ON TOP OF ONE ANOTHER AT THE
STATE-OF-THE-FART LEXOLUTION DOC REVIEW TORTURE CHAMBER ON 16 EAST
40TH STREET. IT'S THE QUINN EMANUEL PROJECT.

ONE EXIT ON THE FAR END OF THE ROOM, WITH THE OTHER EXIT ON THE OTHER
END OF THE ROOM LOCKED UNTIL THE FIRE DEP'T CAME ON TUESDAY TO FORCE
DICKHEAD OSMAN TO UNLOCK IT.

ONLY ONE CONCLUSION:

LEXOLUTION BELIEVES TEMPS ARE ALSO WITCHES AND WANTS TO ROAST THEM!!!

OR ELSE SCOTT KROW-SHITS, DICKHEAD OSMAN, AND THE OTHER TWO LESBO LEX
PARTNERS ARE NOW CANNIBALS WITH AN APPETITE FOR WELL-DONE TEMP FLESH!!

YUM-YUM!! TEMPS ARE TASTY!!

Anita Project: RIP

Thought I'd give you an update: the Anita project has officially ended. Constantine and Kirkland pulled about 10 people from the Park Ave space on the last day to work on other projects at the firm offices, and Anita came to axe the rest of us without notice. It was a good run, and despite the drama early on, it worked out pretty well for many of the temp attorneys who survived the periodic layoffs. Several contract attorneys received positions with Constantine, and two particularly well-qualified attorneys even received associate positions with Kirkland & Ellis. That said, many who showed up every day for the last year and a half are now unemployed, and the news still managed to surprise.

The Sirens

"The high thrilling song of the Sirens will transfix him, lolling in their meadow, round them heaps of corpses rotting away, rags of skin shriveling on their bones ... Race straight past that coast!"

-Homer, The Odyssey (Book 12)

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Tom,

Just be thankful that only your financial and professional well being were harmed by these sweet sounding Sirens. I had the unfortunate chance to date one of these pea-brained, prada wearing, plastic phonies. Despite some initial misgivings, I hesitatingly sailed into port, and succumbed to one of their sweet sounding, soothing songs. Paralyzed by the hymns of "I love you," and "Be with you forever," I totally discarded any notion of common sense, and was completely oblivious to the fact that my Siren was fucking another sailor - a sailor who had a gf by the way!

Now cognizant of the truth, I confronted my Siren who denied the obvious, and enchanted me with yet another tearful swan song. She did this again and again, just as she was probably contemporaneously doing a hundred other sailors, again and again. Now with emotions and self-esteem in tatters, I sail off this island with the knowledge that the same underhanded techniques, plastic smiles, and phoniness that can be used to rob you of your self-worth and manhood are the same techniques that can be used to rob you out of your paycheck. Heads up for the Sirens!