Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Graveyard of Dreams: De Novo's "Night Shift"


De Novo sent this email out yesterday afternoon. $30 flat to start work the same day and pull a mandatory "all nighter."

If you are interested in the below project, please answer all questions following the job description. Feel free to forward to anyone you think may be interested. Must be bar admitted somewhere in the US.

Start date: Tonight, 3/15 at 6pm or 7pm (tba)for training. Case room is open tonight 6pm or 7pm-8am. MUST WORK 4 HOURS AT LEAST TONIGHT.
Rate: $30 flat (no ot or time and ½ for ot)
Hours: 10-12 hrs/day
Case room hours: Mon-Sun, 9pm-8am
Location: De Novo 555 Madison, 3rd fl
Breaks: 30 min mandatory
Approximate Duration: 3/15-3/21



The stampede of coders wrangling for this gig rivaled the Japanese earthquake's Richter-scale readings. Within minutes of this broadcast email, 80% of NYC's broadband bandwidth was swamped with hordes of coders frantically pressing the "send" button, racing to get their attached resumes across the finish line first. Skyscrapers began to gently shake as the stampede gathered momentum, with some coders even donning their suits in phone booths Superman style, breaking land speed records as they gang-rushed De Novo's midtown offices. "It's a bird...it's a plane....no, it's a CODER!"

This is what it's come to, kids. "Down the road," as they say in the big house. Four years of college, the LSAT, 3 years of law school, the late nights studying until your eyes bleed, 100 K plus in loans, the bar'zam, the dues, the CLE shakedowns: all to beg for a graveyard shift gig at a whopping $30 an hour, sans OT. Trying to pay down loans at this rate is akin to using a Folgers can to bail out the Titanic: you'll drown long before the bilge is emptied.

Rumor has it that 50 desperate suit-clad souls spent last night clicking away, all too happy to swallow their pride like a cocktail of Drano
and click those docs until their eyes wept blood. We can't imagine the depths of desperation one must be in to volunteer for such a pathetic endeavor. Sadder still is that, in all likelihood, hundreds (or thousands?) of schmucks probably cried themselves to sleep last night because they didn't make the cut for this gig.

This is a watershed moment, kids. How much more mistreatment, degradation, and abuse are you "lawyers" willing to endure? In the immortal words of Dante from the film Clerks, we ask De Novo: "What's your encore? Do you anally rape my mother while puring sugar in my gas tank?"

Quite funny too how this gig began only hours after the spiffy new 2011 US News rankings came out, the lemmings going ga-ga that their toilet of choice is now ranked 159th instead of 167st, the nascent "prestige" flowing like heroin into a junkie's bicep.

Ah Bartleby! Ah humanity!

134 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lol- you speak the truth

Nando said...

Great re-entry into the fray, TtT. Did you notice how Cockroach Bob Morse at US News is no longer designating schools as third or fourth tier?

That's okay. If a man wants to declare that his 265 pound wife weighs 130 pounds, she still tips the scales at 265.

Those not assigned a numerical rank are now listed as "unranked."

http://www.law.com/jsp/nlj/PubArticleNLJ.jsp?id=1202477605227&slreturn=1&hbxlogin=1

"It's something that we're looking into," Morse said. "We do have ranking scores for all law schools but, editorially, we didn't want to say, 'This is the 188th law school [representing last place].' "

U.S. News now provides numerical rankings for the top 100 law schools, but combines the remaining schools into third and fourth tiers without distinguishing between the schools in each tier. Schools within each of those tiers are listed alphabetically. Morse said that the bottom 25% of law schools would continue to be ranked alphabetically."

What a beacon of integrity, huh?!?!

Anonymous said...

This has L4L's fingerprints all over it....is "the man" coming back?

Anonymous said...

Wolfman's heart is lifted by this subdued but plaintive expression of his own anger!!!

Outstanding L4L. We've missed thee!

Anonymous said...

Thank God Tom is back!! I was really missing your uplifting comic descriptions.

I thought you had become an Update hag - or worse a Lexpollution witch.

De Novo is De HoHo - enough said.

Anonymous said...

skip law school...i make 80k as a paralegal & dont have any debt, the jokes on you the jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on you

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpB-Sa04yBc

Are these times contagious?
I've never been this bored before
Is this the prize I've waited for?

Now as the hours passing
There's nothing left here to insure
I long to find a messenger

Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run...

Anonymous said...

"Approximate Duration: 3/15-3/21"

And the real hell of it is, all these night shift reviewers will be shitcanned in less than a week.

Anonymous said...

In the not too distant future, all remaining domestic document reviews in America will be performed on third shift. That way, the elite BigLaw overlords won't ever have to gaze upon the contract attorney rabble. Written review protocols, audio/video recordings, and e-mail messages will be the only lines of communication to the reviewers.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE this post. Ah, the prestige of law. heheh.

Anonymous said...

lol great post

Ivy Temp said...

Well done, Tommy. Well done old chap. You make it look exactly what it is - ridiculous! All for a week's work in a Dickensian dungeon.

Anonymous said...

Good to have you back Scotty B! Keep the posts coming.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Back here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've got him on the spot,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

Anonymous said...

I don't have a law degree, and this makes me sick. I worked as a paralegal for a firm like this after college, and the temp conditions were horrendous.

Lots of great people (with some idiots thrown in) virtually stuck in these nowhere jobs. No prospects, no respect, not even a proper kitchen to reheat lunch in.

Oh, and add in the insult of being monitored by lesser paid but more empowered snot-nosed paras.

Anonymous said...

Every lawyer and his brother applied for this night shift. Begging like a drunk.

I am prestigious.
I am a Juris Doctorate.
I am better than the person next to me which is what matters in life.

Anonymous said...

Dental plan lisa needs braces

Anonymous said...

dental plan / lisa needs braces guy, explain your meme. Are you saying that despite the poor quality of these jobs, that we should take them due to financial need?

Anonymous said...

skip law school...i make 80k as a paralegal & dont have any debt, the jokes on you the jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on you

Anonymous said...

Back in the document shop at good old Paul Weiss they had a night shift. Imagine the billables! 24 hours of seat filled billing pleasure.

you'd arrive at your desk in the morning, stuff would be rearranged and the seat still warm and smelling faintly of ass.

Anonymous said...

It says you must work 4 hours the first night, so how is that an all nighter? If it started at 7, you could have left at 11.

Baxter Davenport III said...

Marry rich, fuck the recruiter - do something fellas - this is no way to live. Even I had to pleasure an old nag to get my hands on her fortune. You'll never be as rich as me - but good luck!

Larry Silverberg said...

Hey Baxta!

You might got class and all that but I got more money than you! I made it selling cheap plastic junk.

I hire lawyers. Don't worry, my little son will marry your little daughter and we'll be great inlaws.

It's all about money, bitch. Hey Baxter, then you can get me into some of your fancy clubs.

Anonymous said...

I'm saying if we give up our dental plan... i'll have to pay for lisa's braces!


http://www.hulu.com/watch/26215/the-simpsons-dental-plan


Also who is the 2010 beastly award winner come on get with the program.

Anonymous said...

New Document review guys.

Location: Tokyo, Japan
Pay: $100 an hour
Requirements: admission in any U.S. jurisdiction; 1 year of doc review experience, radiation suit, canoe.

Kevin C. said...

Hahahahaha. Been there. Still doing that. Well said. I'm seriously considering burning down my law school right now. I don't get how they are considered a reputable institution. Every time I watch late night television I expect to see Sally Struthers hawking the "school", telling me that all I need is a legal edjacayshun to change my life. Bite me law school. Bite me ivory tower professors complicit in the slaughter of the dreams of our nation's best and brightest. Bite me donation requests. Especially bite me donation requests.

Anonymous said...

I have had some incredible money begging from my college and law school trying to get inheritance money called "The Strategist" and one now asking "Give back to the people you owe." Now I paid full freight to go through schools and they still claim I owe them.

DeNovo sucks! Look at the way they push people around. You have to work 4 hours with no O/T a lousy $120 which is $60 after rax.

You could make more in an hour selling hot dogs.

But a "lawyer" is to "prestigious" to do something else. Just sit there & think your currency goes up according to the US news ranking of your law school.

Lawyers are pitifu. Getting ahead by kissing ass their whole lives, they do anything to "keep up the pretense".

"I am an attorney at Paul Weis, an Amlaw 100 law firm."

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh, its good to see the lawland ICON, back in the saddle again. The great one, the lawland prophet was getting worried that all the pretenders, the ones who pretend to fight the lawland scam without even mentioning those who perpetrate it, were taking over the anti law movement. Those who shill for bar review entities and will no longer use the term 'scamblog'...the one who she is having a hissy fit with....who does good work in exposing toilet schools but won't finger the devilish PEOPLE who cause so much pain......

Scotty, I know you still held delusions of prestige and tried to gut out a 'solo' career....but hopefully you will now know once and for all that law is not for schlubby guys like you....its for the Baxter Davenports, the Jerry Seinfeld and Martha Stewart look alikes....the elite classes.

Your true calling is your scribes about the lawland scam. From begining to end. Not just the schools. You know the deal. Reclaim your throne and relish it! Give em hell Scotty! Its about time this Tom The Temp site came out of your slumber.

The great one has spoken, God bless!

Anonymous said...

Wow. There has to be a better way to find projects. This is nuts. I found this online: premiumlegalexchange.com. Took the survey for a chance at $100, too. Nice :)

Anonymous said...

Between the tacky recruiters and the ghetto staff at law firms [including many of the lawyers - the profession is just not as "noble" as it used to be] I don't eeven want to leave the house. I just feel like throwing up all the time - the law profession is basically a CESSPOOL and I blame Hollywood for its inaccurate portrayls. LA Law my ass - I work with two screeching Jew Shrew associates, a couple of fat black temps, a midget partner who cannot bear to say hello, ...the list of this freak show goes on....

Anonymous said...

I knew one Paul Weiss black hag who thought she was an actress.

An ignorant twit, and of a "Precious" size.

She gone to L.A. and got chewed up out there.

She still fat, though.

Anonymous said...

De Novo's Sandrene is probably the worst recruiter I have ever met - worse than Update hags. She places mostly her black friends - or as she calls them "hey lady" - examples of some people she placed when I was working on a project at S&C:
1. Silly giggly paralegal chick who only talked about vibrators
2. Fat black temp Michelle, more interested in conducting her real estate business than working on case documents.
3. Male attorney temp who openly read King magazine and asked female co-workers what they thought of the pictures.
I hope I never get placed by Sandrene...it's truly hell to work with her posse of unprofessional temps.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I think I'm in shock. At first I was elated to find something, anything even remotely connected to the legal profession. After 6 months of contracting, I am still grateful for work but extremely tired and close to broke! Did I mention my brush with health? Who'd-a-thought 1 emergency room visit would cost so much (luckily they take monthly minimum amount payments). Anyway, back to document review time.

Anonymous said...

Stop whining. Start the Revolution.

Hire an Esquire

Anonymous said...

Mongol General: What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42183592/ns/business-careers/

Joan King's Chronicler said...

Valvoline Dean: Hot damn! Enrollments are up! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?!

Dean Matasar: The open road, a fast car, a chick on your dick, and the wind in your hair.

Valvoline Dean: Wrong! Joan King! What is best in life?!

Joan King: To crush your lemmings, see them admitted before you, and to hear the lamentations of the graduates!

Valvoline Dean: That is good! That is good.

Baxter Davenport III said...

7:53 Mr. Silverberg,

If you really have all the money you claim to have, it would be my pleasure to do business with you. [I may not like you, but why hold that against your money]. Not sure about your daughter - your women grow up to be screechy Jew Shrews - especially if they happen to earn a law degree - no matter how lowly the school. Yikes, I'll take my old horsey WASP nag of a wife any day!

B!tch N!gger said...

Hey anonymous:

FUCK YOU.

Anonymous said...

skip law school...i make 80k as a paralegal & dont have any debt, the jokes on you the jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on you

skip law school...i make 80k as a paralegal & dont have any debt, the jokes on you the jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on you

skip law school...i make 80k as a paralegal & dont have any debt, the jokes on you the jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on youthe jokes on you

Anonymous said...

You are saying "skip law school" but everyone here already went. They made the mistake of their life.
Try to talk to the lemmings applying and they will not listen and say:
"I wanted to be a lawyer since I was 5"
"I am not going to practice law. It's just a good thing to have."
"It is better than an M.B.A." (this is the best)
"Just because it didn't work out for you doesn't mean that's true for everyone."

For people who have paid and taken the bar, they have to keep up the pretense because to admit the mistake would be saying they wasted their whole life.
"I'm still happy I did it. It was the right move."

Lawyers crave prestige. Because they are from middle class families. They need to do everything to promote their image. Even when they temp at Paul Weiss they say
"I am an attorney at law an officer of the court working at an Amlaw 100 law firm. I am better than the person next to me."

Anonymous said...

I worked hard, spent $200k, took Bar Bri, and now have to sleep with the big hair agency bimbettes and give them cuntilingus to get a $25 per hr. temp job with no benefits. All my friends have their noses in the agency pussy.

Anonymous said...

You are saying "skip law school" but everyone here already went. They made the mistake of their life.


Not true, I know many people who haven't gone to law school & visit this site to get an inkling as to what's in store for them if they do not go to a Tier 1 school. Its 1st Tier or bust people, dont waste your time, do not go to a Tier 2 school, do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to jail!

Reginald Upton Wentworth IV said...

"Yale or fail."

Anonymous said...

4:31

You mean, smegma. Not pussy. It's smegma something foul you're eating, and I've gotten used to sticking my finger in my throat afterwards.

Along with flossing to extricate those jerry-curled pubes.

What I have to do to earn a quarter and the most boring fucking work imaginable....

Ivy Temp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Agency chicks are basically cheap salesgirls. It is below my status to have anything to do with them.

Anonymous said...

And De Novo is the worst - it should be called De Nigerian.

Anonymous said...

It's hard for Caucasians when their dreams start to die. Who to blame? They ARE the man. The insanity of the hatred and contempt for "blacks", "Jews", and "Nigerians" always makes me laugh. Bless your hearts.

Polyester Polly said...

You peoples should register with my agency. Check out the bevy of beauties we send in for assignment.

Anonymous said...

I'm so exhausted. I spent all night doing an agency whore to land a $25 per hour gig no OT for two weeks.
But I've been eating out of a garbage can.

Anonymous said...

Where is everyone?

Where are all the funny witty comments this site if famous for?

I see Polyester Polly has made a comeback.

Where is Sonia, Recruiter, Beer Drinking Temp - ???

Where is everyone???

Is everyone working?

Come on people - wake up!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The best part of waking up
Is Folgers in your cup.

:)

selling my jd said...

a truly beautiful commentary on this post..... the truth expressed very well.. beautiful

Anonymous said...

FUCK ALL OF YOU.

WHERE IS SONIA???

SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER MADE ANY SENSE!!!

Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with the graveward shift. At least one can masterbate and get paid $30 an hour. Now how great is that?

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Nigerians, why is every fucking Nigerian lawyer in NY working in the bowels of Sullivan & Cromwell?

How do they conspire to get these gigs and stay on them? Is there a secret handshake?

I'm gonna guess that it may have to do with the fact that the agencies staffing these gigs love the billing habits of these people: 80-90 hour workweeks. (But actual time spent coding is about 14. The rest of the time they aren't actually there, are shopping, or conducting some shady business on the side.)

Anonymous said...

LOL - its been two years Im trapped - SHOOT ME!!

Anonymous said...

Oh...and if those fools open their mouths you just go and Smack Da Black Off Em!!

Anonymous said...

3:57 There are several agencies who have black women as recruiters and these women love to put blacks and Nigerians on gigs. Notably,
1. Sandrene of De Hoho
2. Marjorie of Strageic
3. Wendy of Update

I have no problem with Nigerians and blacks who do the work, but some of these people are not the best workers. A Nigerian paralegal who threatened to choke me because I asked her to be quite on a project - is working steadily at Sullivan and other places thanks to these agencies - while people like me who actually do the work and simply ask for a pleasant decent work envionment find themselves unemployed because of these bitches. That's the temp world - it is total trash.

Anonymous said...

Big Mama Dawn at S&C is another one who keeps all the worthless shit employed - a black girl I worked with told me she was very close to Dawn - because "we black girls stick together" - [this fat chick was totally unemployable, fat, lazy and totally ghetto but was at S&C thanks to Dawn] and make life hell for everyone else - particulary any attractive woman of normal weight

Anonymous said...

I can't help myself ...

Dawn at S&C = mega-moron. Dawn: "Let me go axe the partner." "Let me go axe the associate." Hey Dawn, were they hurt badly when you axed them?

And on the issue of all the black people, especially Nigerians and West Indians on all these projects, not just S&C ...

What's up with that? I have all sorts of explanations, but I'll keep them to myself. I'll let other posters discuss. But I will say this:

I went to an NYC law school, a big one. Let me tell you, there were seriously like 3 black people attending. I've asked a lot of people over the years (especially people who went to NY law schools (and including black people): "were there many black people at your law school." The answer every time: "No, there were almost none."

And yet ... go work on any project in NYC and everybody is black, mostly African and West Indian. How's that?

Example: I worked on a project a while back (12 reviewers) where not only was the ONLY white person, 9 of the 11 other reviewers were either African or West Indian. How is that?

This is not unusual. I am on a project right now where I am the ONLY white person.

Not only is this not unusual, it's the norm. So, what's up with that?

I know all the black people will say: "it's because all the white people got all the good, permanent jobs because of discrimination against blacks, so we're left with the crumbs of the legal industry ... doc review. And you're doing it too because even though you're white and have all the advantages, you're a loser" Yeah, right. Wrong answer.

I've been doing this a long time and I think I have a few explanations as to why taking a doc review gig in NYC is like going on Safari in Africa ... but, I'll let you figure it out.

Comments are encouraged.

A Beltway Broad said...

"You're doing it too because even though you're white and have all the advantages, you're a loser"
:) This is killing you people!!! :)

A Beltway Broad said...

The question isn't why are all those Nigerians working doc review; the question is why are all we good, hard-working, white people chasing doc review assignments? Why aren't we partners at the law firms running these doc reviews? That's the question that needs to be answered.

Anonymous said...

God help you if get into an altercation with a Nigerian temp - you will be blacklisted by Marjorie, Sandrene and Wendy. Even though you were the professional one and the temp was being ghetto.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do / I bless the rains
down in Africa / Gonna take some time to do the things we never had ...

Anonymous said...

Has anyone ever worked with Nadine Bocelli - what's the story with these old hags? I went there to regsiter and one old broad with a leathery face just continued to admire my handbag instead of talking about jobs??? Anyone had experience with these chicks??

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!

Anonymous said...

A Beltway Broad-

Fat or overweight
Ugly
Went to a shitty school

Needs to get laid

Anonymous said...

Anonymous: law school graduate. coder. bitter.

Anonymous said...

Correction: Anonymous. T1 graduate. Law Review. Movie-star looks. Coder. Bitter.

Davina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Considering this blog has a decent following we need to do something about the Flat rates and low pay. Lawyers are an exemption to the Labor law of OT, but if we collectively try to change the law via rallying support of government officials maybe we can get it changed. Our votes add up quicker than temp agencies ...

Anonymous said...

I am black and thought that Marjorie of Strategic was a total b*tch and tool when I met her. I totally disagree that she favors blacks. She was always nasty to me. I guess you have to kiss her butt. As I type this, I realize why she did not like me. I did not agree to every bullsh*t assignment that she tried to place me on. God help you as a temp, if you have any standards! We all are struggling in the Great Recession. I think we need to leave the racial element out of it. The agencies win every time because we create divisions amongst ourselves instead of turning the heat on them. We MUST unite against the agencies! What is going on with the turnover at Update? A lot of the newer recruiters (i.e: RikSan, Melissa, etc) are no longer there. They have turned into a bigger dump!

Anonymous said...

I said it Once ,, I will say it again.... If they open their big mouths..........SMACK DA BLACK OF EM!!!!

Anonymous said...

Big Mama Dawn at S&C is another one who keeps all the worthless shit employed - a black girl I worked with told me she was very close to Dawn - because "we black girls stick together" - [this fat chick was totally unemployable, fat, lazy and totally ghetto but was at S&C thanks to Dawn] and make life hell for everyone else - particulary any attractive woman of normal weight

Call her by her other moniker, the one I, the misanthrope in the iron bathtub coined, BLACKIE BLACK!
It overjoys me to read comments such as these, as they prove what I have maintained all along. But such is the hyopcrisy in this day and age--everyone can be and, indeed, is encouraged to be racially conscious, except whites.
I will close witha little ditty I am penning, set to the tune of that odious, culturally vapid Saturday Morning cartoon Richie Rich--BLACKIE BLACK:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suGUQW-_hVc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz7zon0QUbw&feature=fvwrel

How black can you get?

You never really know ‘til you’ve met

This nigger, Blackie Black is her name

Ebonics, the Ghetto, Militant Black Power—that’s her game

She’s black enough to be in the Stereotype Hall of Fame

And her shit skin is as black as her name

That’s Black!

Blackie Black!

The Blackie Black Show!

California Lemon Law said...

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Anonymous said...

It's a sad state of affairs. I'd have to be really hungry to ever work for De Novo again. No overtime no matter how many hours you work.

Anonymous said...

You think the NY office is bad? Try the DC one. Their idiot Matt thinks it is totally appropriate to scream at people because of a possible misstatement of one person. He's the worst that I've ever encountered.

Anonymous said...

I should have listened to my parents & should have taken the civil service exams, I could have become a fireman straight outta high school w/ 10 years of service under my belt, HIGHER EDUCATION IS A SCAM EXPENSIVE ISOLATION FROM SOCIETY DAMN YOU SALLIE MAE!!

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That's okay. If a man wants to declare that his 265 pound wife weighs 130 pounds, she still tips the scales at 265.

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Anonymous said...

I can honestly say that I have never seen a more hateful, racist display in my lifetime. Granted, I'm Gen X, so I may have been lulled into a false sense of security - but my God....

Totally blown away. Truly. Good to know what my fellow reviewers are really thinking of me when I think we're being collegial.

Just...wow.

Cheap wedding dresses said...

Congratulations for making to the summit. I bet this such a wonderful feeling to all the participants, specially to you guys. With all the effort and sweats you have shed...thanks for the share.

laidoffdiary said...

Can someone give me some money? just for funsies?

Laura said...

$30 an hour! Our area is paying all of $22-25, and you have to be there from 8-5, and if you have to go to the bathroom or take a call from the babysitter becuase your child is bleeding to death you practically have to raise your hand to get out!!! God forbid you ask for a couple hours off to go to a doctors appointment.

rewinn said...

Skippin' the racist comments to express compassion for the many young lawyers gettin' scroooed ...

... it's not much help but if you need free CLE, here's a list of online resources.

Good luck!

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Anonymous said...

I am an attorney in Texas. I'm considering doing Doc Review and I would be so happy to make $30 an hour. I work for a firm now where we make about $27.50 on salary.

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Anonymous said...

I love you man. I hope that one day one of us gets in a position of power and tells the doc review company they won't be hired because of the way they treat their temps. This is so wrong.

Attorney in Fort Worth said...

Poor, poor lawyers and law students.

Will the market eventually solve this, or will it take too long while we have a generation of lawyers looking for work?

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reynwah said...

I am a document review attorney. My thoughts:


• No one owes you a job. Not ever.
• You may have to fight to keep your job.
• No one forced you to go to law school.
• You worked hard to get into law school.
• No one forced you to take out student loans.
• No one forced you to go to law school full time, requiring you to pay most (or all) of your tuition and living expenses through student loans.
• Going to law school is one of the most important decisions a person can make in their lifetimes.
o (It is much more consequential than buying a house. You either knew exactly what you were getting into, or you didn’t even scratch the surface researching. (How many practicing attorneys did you call or sit down with to talk about their careers. Most of them are delighted to do this. In my ten years as an attorney, I’ve never been contacted once by anyone asking about what it is “really like” to be a lawyer.)
• The job market for new grads has been tight for years.
• Twenty-five or 30 dollars an hour is two or even three times what tens of millions of Americans will ever make.
• (If you think working an overnight shift doing document review is tough, try working the night shift at IHOP as a line cook, or as a C.O. in a penitentiary, or as a roughneck on an oil-platform in the gulf, or in a mail-sorting warehouse for the post office. It is also considerably more than I ever made as an assistant public defender, a job that I loved and should not have taken for granted, as I once did.)
• The job market for lawyers is tough, especially recent grads.
o (Yes, it was easier in the late 90s. But you must have realized that this country has been in harsh recessions in the past (and even one depression). Either you realized that the next recession was not a question of “if” but rather of “when” – or you’re a damn fool.)
• You may not like being a lawyer, but with a J.D. and a bar card, you still can work in a profession where the overall unemployment rate is about 3%.
o (If you have read this much, but are still bitter about everything that has happened to you (or rather, about all the choices you’ve made), read about people’s lives in other countries or at other times. Read “Germinal” by Emile Zola (about coal miners in f in de siècle France. Read “Nickeled and Dimed” by Barbara Ehrenreich, about her experiences working for minimum wage in contemporary America. Read Ted Conover about what it’s like to be a migrant worker, or about his experiences as a C.O. in Sing-Sing prison. Read Vasily Grossman about what it was like to be a Russian solider on the Eastern Front in World War Two. Read anything by Dickens, who worked in a cannery at the tender age of twelve.)

Feel content to bitch, whine, moan, and bewail your fate. But please keep in mind that doing this on a regular basis is a sure route to becoming clinically depressed, and that – in contrast – keep a “gratitude diary” (i.e., “I am grateful I am alive.” “I am grateful that I live in a still very prosperous and free democracy, and not rural China or Africa or Russia.” “I am grateful I that I am loved.” “I am grateful that I can read and have access to potable water, as more than a billion people living today don’t.”

If you have read this far, thank you for hearing me out.

reynwah said...

I am a document review attorney. My thoughts:


• No one owes you a job. Not ever.
• You may have to fight to keep your job.
• No one forced you to go to law school.
• You worked hard to get into law school.
• No one forced you to take out student loans.
• No one forced you to go to law school full time, requiring you to pay most (or all) of your tuition and living expenses through student loans.
• Going to law school is one of the most important decisions a person can make in their lifetimes.
o (It is much more consequential than buying a house. You either knew exactly what you were getting into, or you didn’t even scratch the surface researching. (How many practicing attorneys did you call or sit down with to talk about their careers. Most of them are delighted to do this. In my ten years as an attorney, I’ve never been contacted once by anyone asking about what it is “really like” to be a lawyer.)
• The job market for new grads has been tight for years.
• Twenty-five or 30 dollars an hour is two or even three times what tens of millions of Americans will ever make.
• (If you think working an overnight shift doing document review is tough, try working the night shift at IHOP as a line cook, or as a C.O. in a penitentiary, or as a roughneck on an oil-platform in the gulf, or in a mail-sorting warehouse for the post office. It is also considerably more than I ever made as an assistant public defender, a job that I loved and should not have taken for granted, as I once did.)
• The job market for lawyers is tough, especially recent grads.
o (Yes, it was easier in the late 90s. But you must have realized that this country has been in harsh recessions in the past (and even one depression). Either you realized that the next recession was not a question of “if” but rather of “when” – or you’re a damn fool.)
• You may not like being a lawyer, but with a J.D. and a bar card, you still can work in a profession where the overall unemployment rate is about 3%.
o (If you have read this much, but are still bitter about everything that has happened to you (or rather, about all the choices you’ve made), read about people’s lives in other countries or at other times. Read “Germinal” by Emile Zola (about coal miners in f in de siècle France. Read “Nickeled and Dimed” by Barbara Ehrenreich, about her experiences working for minimum wage in contemporary America. Read Ted Conover about what it’s like to be a migrant worker, or about his experiences as a C.O. in Sing-Sing prison. Read Vasily Grossman about what it was like to be a Russian solider on the Eastern Front in World War Two. Read anything by Dickens, who worked in a cannery at the tender age of twelve.)

Feel content to bitch, whine, moan, and bewail your fate. But please keep in mind that doing this on a regular basis is a sure route to becoming clinically depressed, and that – in contrast – keep a “gratitude diary” (i.e., “I am grateful I am alive.” “I am grateful that I live in a still very prosperous and free democracy, and not rural China or Africa or Russia.” “I am grateful I that I am loved.” “I am grateful that I can read and have access to potable water, as more than a billion people living today don’t.”

If you have read this far, thank you for hearing me out.

reynwah said...

I am a document review attorney. My thoughts:

• No one owes you a job. Not ever.
• You may have to fight to keep your job.
• No one forced you to go to law school.
• You worked hard to get into law school.
• No one forced you to take out student loans.
• No one forced you to go to law school full time, requiring you to pay most (or all) of your tuition and living expenses through student loans.
• Going to law school is one of the most important decisions a person can make in their lifetimes.
o (It is much more consequential than buying a house. You either knew exactly what you were getting into, or you didn’t even scratch the surface researching. (How many practicing attorneys did you call or sit down with to talk about their careers. Most of them are delighted to do this. In my ten years as an attorney, I’ve never been contacted once by anyone asking about what it is “really like” to be a lawyer.)
• The job market for new grads has been tight for years.
• Twenty-five or 30 dollars an hour is two or even three times what tens of millions of Americans will ever make.
• (If you think working an overnight shift doing document review is tough, try working the night shift at IHOP as a line cook, or as a C.O. in a penitentiary, or as a roughneck on an oil-platform in the gulf, or in a mail-sorting warehouse for the post office. It is also considerably more than I ever made as an assistant public defender, a job that I loved and should not have taken for granted, as I once did.)
• The job market for lawyers is tough, especially recent grads.
o (Yes, it was easier in the late 90s. But you must have realized that this country has been in harsh recessions in the past (and even one depression). Either you realized that the next recession was not a question of “if” but rather of “when” – or you’re a damn fool.)
• You may not like being a lawyer, but with a J.D. and a bar card, you still can work in a profession where the overall unemployment rate is about 3%.
o (If you have read this much, but are still bitter about everything that has happened to you (or rather, about all the choices you’ve made), read about people’s lives in other countries or at other times. Read “Germinal” by Emile Zola (about coal miners in f in de siècle France. Read “Nickeled and Dimed” by Barbara Ehrenreich, about her experiences working for minimum wage in contemporary America. Read Ted Conover about what it’s like to be a migrant worker, or about his experiences as a C.O. in Sing-Sing prison. Read Vasily Grossman about what it was like to be a Russian solider on the Eastern Front in World War Two. Read anything by Dickens, who worked in a cannery at the tender age of twelve.)

Feel content to bitch, whine, moan, and bewail your fate. But please keep in mind that doing this on a regular basis is a sure route to becoming clinically depressed, and that – in contrast – keep a “gratitude diary” (i.e., “I am grateful I am alive.” “I am grateful that I live in a still very prosperous and free democracy, and not rural China or Africa or Russia.” “I am grateful I that I am loved.” “I am grateful that I can read and have access to potable water, as more than a billion people living today don’t.”

If you have read this far, thank you for hearing me out.

Anonymous said...

I am a document review attorney. My thoughts:

Freight Broker vs Agent said...

The question isn't why are all those Nigerians working doc review; the question is why are all we good, hard-working, white people chasing doc review assignments? Why aren't we partners at the law firms running these doc reviews? That's the question that needs to be answered.

Anonymous said...

All of these temp agencies and their clients are violating the NYS wage and hours laws. Document reviewers need to get together and hire a militant employee's rights law firm to pursue both complaints to relevant agencies and class action suits (where fees may be recoverable form the proceeds). Also, it is time for a document reviewers union and strike action acroiss the board with all agencies and their sweatshop clients.

Anonymous said...

All of these temp agencies and their clients are violating the NYS wage and hour laws. Document reviewers need to get together and hire a militant employee's rights law firm to pursue both complaints to relevant agencies and class action suits (where fees may be recoverable from the proceeds). Also, it is time for a document reviewers’ union and strike action across the board with all agencies and their sweatshop clients.

Anonymous said...

All of these temp agencies and their clients are violating the NYS wage and hour laws. Document reviewers need to get together and hire a militant employee's rights law firm to pursue both complaints to relevant agencies and class action suits (where fees may be recoverable from the proceeds). Also, it is time for a document reviewers’ union and strike action across the board with all agencies and their sweatshop clients.

Anonymous said...

All of these temp agencies and their clients are violating the NYS wage and hour laws. Document reviewers need to get together and hire a militant employee's rights law firm to pursue both complaints to relevant agencies and class action suits (where fees may be recoverable from the proceeds). Also, it is time for a document reviewers’ union and strike action across the board with all agencies and their sweatshop clients.

Anonymous said...

All of these temp agencies and their clients are violating the NYS wage and hour laws. Document reviewers need to get together and hire a militant employee's rights law firm to pursue both complaints to relevant agencies and class action suits (where fees may be recoverable from the proceeds). Also, it is time for a document reviewers’ union and strike action across the board with all agencies and their sweatshop clients.

Anonymous said...

All of these temp agencies and their clients are violating the NYS wage and hour laws. Document reviewers need to get together and hire a militant employee's rights law firm to pursue both complaints to relevant agencies and class action suits (where fees may be recoverable from the proceeds). Also, it is time for a document reviewers’ union and strike action across the board with all agencies and their sweatshop clients.

Anonymous said...

I'm new to doc reivew and won't be doing it long as I'm doing it while I interview.

I have never been so disgusted by my fellow attorneys as I am by this abuse. 80 hours a week, no overtime, and it's not attorney work, or work that requires more than a modicum of knowledge of a few legal terms.

Did the staffing firm not notice all of the employment law and FLSA experience on my resume? The DOL is investigating the company right now.

I can't be blacklisted, and the staffing firm wants me to use their services when I start my new position. Well, I won't use the services of a such a sleazy operation that is wilfully violating the FLSA.

This is going to be fun.

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