Monday, November 02, 2009

The "Distinguished" Legal Profession



At BYU, a law student shows up to class donning full military garb. In NYC, a distinguished Harvard grad tries to torch a church containing the remains of several 9/11 victims using teddy bears as kindling. In a certain document review dungeon that shall remain nameless, disgusting creatures fornicate with each other in filthy basement stalls. Across town, a legal staffing agency hungry for a profit neglects their due diligence and staffs a project with a sexual predator. When heading off to work in the distinguished profession of law, don't forget to bring your mace!

121 comments:

Nando said...

The "profession" of law is certainly not distinguished. Although, it is distinct in that it has SUCH a high burnout rate while requiring extensive post-secondary education, often immense student debt, thousands of dollars in license exam preparation, etc.

It is also distinct in that many practitioners give away their services. And it is also distinct in that its trade association (ABA) does not seek to protect the industry it collects money and dues from. Instead, the ABA accredits more law schools even though we are producing way more law grads than there are available attorney or law-related postions.

Also, look at the work product and working conditions, i.e. cut-and-paste motions/legal slop and lawyers/doc review specialists being crammed in basements.

What is comically sad is that so many young people (and even some of the dinosaurs still representing criminal defendants on the court-appointed list) still think that this is some honorable, noble, and just "profession."

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ToiletLawyer said...

Candy came from out on the Island
In the backroom she was everybody's darlin'
But she never lost her head
Even when she was giving head
She says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
I Said, Hey baby
Take a walk on the wild side
And the coloured girls go
Doo do doo do doo do do doo..

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Anonymous said...

9:23 AM

All true.

But the young people you mention cannot do anything else, or think that.
People have known for years that tech and engineering are better careers. Overwhelmingly lawyers are bad at math.

It is also in their interest to puff up being a lawyer to make themselves seem important. This is key for middle class people.

Anonymous said...

I worked on a project where there was a guy who turned out had been turned down for bar admission (which is almost impossible) who was hitting on the associates and scrounging for temp love.

At one major law firm Delaware office they removed couches from the partners office after one partner was noisily making love to nubile young associates.

A Cravath partner was murdered in a gay love hotel. Another Cravath partner is on charges for soliciting underage sex from a willing mommy.

Mommy knows best...where her pocketbook is concerned.

Anonymous said...

Bring mace to the job, contraceptives, and don't be afraid of your period.

Anonymous said...

Michelle Vega - Do these agencies even pretend to be not using big tits in your face? Luscious lactating twins?

Anonymous said...

I remember when I got sworn in in a court with a marble bust of Bejamin Cardozo the judge told the drivers license like crowd of how proud they and their families should be of their achievement. It's been downhill from there. Being a prostitute is more noble than being a lawyer. The Nigerians were smiling taking photo-ops that day. Maybe happy that they outsmarted the system while everyone else was drowning in $200k of debt and three years wasted so that they could have the privilege of campus life. Like the Touro professor test driving every hot body on campus. Then throwing them away for the next slutty looking airhead.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone see that embarrassing lawsuit filed by a Miami law professor against David Lat? My 10 year old son could write something better in crayon. Also, the Florida Supreme Court recently ruled that there is no such thing as an "invasion of privacy" tort in Fla anymore. 40 k a year to be taught by idiotic Reverand Write screaming hacks!

Anonymous said...

Enough lies about Sullivan already! Pissed you got fired DNR from there? Get a clue.

Anonymous said...

The worst part is trying to get out of the field to do something else. Nobody is going to want to hire you because everyone "knows" lawyers make a ton of money and it's such a great profession, so why don't you "just go work for a big firm?" They all think getting a job is easy and lawyers have it good, but the reality is the jobs are near impossible to get and the law degree just closes doors.

Law should really be a 4 year major at an undergrad, just as it is in most countries. Medical school makes sense in terms of having extra schooling, but for law it really doesn't.

I usually don't want to blame the government for people's mistakes, but it is no secret the government has been pushing for young people to go into debt for higher education through media propaganda and loan programs. You absolutely can not intentionally mislead so much of the population and then wash your hands of the results. Good luck to everyone in this god forsaken field. Hopefully we can all get out of this and do something productive. I personally am looking into being a school teacher, and I am going to make absolutely certain to explain to all the children the consequences of educational decisions. I'll at least be able to wake up every morning feeling that I did do something positive, without having to fight someone tooth and nail for it.

Anonymous said...

I'm a newbie and not sure where to ask but I have some basic questions about document review jobs. How long does it typically take for a project to become fully staffed? Do you respond to anonymous ads on Craig's List? Has anyone been rejected for a project? Thanks, I appreciate any feedback.

Anonymous said...

232,

go move and get out of here

FanOfTrailerTom said...

Well, as Trailer Tom keeps pointing out, y'all yankee types have only yourselves to blame for gravitating towards such a dead-end "profession." Though it will doubtless be scant consolation to hear that science and tech jobs are also deep in the Sh!t. Best to heed the sage words of Trailer Tom and grab a beer.

Anonymous said...

Dear all the wannabe schoolteachers out there,

You are all falling for a trap yet again. Granted, it probably won't set you back 6 figures in debt. But... after all your training and certification to become a teacher, you will once again find yourselves unemployed. Go ahead, roll the dice. I dare you. Despite the hype, not only are school districts freezing teacher hiring and salaries, but most school districts are cutting both. Top that off with all the hype and now flow of unemployed people wanting to become teachers. You've got a recipe for disaster. By this time 2 years from now, there will be competition to see if the nation is more oversupplied with lawyers or teachers. Perhaps massive amounts of people will even be counted into both camps.

Take a breath, and re-assess what the economy really needs right now and the new future. It's not teachers.

Anonymous said...

Education and health care are both in high bubble phase right now.

Anonymous said...

Why, oh why, does everybody keep referring to the law as a "profession"? It ceased to be that years ago. It is just like any other business in America. For proft. It is a commodity. Why is everybody so "shocked" at what we get paid, shocked that we have been duped? That it is a fraud? I mean, come on. Look at the business/financial history of this company. The worker is fucked.

Anonymous said...

That is definitely a concern with teaching, actually teaching has always been rather competitive and it took a lot of litigation to open teaching up for minority teachers just a decade or two ago.

But, depending on all the factors involved, it could be a good move. I agree with the poster though that chances are it won't lead to a job.

Still, I think any plan to escape from law is a good one, so everyone should consider all their options.

Anonymous said...

12:13

Seems everyone knows about Cravvie now. Snuffy, Skeeter, Deeva, Susan, Lil' Kim... Over at Cravvie, the wine is flowin', the snow is blowin', and people are gettin' their freak on everyday!!!

Why just yesterday, Susan and that new Romanian temp guy (we'll call him "Nico") were caught poundin' it in her closet, with Snuffy takin' pictures with his Blackberry!

Anonymous said...

Is that the Albanian guy?

Anonymous said...

What is "DNR"?
Is that staff attorney code word at the dungeon land?

Emily said...

Animal scum.

Anonymous said...

Are Whoredan and Summoface fornicating in that basement bathroom again? Easy way to tell if its them it will smell like bacon and eggrolls.

"Do Not Return" - its something CREEPY JEALOUS staff attorneys use to keep temps from returning to make an honest living.

Maybe instead of being so touchy and jealous that we make more than they do they should get a life, reform that nasty attitude, and while theyre at it, replace those cheap ass polyester bell bottoms with something that actually looks classy and professional.

Anonymous said...

DNR = Do Not Resuscitate

Anonymous said...

DNR?

Why is Cravvie doing with the Romanian?

Helga said...

We all know that law is no longer a profession. Soon medicine will no longer be a profession either - anyone who has lived in a European country and had extensive contact their health care system knows this. Not that I'm against "universal" health care reform - but I do believe that all "professions" will soon be a thing of the past.

Anonymous said...

Just because it's hard to get a teaching job doesn't mean it isn't a million times better of a career than law, with more opportunities. With tenure there is also job security to some extent.

Medicine will always be a better profession than law and respected.

Don't try to do misery loves company. You picked the worst field and now are paying the big price. It is only a question of how long before you realize this. Or maybe keep doing doc review. "I am a doctorate of law and an attorney at Paul Weiss."

Anonymous said...

At BYU, it was a Hallowe'en costume. As for the staffing issue, if someone is called to the bar, a criminal records check is NOT something that should generally be done (for some files, yes, and I realize some/many agencies do it as a matter of course, but they shouldn't in my view - and no, I have no record!).

As for bemoaning the law not being a profession, it's hypocritical for many on this blog to do so: judging from the comments on this site (both the "quality" and the content, i.e. what lawyers do), many of them neither write nor behave professionally. Sorry, but surfing the Internet and lengthy phone calls while being paid is NOT professional, it is unethical. If you're being treated poorly by your employer agency, suck it up, quit, sue, report illegalities, whatever. Deliberately doing a half-assed incompetent job or being paid for non-work is unethical, arguably illegal, and generally immoral. The employing agency or supervisors (lawyers or not) may be worse; but you can't control their professionalism, only your own.

Anonymous said...

You ppl all suck & should be gassed..what a waste of life, when is this comet gonna hit us so we can start anew..tired of always seeing this ghetto trash on the train..public assistance parasites...Precious anyone?

Anonymous said...

Yesterday we reported that Latham & Watkins might lay off up to 150 people.

Isn’t optimism great?

This morning we learn Latham has cut 440 employees — 190 associates and 250 staff. The cuts are the largest to date by a US-based firm.

Managing Partner Bob Dell:

The depth and duration of this recession is unprecedented and we expect the health of the global economy to remain weak at least through 2009. While our diversified practices and global platform provide the stability and strength to navigate these turbulent market conditions, we must adjust our staffing levels in line with the projected needs of our clients. . . . We will be offering a comprehensive separation package, including payment of six months salary and six months of continued medical benefits, as well as other resources to support this transition. . . . ”
As we reported, profits per equity partner dropped 21% to $1.8 million in 2008, while revenues fell 4% from to $1.9 billion.

Latham & Watkins LLP is one of the largest law firms in the world, currently employing around 1,900 attorneys in the US, Europe, the Middle East and Asia. The firm was started in Los Angeles in 1934 and has extensive California roots, but its largest office is now in New York City.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy being an attorney and think it's a great profession. Substanative legal work is FUN and reletively interesting.

I agree about the doc. review nonsense, but hey people it's TEMP work. It's not like you need to be making a fucking career out of it.

Get a real job. Do a good job (note that doesn't mean sitting in front of a computer 12 hours a day like a fat slob and snitching on anyonke who takes a 40 minute break). Within in a year, you'll get the respect you deserve and also get the money.

And don't give me this BS about you can't find a job. If you took a parttime job in school or took part in any of the clinics, you'd have a job. Even if you didn't have one, if you took a slight pay cut from what you make reviewing docs, you'd find something. Working 70 hours a week in a sweatshop reviewing docs so you can make 100K is STUPID and somewhat crazy.

Do you people honestly beleive the stuff that you write on this site? What's wrong with you?

Anonymous said...

"I enjoy being an attorney and think it's a great profession."

"I am a doctorate. I am proud to be an counselor at the law and a member of the court. I am very important and distinguished."
"It's so grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"
Blah, blah, blah.

"It's easy to find a job. Very easy."

Yes unlike you poker-face most people here right about the REALITY and statistics. Not just empty words about how proud you are of yourself. "I am a doctorate."

The number of unemployed lawyers is well known. STATISTICS not your empty talk show that 90% are unhappy in the field and that the majority are doing non-legal work.

Must be really grrrrrrrrreat.
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.

I love doc review. If I work day and night and never take a minute off I can make $80k, half taxable and the rest expenses. I am a attorney with Paul Weiss Rifkind, and people admire me.

Anonymous said...

I love being a lawyer.
I also love having an electric dildo shoved up my ass and to fantasize about tonguing the agency girls and milking their lactating twins into my mouth.

Anonymous said...

Ay Ay Ay, this chilly cha cha muy bonito. Ay Ay Ay, lo que siento en el corazon. Ay Ay Ay, this chilly cha cha calentito. Ay Ay Ay, to dos le bailan si ...

Anonymous said...

The legal industry is still a distinguished, highly regarded and rewarding profession. You guys aren't part of it though. You are just lowly support staff/subhumans, not real lawyers.

Anonymous said...

Helga

I have lived in a European country as a child (I was born there), and spend a lot of time in Europe (Italy, Germany, Hungary, Austria, UK, Denmark).

How is it that you say doctors in Europe aren't professionals anymore? I don't see that at all. The work they do is substantively pretty much the same as in the US.

Anonymous said...

"The legal industry is still a distinguished, highly regarded and rewarding profession. "

When you say this don't forget to use your Four score and seven years ago voice. Full pomp and circumstance in order!

Anonymous said...

Law is a bubble. If you don't believe it, track law school enrollment and tuition on a historical graph. Any fool who enrolls in law school now is making a horrible financial decision. It would be like buying a Miami condo in early '06 with a low cost option ARM. Fortunately, young people today are tech saavy and this information is widely available on the internet, which doesn't excuse the fact by the way that law schools still engage in outright employment reporting fraud. There are certainly no jobs for college grads at this time, but that will eventually pass. Anyone who thinks they can weather this economic storm by riding out the time in a high priced private TTT is making the biggest mistake of their lives. The law schools and ABA will lure you in, suck every last bit of available credit out of you, then spit you out with an unemployable credential. Good luck!

Helga said...

Euro doctor's office: no assistant, no nurses, no receptionist. Doc takes care of everything his or herself. I walked into one office where the doctor sat at a table with patient cards in a metal box. He (the doctor) smelled bad and had dirty hair. The waiting room was filthy. The only medical office that I visited that even started to approach US standards was at a university medical school. The care there was very good, but the general practioners that I saw were uniformly overworked and financially not well off at all. Substantively, they did not even perform routine screenings (paps, breast exams, etc.) even when such screenings were requested by the patient, and they did not order mammograms. I was told that, as a matter of policy, such screenings were only given to women who were already symptomatic.

Helga said...

4:00 - you obviously lack situational awareness.

Helga said...

BTW, the doctors' offices that I visited were in Holland.

devastator said...

Tom,

Great blog! I was a temp one time, but my working conditions were a little more humane.

Everyone considering law school should be a follower of this blog.

Anonymous said...

Even Harvard and Yale grads can't find jobs, and we still have these idiots on here claiming it's easy to get a job. Even the few places that are hiring only want someone with 5-10 years of legit exp, i.e., people that can run their own firms now anyway.

You don't measure the strength of a profession by looking at how many 10 year experienced people can find entry level jobs, you look at it for entry level jobs and 10 year exp jobs.

Law sucks. I spent all day in court, going all over NYC because I had to be in 3 different ones. No other profession requires people to spread themselves so thin because they have to take anything that comes their way. I just got a resume from a Yale undergrad and Stanford Law grad with 15 some odd years of experience asking for an entry level position.

Do you jokers think you can beat those credentials? This guy is basically begging for a job. Probably because he doesn't want to deal with clients and overhead, which both suck everything out from you, even if you've managed to pay off those damn student loans. The field is fucked!

Anonymous said...

Those in law school now are indeed doomed. But at least they are young and most of them will find some crummy $30k a year entry level gig.

If they are indeed $200k in debt, they are morons and deserve what they get. Web sites like TLS that block dissenting opinion will sued by hordes of these debt crippled losers with little or no career options.

With offshoring, declining associate pay and the increase of contract jobs (no benefits or partner track) the legal profession is undergoing a fundamental, lasting shift.

Those playing by the rules and operating on the old assumptions will be slaughtered. Can you imagine pay full tuition at some diploma mill like Drexel Law or Touro right now?

Truly truly frightening. There are so many useless, hack lawyers clogging up contract work as it is...and it's only getting more desperate and horrendous.

Anonymous said...

OK, Helga. Fair enough... but the upside about doctor's offices like that in Europe is that they have (1) much lower administrative costs; and (2) a much smaller regulatory burden (both public sector and private sector) so they can charge much less.

I was born in Italy and spend a lot of time in Italy with relatives, some of whom are doctors. Not only is health care incredibly good in Italy (and France), it also results in Italians having a significantly higher life expectancy than Americans, and also a lower infant mortality rate. AND, Italy is the home of the University of Bologna -- the oldest existing medical school in the world.

For a while, I dated a Hungarian girl and spent a lot of time in Hungary. Health care there is great, too. Not as technically advanced as Italy/France/Germany, but very good in its own right.

Went to an ophthalmologist in Budapest. He ran his clinic out of the ground floor of his townhouse (in an old but luxurious looking building). Granted, he had a very small staff of about 2 women, one of whom was his wife, and like your story from Holland, seemed to be running things pretty much himself.

BUT, an full eye exam PLUS new eyeglasses with beautiful Italian frames, PLUS grinding the lenses there onsite within 3 hours, cost only the equivalent of about US $70.

PLUS, because we were carrying backpacks, the doctor sent us to the state-run "ORFI" Orthopedic Hospital, a large building in Buda on the banks of the Danube, and we received FREE full body massages by certified orthopedic technicians. NO leaden private sector US style bureaucracy or insurance coverage hoops to jump through. Not even any paperwork. And, we learned, this would have been free also to a normal Hungarian citizen... it wasn't just a favor being performed on behalf of the ophthalologist.

Now, can we beat that, in our shitty run-down, overpriced, greed-driven capitalist Republikkkan world of crapola American medicine?

I think not!!!

Send me to Europe for some good old fashioned socialized medicine any day!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and by the way, the Hungarian eye doctor had his brand-new looking Mercedes and his wife's Audi parked outside. (We knew that because they told us the cars were theirs.) So doctors in Europe -- even Eastern Europe -- aren't paupers.

Anonymous said...

Sure, just who exactly is going to pay for all these freebies and goodies?

How about if you pay for it?

Anonymous said...

Are they suckers for living in "socialized" countries, or are we suckers for not demanding that the government force the mega-wealthy to cough up the funds to pay for health care and other benefits for us ALL, to make us a civilized country?

Which is it? I don't know, but I'm feelin' that Americans are some real, fucked-from-the-rear-end suckers right about now.

Anonymous said...

We cannot afford it. With over 300 million people there aren't enough rich to pay for it.

The Euro model is doomed anyway. I love all of these chimps that want the "rich" to pay for everything.

How about it if you shell out for it bro? Right, I didn't think so.

Anonymous said...

In the words of the Reverend Dr. Jackson, "Get the money from, where the money went!"

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

"In the words of the Reverend Dr. Jackson, "Get the money from, where the money went!"

Where was it in the first place?

Anonymous said...

Old Ugly Staff Attorney Bitches will often DNR temps - epecially young pretty ones.

Also male staff attorneys will often DNR a temp they have fucked and now want to get rid of. This happened to several stupid gals I know who temped at S&C and slept with some staff attorneys. So watch out girls - besides these guys have thimble dongs, are in deep throes of mid-life crisis, are losers and depressed and on various medications. They are TROUBLE and really not worth sleeping with and losing your JOB.

Anonymous said...

Being a lawyer wouldn't suck so much without the burn, you know, that I didn't fail out because the old heads wanted my tuition? or is that social security, I forget.

Anonymous said...

I want to know what the percentage of lesbian attorneys is in the bigger law firms, broken down by age bracket.

Anonymous said...

We all know who knew...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XrRyqses5U

Anonymous said...

"I want to know what the percentage of lesbian attorneys is in the bigger law firms, broken down by age bracket."

OMG, there so many!

Anonymous said...

We must repiar Nigeria's image:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/10/business/worldbusiness/10nigeria.html?_r=1

Anonymous said...

do the older lesbians ever hit on young buckettes?

Anonymous said...

Yes one of the privileges of this profession is apart from the $250 Hastings Law school debt and three years of wasted time, and useless "coursework", your future partner boss or lesbo butch will be fucking you. The les will attach a dildo to herself strap on and fuck your cunt. So you are basically like a piece of garbage.
"I am a doctorate degree holder. I am a member of the New York bar with 91% first time pass rate and the rest pass the second. To be sure I spend $2,0000 on BAR BRI."

Anonymous said...

Ay Ay Ay, this chilly cha cha muy bonito. Ay Ay Ay, lo que siento en el corazon ...

Anonymous said...

The New York Bar is very very prestige.

Anonymous said...

11:39

The word is "prestijjy". The New York Bar has a lot of prestijjy. (If anyone remembers Bugs Bunny cartoons).

Anonymous said...

I recall paying $21 a month for health insurance in the US - full coverage and $5.00 per perscription. This was back in the mid 80's. The docs had plenty of support, the quality of care was first rate. WTF happened between then and now? Why am I paying over $400 per month with a $3000 deductable and very high co-pay for my perscriptions? I don't know what solution is - but I do not think that Joe or Jane Average Worker can afford that - I barely can. Something has got to give.

Love,
Helga

Anonymous said...

"Also male staff attorneys will often DNR a temp they have fucked and now want to get rid of."

this is the main reason for DNR in the first place.

Helga said...

David -
I can recharge your dong - ex-husband was a homicide detective -
ZZZTTTT ZZZTTT ZZZTTTT

Love,
Helga

Anonymous said...

DNT fron the S&C dungeon.

Why would anybody want to return?

Anonymous said...

You guys need to stop exaggerating to make yourself feel better. Nobody who graduated from law schools like Stanford, Yale or Harvard will ever have to be in the pathetic temp cesspool that you losers are in, unless something went terribly wrong.

Anonymous said...

1.03 AM

ha ha ha
Blame the victims.

We are all lawyers and you say we deserve the shit treatment we get. You should be disbarred,

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

1:03

Actually, the vast majority of "TTT" ers have jobs doing substanative work and aren't temping.

Anonymous said...

There are a handful of annoying repeat commenters on this blog. But I've got to say, the one who keeps signing comments "I am a doctorate" is by far the most annoying character.

I'd rather see "Lisa needs braces" a hundred times.

Anonymous said...

2:42 PM

Why is this annoying? Because you don't want to admit the truth that the main reason why the agencies and firms can get away with treating temps the way they do is because of lawyers' obsession with their image and doing better than the guy sitting next to them above all else?

Ask the temps you are working with if they are happy or regret going to law school. I bet at least 80% say it was the right decision and say things about how the J.D. is a good degree to have and how they are a doctorate, not a lowly M.B.A. I did not hear one one one one one person say, I was stupid to go to law school; I should have gotten an M.B.A. or tech degree.

"I am a doctorate. I am better than others. I hold a doctoral degree in jurisprudence. Not everyone can do this. Only the rare few."

Anonymous said...

What could be more annoying than the many people who blogged here about the intellectual challenge of law school, their hard 100 page legal problem paper they were forced to write, blah blah blah? Their point being "I earned my doctorate. I even penned a dissertation with lot of footnotes.

Helga said...

David - they carry tazers. zzzztt zzzzztttt zzzzzzzttttt. they make gifts of tazers to their wives. zzzzztttt zzzzzttttt zzzzzzttttt. Their wives make gifts of tazers to .... bad guys... and jokes about tazers to guys who need their dongs recharged... zzzzztttttt zzzzzttttt zzzzzttttt

Helga said...

Swine flu. Swine flu.
You came to work with the swine flu.
Now I've got the swine flu.
And it sucks.

Anonymous said...

5:03

Just FYI, if you are the one who keeps on writing "I am a doctorate".

I don't know if you are doing this to lampoon people, as a spoof, or what, but if you really think that is correct grammar, you are really a dumb motherfucker.

Helga said...

Here I go with the timid little woodland creature bit again. It's shameful, but...ehhh, it's a living.

beerguzzlingtemp said...

Maybe it is me, but I haven't had any problems with the agencies. It is usually the staff attorneys which are stupid pricks. The associates have always been cordial, maybe because they have real jobs.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd9Yibf_UXE

listen with your sound up. its this board in youtube form.

Anonymous said...

I am exchange student from Cameroon! I don't even have an LLM, but work in a Nigerian outsource document review shop. The documents have such useful information!

I have assumed three new identities this week of executives of major American Corporations. Heh heh heh!

Anonymous said...

QUERY: Anyone willing to share an overview of attorney contract and doc review projects currently ongoing or in the pipeline as of November 9, 2009? Even if people are getting staffing agency calls for such, is there follow-through and are you being placed (and for how long?).Am hearing differing stories, some disguested bc/ agencies such as Update are calling, but "oversubscribing" so to speak as to number of resumes sent to law firm for review and the actual number of contract attorney slots available. Are agencies constantly relying only on their preferred list rather than bringing new registrants into actual job placement. Am hearing horrible stories, some conflicting. Who is placing these days and where?

Anonymous said...

According to a report issued by the National Law Journal, the top 250 law firms cut 5,259 attorney positions this year in the worst year since the NLJ began compiling the statistics. The firm shedding the most jobs was Latham & Watkins which has 444 fewer lawyers than last year. The number of partners grew by one percent over all, while associates were cut at the rate of 8.7% and of counsel and staff lawyer positions shrunk by 8.9%.

Trailer Tom said...

Get a freakin trailer and start roaming the country in search of jobs!! Get off your big lawyer butt and start drivin'....that's what I did and look at me now, eatin', fuckin' and makin some dough...cryin' ain't gonna git you nowhere folks...

Anonymous said...

Migrant Legal Workers!!!!!!
Migrant Legal Workers!!!!!!
Migrant Legal Workers!!!!!!
Migrant Legal Workers!!!!!!
Migrant Legal Workers!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I was born in the wagon of a doc review show
My mama used to click for the money they'd throw
Papa would do whatever he could
teach a little bar review
Work at CJA cases down in the hood
CHORUS:
Lawyers, tramps and thieves
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us lawyers, tramps and thieves
But every night the staff attorneys would come around
And lay their money down

Anonymous said...

I wonder if there are really even any shit $30k PI jobs around these days anymore. I kind of have the belief that you somehow have to start your own firm...but the question is the experience needed and the money to fund it.

Well I spent 1 hour of work today, made $250. Then I wasted the next 7 hours earning nothing, except maybe future contacts at best. I wish I had a real, substantive job that I could draw a paycheck every week and actually afford to pay off my student loans. I can't even get doc review...I have a far greater likelihood of getting hired by random clients than I have of getting doc review it feels like.

How does a newbie break into this field?

Mr. Obaigbena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Mr Obaigbema -- do you have any scams up your sleeve that I can get in on?

Mr. Obaigbena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Fuck it Moosehead--I am a true son and daughter of Zambia...

Anonymous said...

8:23: Glad you are both a son and daughter of your homeland. Does that not become confusing?

Anonymous said...

8:23 By the way, genius, it wasn't a moosehead, it was a giraff having a bad hair day. hahahahahahaahahahah

Anonymous said...

or perhaps a camel...

Anonymous said...

Why did Obaigbena delete his profile????

Anonymous said...

"I wonder if there are really even any shit $30k PI jobs around these days anymore."

You're lucky if you can find them. Even the botton-feeders have figured out how to undercut expenses. I have been looking for a few months and recently I have spoken to 2 different PI firms that provide no salary- only a portion of the contingency fee they recoup at the end of the case.

I almost laughed when I heard that. No benefits, no bonuses, no SALARY but they promise you can make so much money if you settle that one big case. Sure, it is obvious you have tons of big cases- you can't even afford to hire an associate!!!

Remind me, why did I go to law school?

Anonymous said...

I can confirm rates are spiraling downward. All the agencies know the rate is between $15-$30. $15 is the new $35.
Remember in the old days when $35 was considered the worst rate? Those were the good old days......no more.
The problem is most lawyers will work for ANYTHING. $10. $5. $15. The people on doc review have no other options, and will never quit. Their whole image is being an "attorney and counselor at the law."
"I am a doctorate of juris science."
"I am a member of the court. The same as the judge."
"I work at an AmLaw 100 law firm."
"Law school was hard. I had to write a dissertation on a legal problem with hundreds of footnotes."

Anonymous said...

Being a temp is worse than being a lowly dog. In the eyes of the profession and the firms and agencies, you are a nothing. Your existence is not even noted by them.
Keep calling them agencies!!
"It's Pam. Remember me? I worked for your agency for five years on the X job. Oh........Pam who?"
I am using my unique law knowledge to make a difference in the world.

Shelley Levene said...

Working as a shitlawyer today is like being one of the hopeless real estate salesmen ekeing out a living in David Mamet's "Glengarry Glen Ross".

Guido Rama said...

I am leaving Tempdom--too many ugly chicks and recruiters. People in the perm world are better looking.

Anonymous said...

11:34

I'm not doing doc review anymore, and I'm making $48/hour on a long-term legal project. Hours are 8:30-5:00, with holidays, sick leave, but no overtime. Yes, I said $48/hour... Started out in July at $42/hour, and probably will get a second raise very soon.

Can anyone guess who I'm working for?

No, I am not selling my asshole on the streetcorner or anything like that.

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I have been told $30 is no longer the going rate and better be ready to settle for less. Cutting back hours, O/T, and no taxi service are also there.
"I am a doctorate degree holder."
"I am a counselor at the laws with an AmLaw 100 law firm. Look at me mom and dad, and jealous neighbors."

Anonymous said...

The going rate is headed for about $17 an hour, and gigs for barred attorneys are disappearing. Now they're saying "anyone with a JD, barred or not." I even saw one ad recently for "JDs and paralegals".

And everytime I see an ad like this, they always mention in the ad something like, "you can do this while you're waiting for that big break" or something to that effect.

Anonymous said...

PLAN DENTAL! LISA NECESITA FRENOS!

Anonymous said...

LISA IS A DORK!!!

FREE THE HISPANIC WHALES!!!

STOP NOSE POLLUTION -- GET AN H1N1 VISA TODAY!!!

FIGHT PLATE TECTONICS!!!

BRUNO HAUPTMANN IS INNOCENT!! I AM THE LINDBERGH BABY!!!

FanOfTrailerTom said...

Well said, Trailer Tom. As usual, your comments are sage and perspicacious. These lawyer bums need to get off their rear ends and move around. Ain't no use lookin' for work when none don't exist and those niggers from Nigeria are grabbing what little there is.

Anonymous said...

11:34

I'm not doing doc review anymore, and I'm making $48/hour on a long-term legal project. Hours are 8:30-5:00, with holidays, sick leave, but no overtime. Yes, I said $48/hour... Started out in July at $42/hour, and probably will get a second raise very soon.

Can anyone guess who I'm working for?

No, I am not selling my asshole on the streetcorner or anything like that.

6:41 PM

I'm guessing either as a paralegal or in the legal division of a corporation. If you're working as an attorney for a firm that is also a possibility.

Anyway, I'll bite, who are you working for and what's the job title?

Anonymous said...

Actually the rate in NYC is going up again. One new project is paying over $40 per hour.

Firms and clients know that you need licensed American attorneys to do this work, period.

Trailer Tom said...

What's up Yankees?? Still cryin' .... haw, haw, haw, haw, haw....come on down I sez....we'll git you settled and laid and monied up....give it up boys, give it up, there ain't nothing in New Yark City that you can't git down here....

Anonymous said...

What's going on at S&C?? Any firings yet?? They could sure get rid of some staff attorney deadwood - what's up with Gaylard, Clovester, Anus?? When I worked there was also one short little white staff attorney who said he was psychic and even hit on Jenny Fat Buns incurring Gary's eternal wrath-- is that loser still there??? What about Big Mamma?? Did she get laid - did Valvina get rid of her STD??? What's going on????

Anonymous said...

8:14

Thanks for the guesses. I am not working as an attorney per se, as my job description doesn't require me to be an attorney. In the office where I work, I am the only attorney. Nonetheless, everyone acknowledges that my being an attorney greatly helps with my work, as much of it is either very closely allied with legal work, or actually overlaps with legal work (litigation prep but at a high and sophisticated level -- not just making copies and preparing exhibits), etc. But, that's only about 25% of the work.

Hint: I work on top of what was a swamp. (Some say it is still a swamp, or at least a cesspool.)

Anonymous said...

What's going on???? Where's everyone???Does everyone have the SWINE FLU??Is everyone at TOWN HALL MEEETINGS?? Is everyone working on the economy at the FED??? Where is everyone??? What's going on??? Am I the only one sitting at home in my underwear????

Anonymous said...

8:50 Who the fuck cares??/ You've been playing this guessing game for a while - spill the beans or get the fuck out of here. You are probably on your knees sucking some old bastard's dong....

Anonymous said...

Looks like things are improving in the temp world. Most people I know are working again, if they want to that it.

The permenant market should follow in a few months. The federal government is also starting to hire again.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like things are improving in the temp world. Most people I know are working again, if they want to that it.

The permenant market should follow in a few months. The federal government is also starting to hire again.

10:14 PM

Like I haven't heard this repeatedly over the past year or so.

Anonymous said...

They've been saying that since the middle of '07.