Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Paul Weiss Axes Staff Attorneys

Above the Law is reporting today that Paul Weiss is conducting a series of quiet layoffs in their staff attorney program. One befuddled tipster reported, "some of these staff attorneys have been there for seven and eight years and they are not even offering severance." Cry me a river. What do you expect from a bunch of despicable human rights violators who conduct mass retaliatory firings after workers contact the media about cockroach infested work environs and atrocious working conditions? After 8 years, Paul Weiss has thrown you out like a piece of trash, just as you have been complicit in treating countless souls like disposable trash throughout the years. Welcome back to the temp pool!

http://abovethelaw.com/2009/10/paul_weiss_staff_attorney_layo.php

109 comments:

Anonymous said...

Those staff attorneys are like the kapos in Nazi concentration camps who collaborated with SS guards to stay alive longer.

Anonymous said...

Exactly like the kapos. When it was time to shut down the ghetto, the Nazis came it and killed off all the kapos. What's striking is that the kapos were even more ruthless than the Nazis. Not really shedding a tear for these people.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, fuck these bastards. We all know how they treated us. I hope they starve to death!!

That song comes to mind, "How does it feel to treat me like you do.....". La, la, la, la...

Sorry to sound so mean, but I lost assignments there simply for taking a bathroom break. I was pregnant and these bitches had no sympathy for me.

Go fuck yourself.

Anonymous said...

KARMA!!!!

If you see any of these turncoat assholes on any of your projects, spit on and shun them.

Doc Review Chimp said...

Yes, they were real meanies. I hope they feel as worried and scared as we did when they beat us and fired us. They didn't even let me eat my banana at my desk. I used to cry for my mama all the time when I was there. Now I am unemployed but at least I get to roll around in the sun and feel free.

Anonymous said...

What about S&C cuts?

Anonymous said...

Time to cull the herd as S & C. Time to wash away the dog shit.

Akshen said...

what comes around goes around ... this economy sucks, but Paul Weiss attorneys were (at best) Massa's House Negros and (at worst) SS Kommandant's Kapos. they took the job knowing that they had no real security and that they might have to fuck over agency temps.

so fuck 'em.

Anonymous said...

Did "piggy" get cut?

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

End days are a comin' rise up & enjoy life while you still can..this Swine flu is gonna turn us all into raving zombies cant wait! Life is temporary as is every job..face it no one wins in this race called Life, in the end we all die!

Anonymous said...

What about S&C?

S&C is like a giant clogged up shithole. Did Bernanke and Paulson ensure a steady stream of business to this place? It needs to be unclogged so that the ghetto bacteria infested feces can be washed out and flushed down the toilet.

Reality Law Job said...

Hey Guys,!
Great news I am
holding a networking/suicide party this weekend!
Cover is only $10.00 and it is BYOB. We will meet at manhattan side of Brooklyn Bridge, but don't worry manhannites!, nobody is going to get to Brooklyn. Jump point will be manhattan side. Prizes awarded for best costume!

Enjoy a light evening of great conversation with your fellow barristers.

See ya's

Angel said...

Even PW is a sinking ship. I thought they were immune from this sort of thing. Ha.

Anonymous said...

Unless you live in a cave, by now you’ve probably heard that the latest numbers from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics show that we lost another 263,000 jobs in September, nationwide. 2,000 of those jobs came from the legal sector, when the numbers are seasonally adjusted. Without seasonal adjustments the legal sector lost 13,600 jobs, but that’s most likely caused by large numbers of summer associates returning back to school.

Angel said...

3:04, aren't the labor statistics based on who collects unemployment? Summers don't collect unemployment, so I doubt they are included. Furthermore, this number is probably grossly below what the real unemployment numbers are. New graduates are also not eligible for unemployment. I don't think the labor statistics look at them. I wish I knew the true number.. and I'm sure it's higher than we can imagine.

Anonymous said...

Staff Attorney is delusional if he/she didn't realize that he/she was nothing more than a glorified temp. I love how these staff attorneys sacrifice their flexibility and undertake one of these god awful positions and are shocked when they get kicked to the curb. Back when things were booming, I was often asked to interview for these positions. Aside from the benefits, I see no rationale reason why someone would want to subject themselves to this. The pay is very similar to what you would pull down as a contract attorney and you ultimately sacrifice your flexibility. 8 years in that same god awful hellhole? I think I would kill myself. I hope he/she was able to make a serious dent in the student loans, and wasn't wasting money snuffing blow and screwing around behind their spouse's back like some other staff attorney professionals at another illustrious big firm.

Anonymous said...

When are they going to fire the shit at S&C. That's what I want to know.

Yep, those snuffing blow and fucking fat temps.

Time to go assholes! Hasta la Vista, baby. The Depression is here. Fuck yo Mamma.

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Better Coder said...

Hey all,

A lot of you have been asking me whether I was ever approached by Paul Weiss to be a staff attorney. Well, unfortunately for the quality of the work product and for the long dong-starved ladies at Paul Weiss, I had to turn them down. The pay was simply too low.

Also, a lot of you have been wondering about my hours and potential $ for the week. I am happy to report that I am already 25 hours for Mon and Tues and I am on pace for another $3500'r.

Also, even though I will be putting in some hours this weekend, I should still have time to hit up some of the leftover sample sales from fashion week. I am looking forward to getting some new Lucky Seven's and some Diesel Brand jeans!

Very Truly Yours,
Long Dong Coder
www.bettercoderthanyou.wordpress.com

Helga said...

BC - you are a sick twisted sadist and deserve to be thrown in front of a bus. Ass hole.

Helga said...

David, are you and Better Coder one and the same individual?

Helga said...

U6, the Bureau of Labor Statistics' most inclusive measure of unemployment (includes those unemployed folks who are no longer eligible to collect unemployment benefits as well as those who are eligible) was a whopping 17 percent in September (seasonally adjusted) and 16.1 percent (not seasonally adjusted). Guess what? It is probably going to get worse before it gets better, boys and girls.

Helga said...

Granted, we have areas of regional depression but mostly we are in a deep recession. I suggest that we all start drinking heavily. Cheers

Anonymous said...

Truth is these layoffs have been going for a while. I guess they are down to the nub now.

First years doing exclusively doc review? hahahahahhahah.

What a joke this profession is. I wonder what a first year is making at PW these days.

I bet the staff attorneys were better doc review than the ivy asshole associates are.

Hmmm, should I outsource Doc review or have Paul Weiss associates do it?

FOTFLMAO!

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

I am David Letteramn bitches - if you can't tell. Don't compare me with stupid coders. I am trolling this site for fresh meat and ladies who need law school paid off. Now fuck off the rest of you. I have enough on my mind.

Anonymous said...

Everyone is banging everyone. Jeez I spent most of my life being good because people like David L. made fun of sleazoids on TV. And now he is one. I wish I hadn't listened to him and banged as much as him. At least I would have had fun. Well lesson is don't listen to anyone - do what you need to - cause they sure will.

Doc Review Chimp said...

I don't feel like banging anyone. I am happy with a small job and a banana and warm place to sleep. Leave me alooooooone.....

Anonymous said...

Doc Review Chimp I love you. I don't have a baby - can I adopt you???

Anonymous said...

Stick a fork in this oversaturated, gutter profession...it's fucking done.

Anonymous said...

Recent research shows that men who wear sweater vests to document reviews are dicks

Anonymous said...

I fucking love Better Coder.

Back to work at the DeNovo sweatshop chimps...

Anonymous said...

"Stick a fork in this oversaturated, gutter profession...it's fucking done."

So true! But it's been overdone since the 1980's 20 years ago at least. This is when everyone and his mother started going to law school. A law school on every block. It just ceased becoming a profession at all.

The ABA has been most responsible for this together with the greedy state bars. Had they not looked for those big annual fee checks they would have better qualified people. But the bars are pigs at a trough.

Paul Weiss always presents itself as the big liberal pro bono law firm. But like most lefties, their liberal ideas are for OTHER PEOPLE not themselves. They are more greedy and hierarcical than any firm around.

Paul Weiss is the firm that INVENTED the "point system" for partners that created pay for partners based on bringing in business.
It spread from Paul Weiss famous for its partner fighting about money since 1970 to all other law firms.
But they are the most PC place on the planet. Such a joke!

The only way to approach this former profession is to cut your losses and bail out. Most people here are trying to recover what they can by temping. That is short term thinking, unless you are too old to change into a real job.

Good luck to all. But if you still think doc review is "rewarding" and how good everything is like the majority of temps, then it's pointless.
You either can't face the harsh truth or maybe you're just really unqualified to do ANYTHING else.
"I am a doctorate."
"I hold a doctor of laws degree."

Anonymous said...

Hey "Lisa needs braces" guy:

You were much funnier when u just stuck to dental plan before adding on the other stuff about obama and whatever.

hth

Anonymous said...

So what do staff attorneys do after they lose their jobs? They cannot join firms as an associate, which is obvious by the fact that they remained staff attornys. They are likely going to be treated harsly in the ranks of temp attorneys. They obviously cannot start their own pratice because they have probably forgot everything about law outside of the all important attorney-client privilege. Dental school?

JT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

BTW, Staff attorneys at PW rarely supervised temps. I know of one case in the 4 years I worked there. So please, dont compare us to kapos. We clicked the box just like y'all did. Just in the same place, with the same people all the time. And yes, the ship be sinking.
Oh, and what did I do after i lost my job? Well, a few months of travel and now a job at a tiny litigation firm. I make much less than I did at PW, but at least I get to use Westlaw/write memos etc.

Anonymous said...

I've posted a few times before. I work in civil litigation. I don't know why anybody would want to do litigation unless you're making a lot of money doing it. This work sucks.

I can't see how anybody considers using westlaw and writing memos a positive. I also don't see why anybody would write memos. I write motions and briefs, and do depositions, among other litigation work. We never bother with memos because there is never a case where you'd write a memo that you couldn't just write the motion or brief.

I wanted doc review because it'd be consistent work and I figured I could do it for awhile and then quit law. Doc review also doesn't look like it has much stress either, in terms of the work you're doing or in terms of dealing with clients, either getting them, collecting from them, or keeping them happy. But I have yet to land a doc review job, and I'm kind of giving up on it.

You guys say doc review work means you can never get jobs as an associate, but I find doing actual legal work seems to not matter to these temp agencies at all either. And I also find that it's hard to get a good job as an associate now too. The economy just tanked period, it's not just for doc review. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

Anonymous said...

they will end up at small or midsize firms. thats what most end up doing anyway. thats why peo who are smart ended up taking the gigs. to get some stable work record, and then move down to a smaller firm. whether it still works that way- I don't know.

Anonymous said...

What about going to court every day? What about having clients who appreciate your efforts? What about fighting the good fight? If you are young and a member of the bar, that's where its at. If you don't want to be a court room litigator, you might try transactions. BTDT litigation thing - it was the best. Doc review is my choice - I'm reaching the age where I want to retire and work when I WANT to work. Yes, I could have taken a staff attorney job but who wants to have their wings clipped, suffer the fools who want to stomp you in Big Law, work 49 out of 52 weeks per year? Not me. For all you youngsters who cannot find a permanent gig - either hang and wait for the economy to improve or branch out into something else - if I was still young, I'd go into law enforcement.

Get busy living, my friends.

Helga said...

David - if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck - it is a duck.

You be busted, man. You be Better Coder.

Anonymous said...

"Staff attorneys at PW rarely supervised temps. I know of one case in the 4 years I worked there. So please, dont compare us to kapos."

Please. I got fired by one of you assholes for taking too many bathroom breaks. I was very ill at the time, needed the cash, and knew that if I called in sick that I ran the risk of being fired.

Welcome back to the ghetto, Kapo. You walking around the ranks of the contract attorneys will be like a child molester walking prison with his pants pulled down.

Anonymous said...

so i guess adding in john cena and barack hussein obama isnt funny? just the plain ol lenny/lisa combo?
Well okay its all copypaste for me so whatever works for you im down.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Paul Weiss is to concentration camp as Sullivan is to ghetto dump.

Anonymous said...

I hope all staff attorneys get fired and are treated like shit as temp attorneys. I will pray for that everyday. Because when they were these small-time bureaucrats they totally forgot what it meant to be human and starving and worried. Fuck them and their momma.

Anonymous said...

No loyalty. 8 years, 8 months, 8 hours, you are merely cannon fodder for these firms and agencies. They will replace you in a minute if they can find a Nigerian with a fake license and law degree that will work for cheaper.

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Paul Weiss. can fuck itself. I hate those motherfuckers - I hope they burn in hell for their hypocrisy. While the partners were getting fat and happy, they beat the coders like slaves in a 17th century plantation. If a third world country does that it is still understandable but for large law firm in 21st Century USA, scandalous!!!WHO ARE YOU KIDDING ASSHOLES????

Emily said...

Ted Sorenson is my idol.

Beat those slaves, bitch.

Anonymous said...

You're only here to win
Get what they say?
You're only here to win
Get what they do?
They'd do it too
If they were you
You done it all before
It ain't nothing new

Anonymous said...

I also don't understand why any temp would want to become a staff attorney. What's the big plus? Seems to lack the flexibility which is what temping has going for it?

Are the Paul Weiss staff attorneys the same Colonel Klinks as before?

Anonymous said...

Hire a Nigerian and put an American citizen of any color (especially black) out of work.

"They're nice."

Helga said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Helga said...

David, get your own chicks. You've got to be a walking talking case of serious STD by now - but you are still Better Coder in disguise.

Anonymous said...

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Helga said...

Emily, you racist liberal elitist. Were you born with the silver spoon in your mouth or are you simply a self-hating traitor to your class?

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Helga said...

David, I don't need you to pay for my loans. I am sure there are plenty of women out there who do need you to pay for their loans. Good luck with that.

Stupid Sexy Flanders said...

"Lisa needs braces" guy has returned to the basics. Much funnier.

If you really wanted to add something:

"Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all; nothing at all; nothing at all."

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David said...

Ok Helga fuck the loans. We can still get it on. Let's go -- I am under a lot of stress!!! What the fuck is wrong with you people???

David said...

Wait, I have been reading this site and frequently a 44-year-old woman pops up asking if she can save herself by riding a partner like a horse. Although I don't generally go for hags I am willing to give it a shot in these desperate times. Hey Lady, if you are still there contact me you old broad. Maybe we can work something out.

Helga said...

David - there is a seasoned woman on the board who is looking somebody with money. When I posted that I was out on the water fucking the rich, she thought I was actually FUCKING rich people on a boat and asked me for an introduction to them. I think she said that she was once married to some investment banker asshole so she knows what money is. If you've got real mooollaaa, maybe you can get lucky with her. If not, there has to be a million other women in the Naked City. Good luck with that.

Helga said...

You must:
Be Catholic
Be Blue Collar or from a working class background. If you are upper class, you must be down to earth.
Be Healthy - not STD's
Like beer or wine and food of all kinds
Like the outdoors - hunting fishing, boating, dogs, horses
Like music - esp classic rock and opera
Like to read
No Metrosexuals
No Bisexuals
No Homosexuals
No twits, assholes, men on power trips
NO CONTROL FREEKS

Anonymous said...

FEELS LIKE IM WORKING FOR
NOTHING AT ALL
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see what i did there?

Helga said...

oh - you must be over 50.

Anonymous said...

I get home at 11 pm after busting my ass since 8 am. My girlfriend is immediately on my case about not giving her attention.

Anonymous said...

and you are posting on this board? do you no like your girlfriend? were you not happy to see her?

Anonymous said...

She disgusts me. Always on my case to work more hours.

David said...

She does sound disgusting. She needs a money-making machine. Pass that bitch onto me. I have enough money to shut her up.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the temp attorney whining. Let's turn this into a temp dating site and maybe everyone will be happier.

I will start: Seeking gainfully employed temp attorney from TTT and no long-term prospects but long dong.

Lifer said...

I'll sit on your face if you pay my loans, David.

The Yuppie Attorney said...

There is an expression, "show me your budget and I will know where your priorities are!" PW does not budget, thus does not prize any loyalty, legal expertise, legal knowledge, or client relations; its staff attorneys fostered. PW would rather have cheap, no attachments, and lower legal expertise of the temps. PW values $ ahead of legal quality for its clients.

David said...

Jeez Lifer you remind me of my mother Dorothy. I couldn't do you even with three bags over your head. You must have been cute when you were young - and you still have a lot of spirit. I like that. Maybe I can find you someone from 60 minutes - they all have one foot in the grave. Adios you old bird...maybe we can just "talk". Gotta run now - intern is coming to give me my daily "briefing" or "de-briefing" I should say.

Anonymous said...

Which temp agency has business now?

Compliance?

Has anyone worked with them?
I heard they are good.

Anonymous said...

Compliance is a dump.

HTH.

Helga said...

8:12 am - dump her. Dump her now. Send her to David. Jeez - where did you find her?

Anonymous said...

GET YOUR ASS MOVING ON HEALTHCARE!!

Start taking action. This is crucial for temps. Because we get such shitty and expensive insurance from agencies.

Call/write your Senators/Congressmen.
Do something.

Heck I am even OK if it isn't 100% free. If I can pay the same rates as I pay when employed with a firm [$60 -$100 a month!!]. I can't pay $500-700 which is what most want privately.

LET'S GET MOVING ON THIS ISSUE!!!

Anonymous said...

Hope and pray lord that S&C is next to fire.

ALEX GAYLARD
TRACY WHOREDAN
MARK WATANAFAGGOT (GHETTO SUMMO)

I've got my fingers crossed and my voodoo hexed for these three specimens of temp-abusing shit. God forbid they get dumped into the land of gutter temps from whence they came because these pussies cant take the heat.

They got such a kick out of abusing people like their ghetto mommas surely abused them, but I'll laugh when theyre fired. Staff attorneys are obselete, its only a matter of time...

David said...

This Tracy - can she suck??? Let me know - I am looking for a replacement!!!

Anonymous said...

Compliance was like the disappearing oasis in the desert. They called me with a tempter and then vanished into thin air.

Their website looks good.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it funny how when the government is saying how well we are doing, everyone is out of work. And the pay and conditions getting worse.

Being an associate at Paul Weiss is almost as bad as being a doc review worker, although of course they are very Ivy oriented and show a little more respect.

Paul Weiss is the big Democrat civil rights law firm.
In fact they are more money-fighting, power obsessed, and hierarchical than any law firm in the world.

The secretaries there are notorious for lording around their power because they are the mistresses of their partners. No kidding. This was true of one of their head partners. The worst thing about this firm is that everyone knows that these slutty older secretaries are the side wives of these partners and that they are as powerful as a partner.

Paul Weiss, what a bunch of fakes.

Work as a temp and read their propaganda about their liberalism and political connections.

They have so many partner committees that they created a committee on committees.

Anonymous said...

David, just ask around theres bound to be somebody (probably a few somebodies) at S&C who can answer your question.

Anonymous said...

I bet this happened in England and other old world countries before. Why else would people get onto ships and travel across the world if not for complete economic meltdowns?

David said...

Who's the biggest whore at this place called S&C? Sounds like there are many - and many with loans I bet. How can I get a hold of these bitches??? I saw a post by some witch named Valvina, but that big old donkey will probably just cut my nuts off - as if they haven't been cut off already !! What the fuck!! Can't an old guy have any fun anymore - what am I supposed to do if not hunt for fresh pussy, sit at home with my wife and a wailing baby?? Give me a break!!! Where do you think I get the energy to do what I do everyday??? Fresh pussy!!!

Anonymous said...

The problem is that I am merely a shade of my former self. I code like a machine for twelve hours a day. Everyday feels like Groundhogs Day. My "home" no longer feels like my own. Girlfriend moved in and I can't get her out. She just started school and I can't in good conscience kick her out until the end of the semester. There is nothing worse than a needy chick. I am so tired and burnt out most of the time that I can't even sleep with her. I'd rather settle for a homely hag who doesn't bother the shit out of me. Mr. Pee Pee won't even get up anymore. I feel like getting in the car, pointing it in one direction and never turning back.

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

Anyway, I am sorry for you , yada, yada, yada, but I have my own problems. I need to get laid -- soon!! My wife will have nothing to do with me anymore. Anyway cut your whining and find a fat new chick who will adore you!! What the fuck is wrong with you people ???? I gotta run - I have things to do - my medication is running out!!!!

Anonymous said...

Off your meds? You sound perfect for Sullivan's basement.

Anonymous said...

Hey 12-hour-coder, homely hag here, what's up?

Anonymous said...

Can't you meet a homely hag at Sullivan?

Anonymous said...

I went to a good law school on Long Island, have $200,000 in debts and child support overdue (my wife convinced the judge how rich lawyers are), and cannot even land a temp job. I am at the end of the road. What should I do? Moving to another state would help not have to deal with the court and the judge who keeps telling me to join one of the big firms. It isn't so easy. My ex-wife turned out to be the bitch from hell. As soon as we got married she stopped working, gained weight, and lorded around our rental apartment like the lord of the manor. Saying how much better she could have done and how she thought she was marrying a future Perry Mason. My parents are not help because they told me this was the sure route to a good and happy life.
The golden road has been the highway to hell. The highway to fucking hell.

Anonymous said...

Tom I have a simple mathematical question (I know law students are terrible at math, or else they would have been smarter and majored in computers or engineering and had a real 21st century career):

There are only a few law firms that are financially strong - S&C, Cravath. Unlike big companies like Exxon and Citibank which hire MB.A.'s only a few lawyers - a few of these millions of law students - get a job at these places every year. Even at the top five schools 2-3 people in every class can get a job there.

So why does everyone think this is such a good profession. How can they look at the few hundred big law firm partners and think that that will be them.
"That's me in the future."
"Mom and dad, look at the AmLaw 100 salaries. That's what I'll be making."

Talk about millions of people competing for one brass ring. There is even an agency called Brass Ring. But it's a cock ring? Or ring around the collar?
Or the ring the Africans set on fire and put on the necks of white people?

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Anonymous said...

Newsflash--Doc Review Chimp is an orangutan.

Doc Review Chimp said...

Doc Review Chimp - Orangutan. What does it matter - we all look the same to you people. Leave me alooooone...

Lifer said...

Dave, you're a jerk. You want my flappy pancake nipples, you know it.

stole your job said...

somewhere in Africa, a coding room with its sweet
sounds of click click is humming.
I awake it was just a dream.
when can I return to my African home and work? For now I must still suffer these us lawyer fools who did not even get honors, 1st class and work here in there document review rooms rather than in my native Africa.

I miss the outdoor sewage, straw hurt, and roving militias with there AK's and colorful t shirts.

Oh when will we be able to do this work of the document review in our homeland?

Any Nigerian

Anonymous said...

It's like the song Africa.

Merry Kwanza!

The Nigerians are full of shit, as well as born thieves as even Oprah said.
They know Nigeria is a shithole but just make monkey soup in the kitchen microwave to mesmerize whitey about their exotic culture Like a Gaugin painting of French Polynesia.
They will work for $5.
They never help a real American just put them out of work by loading their family and friends onto projects like a sack of shit until the project sinks.

Anonymous said...

I am from Nigeria.
I am so disappointed that your attorneys at law do not have first class honors and wear smelly clothes to work. They talk about nonsense like constitution and tort. Wat is dat?
Dat is wat?
Important thing is know the judge... that is the lawyer job.

Blood Document said...

Dat I feels the need too response on this forum or blug is tat frustrated to mes. As a Nigerian I believe that the HNRS, 1st class puts us above wat you wood call any us attorneys. Wat barrister is willing to provide me bank info I will gladly renumerate with $551,00,00 gillion dollars US after I settle my supreme high court claims.

Dat I will gladly send to you.

Helga said...

David - have you had your Wheaties today?

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Helga said...

What ever happened to Beer Guzzling Temp? I miss him so much. Ah well, David has taken his place. Hope you get layed tonight by fugly.

Love,
Helga

Helga said...

Lifer - you are back!!! Missed your wisdom.

MzLibertee said...

.....nice to see so many folx who are familiar with PW's basement. They couldn't have said it better if they called it "The Dungeon!"
Misery loves company and it makes me feel better to know how many other people have been "disappointed" by the legal industry.... what a racket!