Monday, August 24, 2009

Slave Labor

"Bad enough secretaries and some receptionists make more than a lawyer, but look at this...they expect someone starting out with over $100k in law school debt to work for free...and sad part is they will likely get a stack of resumes!

Entry Level Attorney (Midtown East)

Manhattan Personal Injury firm seeks entry-level attorney. MUST be admitted to NY bar. Foreign language skills a plus.
Salary- there is no salary the first 3 months. After 3 months, the salary will then be $25k. You will get great experience and learn how to take a case from inception through trial. You will get to handle your own caseload. Expect trial experience within 9 months of start date."

74 comments:

Anonymous said...

How is this not a violation of the minimum wage laws? Clearly, this is not an internship.

truth said...

Christie Julian at Update is a dumb fat cow piece of shit. I hope she rots. She fucked me over. She is a piece of shit and hope her family rots.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

If you speak Dutch, get ready to be treated like butter by Ms. Kim. When she's done with you, she will cast you aside like yesterday's piece of trash. Sara Kim is a phony!



Dutch Attorneys Needed ASAP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-08-24, 11:25AM EDT
Reply to: skim@yorkson.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Need several Dutch fluent attorneys for a two week doc review assignment. Long hours. Non admitted attorneys welcome to apply. Please email resumes directly to skim@yorkson.com

Project is expected to start this Friday or Saturday.

Anonymous said...

om:
"V. K. McMahon" lolintenretfakemail@yahoo.com
Add sender to Contacts
To:
job-gxagw-1338741955@craigslist.org

To Whom It May Concern:

I am a NY licensed attorney and would love to help your firm out. I understand the economy is tough for new grads and look forward to a chance to learn on the job. Before i send you my resume I just wanted to ask you the following questions:

1. At what time of day do your other slaves go into the cotton field? I would hate to be whipped for being late.

2. Must we address you as massa?

3. Considering that you probably pay the janitor service, water delivery service, and secretary more than the proposed mcwages you propose after the initial period of indentured servitude is over, must we refer to them as "massas" as well? I sho nuff don't care fo no waddamelon tho, lawdee be.

4. Am I allowed to sing slave hymns while pushing copy/paste discovery motions back and forth? My personal favorite is "Old Man River"

5. How much did you sell your soul for?

6. Which TTTT toilet did you graduate from?

Thanks for your time.

- Thirteenth Amendment

Anonymous said...

Why even pay the $25k after three months? It's an honor to work for such a prestigious firm for free.

Guido Rama said...

Probably some gross guy in his underwear - who will want you to "multi-task".

If you are a guy, he'll want you to lift heavy objects, be his chauffeur, get his dry-cleaning.

If you are a girl, he'll want you to suck his dick, be his mistress and accompany him on "law" seminars all over the country.

Fuggedabouit!!

Anonymous said...

12:03 - LOL!

Anonymous said...

Stick a fork in it...this country is finished.

Dan said...

the 25k after three months is the worst part. if you measure up, you get to take home 25k. wow.

Anonymous said...

If you're not doing anything else and can collect UE, why not apply for it?

You do a good job, they'll give you more than 25K. Plus, you can use it as a platform to send resumes off. You can also quit if you don't like it or something better comes along.

Or you could make $30 an hour and 1 1/2 overtime if they'd put you on a project and if it goes as long as the agnecy says and if it actually had overtime and if and if and if and if. Then you could make a career out of temping and have to put up with agency BS 10 years from now.

Anonymous said...

It meets the internship requirements quite easily. It's an entry level position and most law school graduates don't know jack shit about the actual practice of law so it's easy to classify the noob as trainee for that period of time.

Anonymous said...

If he wanted an intern, he should apply through the clinical program of a law school. This guy is a shyster who is trying to do a run around the minimum wage laws.

Anonymous said...

I have to warn ladies about working with very very small law firms and solos. Usually these people are a little lonely and isolated and tend to get over friendly with the female staff. They tend to get very chatty, discuss personal problems, make them stay late and have them sit next them for hours just for company, accompany them to seminars/receptions in their car etc., too laid back and familiar, professional boundaries are often crossed. Sometimes it gets too strange.

Anonymous said...

where do I submit my resume?

The Yuppie Attorney said...

The prior commentator was correct. You don't know how to practice law coming straight out of law school. For the first three months you will be dead weight. Although, in the past the firm carried you that short time. Hell, they still billed your hours to the client. It's a courtesy extended to new people from those it was extended to in the past.


As far as the 25K, you might as well go work in a restaurant or retail.

Anonymous said...

Oh Lawd, sweet Jesus 12:03 is right - I wish granddaddy Kunta was alive to see this - now even the white man is enslaved!! O Lawd, o lawd, where is my salts...what is the world coming to????

Anonymous said...

Glory Glory Hallelujah!!
Glory Glory Hallelujah!!
Glory Glory Hallelujah!!
Glory Glory Hallelujah!!
Glory Glory Hallelujah!!

Anonymous said...

Just learned today that a guy I was on a project with committed suicide last week:(

Anonymous said...

Also, you have to answer to the name "Toby" if you take that Craigslist job.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByhFz5e5Tno

beerguzzlingtemp said...

The experience he offers is worthless. The next small office to hire the trainee isn't going to pay more either. How lucrative can this prick's practice be if he is unwilling to pay? I can't feed myself on his salary.

Anonymous said...

At least an indentured servant can work off their debt. This clown probably has a string of freebie works that magically disappear before it turns into a paying job.

What a farce. Even at $25,000 it's so low that that you will still be treated like a slave.

Anonymous said...

This slave driving a-hole uses a string of unpaid "interns" to do his shit work.

Anonymous said...

Dutch "Non admitted attorneys welcome to apply. "


Yep, that sounds like "Yorkson".

Bringing in Nigerians and low-wage nonlawyers with foreign language skills in Urdu and Korean is Yorkson's specialty!



Day-O...........tally me banana/Daylight come and me wanna go home.

Anonymous said...

Yes in small law firms women are basically the solo partner's free noogie.

The first thing they look at when hiring is your rack size.

But the Gloria Allreds running the New York bar think the legal "profession" is where standards are set. Maybe standards for getting skank.

Anonymous said...

"If you speak Dutch, get ready to be treated like butter by Ms. Kim. When she's done with you, she will cast you aside like yesterday's piece of trash. Sara Kim is a phony!"



She's a lying bitch!



If you don't accept their low rates this little fucky/sucky won't even answer you.


Hello, Sara! This isn't a Suzie Wong job.

Anonymous said...

mum mum mum mah p-p-poker face

Anonymous said...

Just before the three months are up this asshole wiil fire you and then get another "intern" for another three months.

Hey, anyone can hire an "intern". I sit at home in my underwear all day cruising the Internet. I can call it a "research firm" and put out an ad for an intern as well. Doesn't mean I'll get any - or anyone will stay after they see my ramshackle abode. I see hundredes of "intern" ads. No one falls for this shit anymore. Do your own shit, man, I don't roll out of bed for less than $50K. Eat my shit,....

Anonymous said...

Because of the stupid feudalistic structure of law firms secretaries (especially for the partners) think they are higher than the associates. Especially if they are servicing their boss on the side or a nasty New York old bitch.

In law everything is about image. It's a completelyhh feudal world. Money is secondary.

Even the Nigerians, the shit of the profession globally, are obsessed with their silly appearance and degrees.

It doesn't matter that Africa is a dirty stinkhole.

Anonymous said...

Nigerians available more than happy to work at your prestigious office for $5 per hour. Will wear fancy clothes and neck tie. No bad attitude like whitey.

Anonymous said...

I am going to run a "law office" out of my apartment. I will require an "intern" to cook for me and do my laundry. I will give them some made up cut-and-paste bullshit on the side to keep them quiet. When they catch on to the scheme, they will be fired and quit and I will hire another intern. Thanks ABA, for all of this free and desperate!

Anonymous said...

Remember that Seinfeld episode when Kramer invents a company and hires an intern to do his personal errands!! That what most of these craigslist internships are!!

Anonymous said...

Glad I don't have all that nasty law school debt from a third tier school...I make close to 100k, great benefits & have my own office as a paralegal!!! Lol the jokes on you motha fuka!

Anonymous said...

Sure you do...shut the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

12:26 PM does it hurt that you're a sad, unemployed doc reviewer? 12:26 PM does it hurt that you're a sad, unemployed doc reviewer? 12:26 PM does it hurt that you're a sad, unemployed doc reviewer? 12:26 PM does it hurt that you're a sad, unemployed doc reviewer? 12:26 PM does it hurt that you're a sad, unemployed doc reviewer? 12:26 PM does it hurt that you're a sad, unemployed doc reviewer?

Anonymous said...

WHO CARES ABOUT TWO-BIT PARALEGALS????

MOST OF THEM ARE GHETTO!!

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone, I am a solo attorney seeking an intern:

1. Photocopy
2. File
3. Run errands including for the wife
4. Keep me company
5. Provide laughs
6. Listen to my personal problems
7. Take phone calls
8. Accompany me to seminars, where if you are a cute girl, I may introduce you as my girlfriend

Benefits. You can work in your underwear, like I do.

Anonymous said...

12:40 PM I'd take being an employed, paralegal making close to 100k, full benefits & own office over being an unemployed doc reviewer any day, wouldn't you?

Anonymous said...

most jd temps are temps because they went to 3rd tier law schools and no one wants to hire them...im sure they'd love to turn back time and skip law school

Anonymous said...

No wonder Big Mamma is so fuckin dumb.

"A new study finds obese people have 8 percent less brain tissue than normal-weight individuals. Their brains look 16 years older than the brains of lean individuals, researchers said today."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090825/sc_livescience/obesepeoplehaveseverebraindegeneration

Anonymous said...

Down w/ big people & project people! if i see one more obese, stretch mark ridden, busted out skin chica on the 6 train i swear..eat an apple, forgo the Popeyes and get off public assistance you vermin!

Anonymous said...

why are unemployed doc reviewers so socially inept/stupid?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, and who these FAT ladies with rolls and rolls of lard wear tight tight BABY clothes.

If you are fat and GROSS at least wear loose flowing clothes so we don't have to see every ROLL, biaaatch.

I throw up everyday on the subway seeing fat chicas in skintight clothes....and get rid of the clunky cheap jewelry

Anonymous said...

I worked for a solo attorney for two days and then ran off.

He drank my diet coke and roast chicken that I put in the fridge. He also made me feel his arm muscles!!

Then he made me sit next to him and made me type on the computer while he dictated and watched me closely. It was creeeeepy....watch out girls, this is a true story!!

He was pudgy and gross 50 something...

Anonymous said...

2:06 PM..desperate for cash right now, whats the # of the solo practitioner? I have double D's if that helps..we're all getting pimped out one way or another

Anonymous said...

2:06- Same story. I was really burnt out from the nonsense in the temp attorney circuit several years back. I responded to a job ad with a retired solo who said he would "mentor" me. He had me in his dingy basement, typing out his tax return, while he stared at my breasts the entire time. I was so mortified that I went home and cried. Did your guy live on the UWS by any chance? Maybe it is the same guy?

Anonymous said...

Yes, and may I add once these people go solo and have no large firm to watch them even the so-called "elites/pedigreed" start acting weird. I once worked with a solo with a JD from Columbia Univ. [he had previously been an associate at White & Case ]. Despite all this he acted sleazy - called me in to have long chats, asked me to take long car rides with him to go to "seminars" and stay late to keep him company.

Anonymous said...

Many retired solos who came out of biglaw are a mess. They may have a lot of money, but the years of sacrifice have alienated family and destroyed their spirits. I would imagine that many of the old timers are looking for someone younger to keep them company rather than an associate. I guess they could hire an escort, but unemployed JD's with a ton of debt are cheaper and more desperate.

Anonymous said...

It's especially the old guys...that do this. The other unemployed day I was sitting on a park bench and this old retired lawyer in a suit came by, introduced himself and just straight out with no further talk asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with him. I was shocked and I asked him what exactly about me makes you think I would go to lunch with you??? Or any OLD GEEZER for that matter. He got really upset and said "not even a dog would go out with you" so I said good, then Mr. Dog, don't ask me out!!! They are all the same when they are alone....

Anonymous said...

This sick fuck biglaw partner was rumored to have a real life slave in his house. Slave was an illegal alien from Thailand and walked around partner's apartment in a diaper all day. Sick satanic masochists.

Anonymous said...

The solo who ate my roast chicken and drank my diet coke was not on the UWS, but in the Empire State Building.

Watch out!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, but I worked with a fat Filipina paralegal who was quite happy to be "sodomized" or walk in diapers or anything for that matter by any WHITE lawyer. This chubby chimp pranced around flirting every day, pushing her large saggy boobs in every lawyers' face and she told me she wore a thong everyday in case "anything" happened. With a face like kers it wouldn't matter. Some of these "ethnic slaves" are quite happy to do anything freakish...

tales of my days with freaks and solos will continue later today -- I now have to step out to buy some more soda....all this writing and dredging up bad memories has made me thoisty!!

Anonymous said...

2:45 PM you could have gotten a free lunch outta the deal!!! will work for food, times are tough!

Anonymous said...

Where can I meet some of these babes sticking their boobs in your face? Yummy yummy.

Anonymous said...

I'll take the Filipinese woman with the big lactating breasts.
Lunch time!


oh sorry the Bar does not abide discrimination and sex misconduct.

sure all the biglaw partners are found dead with a hooker or underage girls like the two Cravath partners.

such upstanding citizens of the Bar.

Anonymous said...

you should have gone for lunch with the guy you stuck up little bitch.

work, girl!

Anonymous said...

3:12 You are very right. I could have gotten a lot out of old desperate solos. But I have too much pride, plus I grew up in a very conservative home. I wish I didn't. That is why I am unemployed. And bordering on starvation -- although this meagre diet has done wonders for my health and complexion.

Any girl can get something out of them - I just write my stories so girls are aware of what's lurking, go in with eyes wide open and not be caught off-guard. From there on, if you want to stick your double D's in their face and exploit them, I am all for it!! Use these sorry bastards, like they use us.

Anonymous said...

3:53. The dude was hairless and wearing diapers. The stench was overpowering.

Anonymous said...

Oh God, please let me keep my dignity intact and find a decent job before the benefits run out!!

Please no solos, or lonely lawyers, looking to feel me up under the conference table!!

Anonymous said...

I'd do anything for cash these days..sigh the great depression..
Open House For Laborers

We are looking for laborers who are able to work sporadic assignments through out the month. One day one
week and one day another week in Brooklyn, Manhattan, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island. The pay rates will be from $8.00 to $10.00. Please only come to the Open House if you are able to do this! Remember assignments are sporadic through out the Month Only. Bring 2 Forms of
ID and your resume.

Open House is Thurs 8/27/09 between 1pm and 3pm and Fri 8/28/09 1pm to 3pm.
Location - Manpower Inc.
Adresss - 189 Montague Street Suite 908
Brooklyn, NY 11201
Phone - (718)-624-4157
Fax - (718) -624-4287
Email - brooklyn.ny@na.manpower.com



This is a part-time job.
OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
Phone calls about this job are ok.
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Anonymous said...

Hudson is looking for Turkish doc reviewers!!!

Anything but English -- motherfuckers

Kiss my English-speaking ass...

Anonymous said...

Solos are creeps but sleazoids exist everywhere. At one gig as I was busily inputing patent law data into the computer the printer started humming. I pulled out realms and realms of print-outs on young naked swedish porn stars - I looked quickly through the stack and then put it back as though I hadn't seen anything.

A nerdy patent lawyer [this is at a huge patent firm in NYC]nervously came in, asked me if anything was coming out of the printer and ran off with the whole stack ----eeeeeewwwww.....

And all this time he had been

Anonymous said...

bossing me around and acting so uptight and finicky and proper....

Anonymous said...

I am desperate for cash. Please consider buying one of my new t-shirts:

http://www.zazzle.com/
big_mamma_sullivan_cromwell_
litigation_analy_tshirt-235769757380735125

LexCorde said...

Why don't we get together and talk in a physical place in public and share our comments face to face? Is anyone down?

Anonymous said...

NO, and get LOST!!!

beerguzzlingtemp said...

On top of it all, this guy is probably a prick to work for whenand if he finally does pay a salary.

Anonymous said...

NYC shitlaw to $20,000 a year!

Anonymous said...

i have news for you--women with big uns don't jobs either...i am 38DD and attractive with two licenses and haven't had a real law job outside of doc review and working in a firm for free since graduation THREE years ago...i was so hoping for some sexual harassment so i could actually get a paycheck.....

Anonymous said...

Why is the staff level @ S&C so ghetto? its like they're picking cotton all over again

Valvina Scissorhands said...

fuck you motherfucker--who said S&C is ghetto. I'll cut your nuts off with the scissor I used on my ex-boyfriend...watch it scum bag...^%$#@!&*((^%$#@!&*((

Anonymous said...

hey Valvina..Popeyes is right around the corner..grab some chicken & biscuits you should feel better..then go home to flatbush, pathetic, permatemp w/ your dimpled, busted out, stretched skin cellulite...sucio..ship em back all back..too bad we cant hop in a time machine and make sure they never set foot on our shores...ahhhh pearly white aint that nice

Anonymous said...

So nobody knows how to do a good nut kick when some sleazo tries stuff? That's precisely what would happen if someone messed w/me; and that's not even accounting for men I know who'd cut things off or harm you so badly you'd beg for death. As an ex once told me, pretty girls are used to being hassled & most likely have weapons or would know what area to hit to inflict the most permanent damage on you. Oh, and if a woman tells you that her response to domestic violence is "they always go to sleep" you definitely better pick a new victim. Some of us are psychotic w/no qualms about vicious, deadly injury to anyone who thinks sexual harassment is a-okay.

Clint Dunaway said...

This law firm should feel ashamed for even proposing such an offer.