Thursday, July 09, 2009

Bullshit Time



Since exposing them below on your website Axiom Legal Temp Agency has changed its website from the oleaginous "The Road Less Lawyered" to "Lawyers you Like".

Get ready to throw up, here it comes!

"We know it's ironic.... but one of the radical things that can be said about Axiom is that our clients and attorneys like us. Axiom is an entirely new kind of firm rooted in the belief that everyone benefits when given the ability to exercise self-determination. An approach so simple it's reshaping the legal profession and so powerful it just may make lawyers likable again."

Then it has these bullshit profiles of its supposedly happy likable temps:

"My son's a talker. He's a negotiator. He'll make a great lawyer... I'd like to think he gets that from his dad."

Marc Field


So in reaction to being complained about on the Temporary Attorney blog, where they are one of the top temp sweatshops, they now try to show how "likable" they are and how "happy" the miserable wretches who work for them are.

The pretension of this nothing temp agency knows no bounds, to the point if you wonder that they have brainwashed their toady slaves so much or whether they are actually starting to believe their own bullshit.

Axiom has these Update types calling clients day and night slutting around their temp services.

Say thank you to your temp agency Strategic and DeNovo that you don't have to deal with this kind of mind control and self-worship of Axiom's nonqualified lawyer owners!

101 comments:

Anonymous said...

Incredible. At least a law firm does not invade their employees' family life.

Anonymous said...

The tides of darkness are upon us, man's finest hour is long gone..sadness..

highschoolteacher said...

Who cares? If the employer is bad, quit. God Damn, every employer under the sun pulls that stuff. Get used to kissing ass, because if you choose to have a job, you will have to do that. Oh, and sorry I inflated your grades in school.

Anonymous said...

Of course you have to pull the fake happy shit with Strategic and De Novo. All of the agencies are the same. When you deal with these scumsters get ready to be kicked in the groin time and time and you better be prepared to take it with a smile.

Anonymous said...

The more ppl dis the temp agencies here, the more the temp agencies will outsource to India.

Anonymous said...

Who the fuck cares, let me them outsource. Find out those people are morons - even though I am Indian - because nothing beats NYC experience. I don't care what you say. Let them get bit in the ass. It's fad right now -- they'll come right back in a few years.

Anonymous said...

christie Julian at update is a big fat dumb cow!

christi juliens dad said...

christie Julian at update is a

Big fat fatty cow and a dumb cow.

Anonymous said...

What projects are going on in NYC?
agencies, rates , number of people?

It is pathetic no one will provide these details.
would help to know

Swaziland gangsta said...

Nigerian said,
hook
a brother up.

Signed,
boobo hafddede St.gorbbebo debBo
his revered exvellent and exalted ruler elect of akreeembonotown and barrister at laws, llllm,mmbba,JPs,ostop,DSP, PLP, 1st class.

Anonymous said...

I personally take much offense at this mindless cracker rant if Nigeria. We are code workers and can do bettter than white and Jew devils.

Now I also request that you stop.

Lagos Larry said...

I am free man and I code.
you jealous whites can't even afford to clean my colorful suits and ties.
dress professional, code professional.

Better Coder said...

I get along with the Nigerian if he is on the priv team. Otherwise, he is simply a "first-level" to me.

Very Truly Yours,
Better Coder

Most Hated Temp said...

Better Coder,

Please get off the internet station. It is my turn.

MHT

Most Hated Temp said...

I put on some weight and shaved.

Anonymous said...

I am a suicidal temp attorney and although some comedy on this site sucks some of it is quite funny and actually makes we want to live. The Nigerian letters were quite funny - although I do like the Nigerians!
I see Lagos Larry is a new edition and where is Beer Guzzler???

Anonymous said...

Most Hated
Why are you hated so much?

Anonymous said...

p.s I liked your previous picture. It looks more "tempy". Never seen such a fat temp. Not sure you can sit in one of those chairs in the coding room.

Most Hated Temp said...

I don't need to fit because I'm in the kitchen eating your leftovers. Any staff attorneys that pass by will be added to the fantasy file.

That is an old picture with me and muffins. I told you, I shaved.

I'm hated because I took someone's chair when they didn't come in on Sunday to put in 10 hours, and my BO got on the chair, so they couldn't use it. I ratted them out for looking for a job, and they were cut before it became a scene.

Anonymous said...

Most hated temp, im in love with you.

Most Hated Temp said...

Aw, that's great. Next time we work together, you can get me ranges while I shop Land's End at the internet station. Maybe we can sit in adjacent cubicles, horde forks from the 1,400 calorie chicken katsu curry, and pit the Jamaicans against the Nigerians.

- MHT
<3 xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Most hated temp - you're a Goddess and beyond compare, how can I meet you? Just to be near you would be a magical experience..

Most Hated Temp said...

Have you looked at me? You're technically always near me. Your affections give me pause, as I have not felt this desired since my days as an Update Sales Girl. Those were the days, expecting temps to believe that we could support a Manhattan office and a full staff for months on end without landing a single doc review gig, or making a single permanent placement. Those silly temps must think we did it for free. teehee

Well, those days are gone, but you're my new favorites. Let's do the next best thing to deleting status updates from desperate JDs: practice our peripheral vision so we're never caught slacking.

As far as meeting, well, that'd be fine, but I'll have to tidy up and see when I get free time.

Stay strong, my love.

Anonymous said...

Most hated temp - I will try to stay strong as long as I can but please, I implore you and beseech you to make time for me, my soul cannot bear being w/o you for much longer..take care and may the Gods shine favorably upon you..

beerguzzlingtemp said...

Most Hated Temp... There are too many fat broads on these reviews. Women who don't take pride in their appearance.

Most Hated Temp said...

Anon - Love is in the air! It is Christmas in July, and I'm feelin' like showin' some skin! We'll be together soon enough. Truly, your heart is kind. It is like smuggling a bike seat to a project to avoid hemorrhoids, and so too your love cushions the bludgeoning action this life exacts on my pride.

Guzzler - Not everyone can be an Update Queen for life. I did my kegel exercises, I paid my dues, yet once I was cast out of the recruiter game by the new breed, all together uglier, sure, I lost some self esteem, put on a few. So what if I have bed head and haven't held an iron since Bush did 9/11? I'm a woman, and no coder gets near one of me without groveling. So stop looking me in the eye like I'm your GF and get it over already.

Recruiter said...

Most Hated Temp, I would love for you to come down and register with me. I love your smile and a positive attitude, but please, BRUSH YOUR HAIR!!!

Most Hated Temp said...

Yes ma'am! I don't have anything planned for the next 6 months, and I don't forsee anything coming up! I've used Concordance, Summation, Croll, Discovery Radar, Citrix, Introspect, and many more. I've also been on the privilege and QC teams, sometimes both on the same project!

What to wear, what to wear?! Sorry, anon, this means no date for now. Maybe we can get a bite to eat on my 30 minute lunch!

Anonymous said...

Recruiter - how dare you disparage Most Hated Temp's hair..she is a Goddess through and through and I won't allow you to defame her!

Most Hated Temp - It would be an honor to be your cushion..i would soften the blow/take a bullet for you at a moment's notice..take care exalted one..x0x0

Anonymous said...

Most Hated Temp you need not worry about what to wear, just to be in your presence gives me reason to live...when you are ready for our date tell me where you desire to eat...the world is your oyster and you deserve all

Most Hated Temp said...

Aw, that's the sweetest. Finding you is like not getting audited for switching to exempt once (or twice, teehee) on a project.

Be careful with my fragile heart. I've been treated like I was running from the potato famine, what with all these craigslist ads saying "lawyers need not apply." Im crying thinking of it, first floor offices in Queens wanting to thin the heard. Obviously I don't take well to thinning! Boohoohoo!

Anonymous said...

I said this last time, too:

If Axiom wants to pretend they aren't a temp agency and they can get their lawyers substantive work at double what they'd get for doing doc reviews, where's the problem? Except, I guess, that they didn't want you.

Anonymous said...

Most Hated Temp..you're right as always..going exempt is the next best thing...i will treat your fragile heart with care..dont shed a tear my dear i love you whatever shape/size you are..oh heavens ive been neglecting this privilege log because im so enamored by you...

Anonymous said...

Most Hated Temp, Would you be my BFF? The joy of looking at you each day may keep me from the unthinkable.

Suicidal Temp Attorney

Anonymous said...

If Axiom wants to pretend they aren't a temp agency and they can get their lawyers substantive work at double what they'd get for doing doc reviews
___________________________________

Who says they CAN get their lawyers substantive work at double what they'd get for doing doc reviews?

Most Hated Temp said...

STA - If you give me dibs on the easy ranges, you have a deal. We can fill out eachother's car vouchers and decide what takeout we can get for $15.

Anon - Leave me for now. Priv logging is not something everyone can do. You're truly a go getter, I bet the staff attorneys give you all the juicy bits about which temps they bone, and gossip on which associates bet on you to go "temporal" and start ferriting little TP nests in the stalls. What a man!

Anonymous said...

Most Hated Temp - As requested, I will leave you for now...please let me know the earliest I can return.. i grow weak w/o your soft caress..with love & light..

Anonymous said...

It's true. Priv. Logging is not easy. Good luck sweatheart!

And thanks! I would love to fill out the vouchers and decide take-out with you. I reserve those activities only for BFF's and love doing that at the end of the day. That's the bestest part !

You sound like a totally awesome chick!! I have no doubt the seed of life will be planted back in my heart after spending some time with you.

Suicidal

Anonymous said...

Most Hated:
Another reason I think we willbe hit it off as BFF's is because I too am a cutlery horderer and stealer. On my last gig I must have stolen about 30 knives and forks and a several beautiful plates from the conference room that were laid out for partner lunch.
I also like the Divide and Rule policy you advocate at 4:04, pitting the Jamacians against the Nigerians. Let's also pit the blacks against the Hispanics, hooker temps against aging paralegal ladies, short penis staff attorneys against long penis staff attorneys. These divisions work excellent too.

Anonymous said...

Why would any firm give any substantive work to Axiom when they have idle associates sitting around doing nothing?

Anonymous said...

Most Hated Temp reminds me of one of the beasts that used to oversee one of the Simpson gigs.

Why do they choose the most grotesque, fat, and disgusting people to run these types of things?

Anonymous said...

--Why would any firm give any substantive work to Axiom when they have idle associates sitting around doing nothing?--

They wouldn't. But Axiom only places in-house, not at firms.

Most Hated Temp said...

I'm a beast? You're a lazy, good-for-nothing temp! You buy your little Blackberry to fiddle with on the train like you're actually going to a job, a job that provided it for you. You don't track your bathroom breaks, you don't take only your allotted lunch, you text at your cubicle!

I WAS AN UPDATE GIRL, YOU FUCK!

Anonymous said...

Now, with Most Hated Temp posting here, this blog is starting to suck. Her pic is really hideous, and I just can't get into her posts... BORING!

Hot Ivy Temp said...

Shut the fuck up asshole! I for one like Most Hated. Way to Go, girl.

Anonymous said...

Most Hated, look at you, you are fat disgusting pig. You should be thankful for this period of unemployment. You are a heartbeat away from dropping dead of a heart attack. Use this time to exercise and get on Jenny Craig.

Anonymous said...

Wow, the trolls have taken over this site. Too bad.

Anonymous said...

I like this blog and I think it;s funny. The rest of you motherfuckers can kiss my smelly, saggy, broke, loser temp ass.
Thank you.

Most Hated Temp said...

Thanks, Hot Ivy. We broads have to stick together.

To all you haters, keep hating. You don't understand fat acceptance. Oh, and keep your hands off my bagels when Hirecounsel gives us carbs to sedate us on Fridays.

Anonymous said...

"I personally take much offense at this mindless cracker rant if Nigeria. We are code workers and can do bettter than white and Jew devils."

MESSAGE FROM NIGERIAN MULSIMS.

Anonymous said...

"I said this last time, too:

If Axiom wants to pretend they aren't a temp agency and they can get their lawyers substantive work at double what they'd get for doing doc reviews, where's the problem? Except, I guess, that they didn't want you."


Hi, Axiom morning post!

"No agencies trawl this website."
Hi, Axiom!

Anonymous said...

"We are code workers and can do bettter than white and Jew devils."


Really?
Then why are there so many of your shit people temping?
GO BACK TO NIGERIA!

Anonymous said...

Axiom the sleazebags are here saying they can get their temps double the growing rate.
These guys are full of B.S.!
Axiom: can defy all market forces!

Anonymous said...

Many of you would have much better careers if there was Affirmative Action for ugly people.

Anonymous said...

The original post did not say Strategic and DeNovo did not make you act fake.
However Axiom has taken this to a new level.... They want their people to be totally mental slaves to them.
And.... their families to.
They shamelessly exploit the families, kids,and websites of the fired associates who work for them to promote their cool village image.
FUCK AXIOM!

Anonymous said...

To Honorable sir,
Sorry to trouble your time to present you this great oportunity.
Our company, Transational Global Intercontinental Tawana Enterprise Inc., location Brawley Building, TB Drive, Lagos, Nigeria, has received $20,000,000 profits from oil concession in Nigeria and needs a place to send the money. Due to paperwork for our country's strict banking laws, we are willing to pay a comission to use an account in U.S.A. Please sign this letter and email your bank account number. Our correspondent bank is National State Regional Local Development Bank of Africa.
Sincerely,
Prof. Dr. Dr. Tawana James Monroe, DDS, SJD, N.Y. Bar, Ph.D. 1st class honor.

Anonymous said...

"--Why would any firm give any substantive work to Axiom when they have idle associates sitting around doing nothing?--

They wouldn't. But Axiom only places in-house, not at firms."


Hi again, Axiom!!

Axiom places people wherever they can, and does doc review jobs at their Spring Street office.

The only reason why Axiom can get a few jobs is through lobbying done by their shareholder, Greenhill (former pres of MS).

Their own people suck and their Update types give new meaning to the word "bitch".

Anonymous said...

"Most Hated Temp" and "Recruiter" brought to you by your friends at Axiom....distract from the exposure of their fraud.

Anonymous said...

"Except, I guess, that they didn't want you."

Hi,Axiom!

Yes anyone who exposes this fraud is an un-cool person who could not be accepted to the Spring Street loft-pad, man! Looking at Mark Harris and Alex Gittel butta face!

Anonymous said...

"Many of you would have much better careers if there was Affirmative Action for ugly people."

No dummy.
Affirmative action can only be for blacks due to slavery. And Nigerians, although they weren't slaves here who cares.
There need to be Reparations too. Korean Americans should pay this to blacks.
Reparations for low I.Q. and test scores? or for high crime rate?

Anonymous said...

"I also like the Divide and Rule policy you advocate at 4:04, pitting the Jamacians against the Nigerians."

I agree this is wrong.
BOTH NIGERIANS AND JAMAICANS SUCK AND ARE RETARDED!

Anonymous said...

"Now I also request that you stop."

Yes, AFTER YOU NIGERIAN SCUM GO BACK TO NIGERIA!

Otherwise I will defend the country from your criminal people and their crimes.

Anonymous said...

I am Nigerian and could not get the Bloomberg $20 per hour job. Because they need work that you can use. So, better to be at S&C and just code whatever on the screen "be privileged".

Anonymous said...

No one would give Axiom jobs by talking to Mark Harris, who knows less than a Nigerian temp, or Alec Guetel, not even a lawyer. But their owner Bob Greenhill can call in some favors at the various banks in town. The same old-boy network practiced by Davis Polk (Harris' ex-firm he supposedly resented so much).

Most Hated Temp said...

I'm actually a yoga enthusiast, so no health worries here! I'm not part of Axiom. They asked me if I liked Duchamp, to which I replied, "you mean the toilet?" The sniffed loudly, let me out, and I never got the callback.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone have details on the shitbox project Ajilon has in DC? They did not return my calls to get staffed on it but now I hear people are jumping off it fast and I want some satisfaction that it is in fact a shitbox and I did not miss out on any $.

Anonymous said...

christie Julian at update is a,,,
wait for it,,,
a BIG FAt Dumb Cow!

Bitch

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha, no Nigerian can take a jamaican!
that is much laughable. Jamaican makes the best doc reviewers and nigerian are only fit to serve the Jamaican superior.

Irie

Anonymous said...

Shuts the fuck up you dumb bolo. Everybody, even Jews, know Nigerians make better document review attorneys and ares much better degrees and educational program.

Anonymous said...

Greeting and respectful salutations,

I, Hnr. James Madison Bondumddi Choco, minister of international oil and general counsel of 2nd transatlantic pertro am making this correspondence to ask for aid from you my collegues in return for a substantial remuneration to you honorable collegues.
Circumstances prevent my travel to meet in person due to ongoing litigation, but if you provide bank info, name, pin and credit card numbers I
will be able to forward via courier check for 30,000,000.00 Yankee American that will be at your disposal for three months, all that i ask us you provide advance against interest to be earned by these fundings.
thanks you and respectfully
Hnr. Madison, james Choco, SDS, kno, nbmk, jkh, 2nd elect to throne and president of nbba, honors

Anonymous said...

I'd rather listen to Better Coder than this Most Hated Temp troll. Honestly, that is the worst shtick ever posted on this site. It's such shitty shtick that it might as well be considered no shtick at all.

Hot Ivy Temp said...

1:04 said "Many of you would have much better careers if there was Affirmative Action for ugly people."

So true.

However, I do like Most Hated. I like a girl with guts.

Anonymous said...

I agree. There's something about Most Hated that attracts me. I betcha Most Hated could squash one of those saddlebag queens - or even one of those wiry staff attorneys. Maybe that's why I am drawn to her - my enemy's enemy could be my friend.

Anonymous said...

YES JAMAICANS ARE BETTER THAN NIGERIANS, BUT THEY ALSO BITE THE BIG ONE.

Dave Moss said...

"Aw, fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!"

Chief justice Akki Daki Sudoko, lllm, hgfd, odd, barrister at laws.,1st division honors said...

novo, bonobo
nigerian is much better than any Jamaican.!!!!

Anonymous said...

tastee Pusey for fuk and suk today,
45 ave. And 678 street

Anonymous said...

I agree Most Hated Temp and Hot Ivy are stupid and un-funny.

But I now think Better Coder and Recruiter are good. (I hated them before.) Beer drinking also good.

Joey New Jersey is very very unwitty.

Anonymous said...

You're all stupid and unfunny. Go back to MySpace if you want to giggle at each other. Idiots.

Anonymous said...

I like Hot Ivy. At least she's good looking -I'd rather look at her picture than Beer Guzzler or Recruiter.

I like Better Coder too - although I too hated him at first.

Recruiter said...

Hot Ivy may be attractive, but with her hot looks and ivy league law degree, I think her sun glasses may be trying to do more than keep out the sun. Perhaps, they are trying to cover up a negative attitude? As much as her sterling credentials would certainly impress an elite law firm client, I wouldn't take the risk of placing a princess like this on one of my projects.

Anonymous said...

No offense recruiter. You may be right about the sunglasses. But maybe she has reason to be negative. Maybe she has seen a more refined life and is shocked and dismayed by what she sees in the temp world - ghetto staff attorneys, whorish recruiters.

In any case, I don't think a gal like that will stay too long in the temp world. So it probably doesn't matter what you think.

Recruiter said...

All's swell, but I crossed paths with these little missy's all too often in my past. They stroll in an hour late, walk around with an air of arrogance, and display nothing more than a negative attitude. I'll take a Cardozo grad over this prima donna anyday!

Anonymous said...

If these "little missys" were as arrogant and negative as you say I doubt they would have gotten into top schools and top law firms - AND manged to look so hot. While you are still a recruiter = low-level sales girl.

Anonymous said...

Ha, ha -- so true. Even with their arrogance and bad attitudes these ladies are doing much better than recruiter.

Oooooooh, I feel soooooo bad, for Recruiter Girl. She is lashing out in all the pain of her mediocre life....

Hot Ivy Temp said...

Wow, and to think little old me created this furore. Yes, recruiter, please don't get your Walmart knickers in a knot. I know you won't place me. Trust me, I can see right through you. It's not all for "professional" reasons. I remind of the life you will never have -- because you were never disciplined enough to work for it. I was in the law library each weekend you were partying with the Bridge and Tunnel crowd and vomiting all over Webster Hall. I was in the gym each day you were shopping at Strawberry's for a polyester something that would hide your paunch. I don't intend staying in this temp business for too long - and if I do I will work with someone who understands me and not some insecure little salesgirl. So rest in peace and keep having illusions about your mediocre life just because you can bully some poor desperate temps.

Suicidal Temp said...

I wish Recruiter and Hot Ivy would both go down the toilet. I have far bigger concerns. Family to feed, no money, cunty recruiters messing with me. Last thing I need is a whore recruiter and rich bitch taking up space. Get lost bitches!!!

Anonymous said...

Suicidal is right. Both you hookers get out - and let's take this blog back to discussing jobs and pay rates.

Dave Moss said...

"Aw, fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!"

Anonymous said...

Dave Moss looks like a sick donkey.

Anonymous said...

JAMAICAN AND NIGERIAN BOTH SUCK DONKEY DONG.

Anonymous said...

Hi this is Greenie. I need you to throw some work to this shit company we are stuck invested in. Their website says nothing about law just about B.S. lifestyles. Because the founders we bought into are two spoiled twits. So throw them some bones to keep this bullshit op alive.

Suicidal Temp said...

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
Maybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy facin up when your whole world is black

Anonymous said...

Dave Moss mskes some of the most intelligent, perceptive comments on this blog. They do have a certain repetitive quality and lack Recruiter's sense of style, but they are probably just what many anonymous readers think.

Anonymous said...

This blog has really jumped the shark.

Dave Moss said...

"Aw, fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!"

Anonymous said...

DEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRETDEXTERS SECRET

Anonymous said...

and in breaking news...State Farm is really nothing like a good neighbor...

Dave Moss said...

"Aw, fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Fuck you all!"

Anonymous said...

"Find out those people are morons - even though I am Indian - because nothing beats NYC experience."


Yeah it's hard to find great thinkers like the NYC Nigerian boat people.

Anonymous said...

"--Why would any firm give any substantive work to Axiom when they have idle associates sitting around doing nothing?--

They wouldn't. But Axiom only places in-house, not at firms."



"Hi, Axiom!" (again)

Duh. Axiom the whole point is why do you think you can get double rates? You have the same ex-associates as everyone else. Your so-called screening process consists of big tit Update types.

With associates flooding the street, they are also applying for in-house, your belief that you can get double or more than the market shows your false marketing.

Axiom. The Fraud. For you and for me.