Thursday, January 15, 2009

$30,000 A Year Fake Shitlaw Position Flooded With 100 Resumes



A fake Craigslist entry-level attorney job listing has been floating around this week. I never posted it, because I knew it was obviously a flame.


"Associate Attorney (Midtown West)
Reply to: job-991754136@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-13, 5:41PM EST

Fast-paced 20-attorney law firm looking for an eager associate to join our growing practice. We understand that you may be a newly-admitted attorney looking for their first job. We also know that the economy is harsh right now. However, we are willing to give you a chance. Here are the details of this spectacular opportunity:

* Your salary will be $30,000 per year. We understand that this may be on the low end(since you probably are six figures in debt), but we will be able to give you unlimited opportunities for experience and you'll be making six-figures soon enough. On the other hand, we will bill our clients $300 for every hour of your work; at least you will know your work is valued by us in several ways.

* There is no health insurance, but we have an on-site 2nd year medical student who will abide by the upmost professional standards take care of any illnesses or injuries that occur, both on-site and off-site.

* You will be expected to work 12 hour days, six (6) days of week. You will be afforded 1 week of vacation time, and three (3) sick days. Your vacation time is limited to the months of January and February, as we will need you to be in the office while the partners are taking their time off in the summer. The good news is that you will earn vacation and sick pay as soon as you start. The only holidays that the Firm observes are Christmas and Thanksgiving, but you must work a half-day, as we are a busy and important firm who adheres to our clients' needs.

* Your bonus, if earned (by billing 2100 hours per year), will consist of a one-year membership to a "food-of-the-mouth" club of your choice. In 2008, every associate took advantage of this valuable program and has benefited greatly for their hard work and dedication.

Please email resume, cover letter, salary history, law school and college transcripts to the address above. We will also need you to take a drug test. All resumes and credentials will be held in strictest confidence."


Apparently, the prankster came forward today and confessed to Above the Law that he was the one behind the fake ad. What's striking is that the prankster says that he has been overwhelmingly flooded with resumes for the position.

"He received over 100 e-mails in response, some wanting to confirm it was a joke; others saying, "I think this is a joke, but just in case..." and attaching their resumes; as well as 10-15 straight applications, with cover letters and resumes. One resume included a J.D. from UPenn, claims the lister. (He says he deleted e-mails immediately, and did not retain personal information or salary histories.)

Times are bad, my friends. Two of the e-mails came from recruiting agencies: Strategic Legal Solutions (a serious agency) and Park Placements (we've never heard of them, and their website is under construction)."


http://abovethelaw.com/2009/01/funny_craigslist_job_listing_m.php#more

79 comments:

Anonymous said...

I, The John Bungsolaphagus, smell a Scotty Bullock, L4L, SkaddenFarts production. Brilliant! Law students, other legal lemmings considering a "career" as "lawyers"....this should serve as a warning of how utterly pathethic this so-called "profession" really is.

The wise should already be making their way out of law as I write this.

Anonymous said...

Damn, I had the fruit of tje month club made! I'm soooo pissed.

Anonymous said...

"Shitlaw" is dead. Doc Review is dead-end. Leaving the law is the only solution.

Anonymous said...

The guy who made this fake job post is an asshole.

Anonymous said...

I love all of these jerkofss they tell people that have mortgage their futures getting their JD to "just leave the law". How dare you so cavalierly tell people to move after they've invested so much.

Go f*(*(& yourself!

Anonymous said...

Yes, an asshole. Never cool to play around with people, but I am kind of glad he did it. A necessary wake up call.

Anonymous said...

8:01 you are right. These people are shitheads. Leave the law to do what? If it were so easy to leave and earn a living, this site wouldn't exist.

Anonymous said...

what I wonder is that this was posted as a job for a law firm, and strategic tried to get in on it. wonder if that is normal or an indication of desperation on the part of this agency?

Anonymous said...

Agencies are scum. Craig Brown should rot in hell.

Anonymous said...

Hot damn! I got a new hero. I love the guy who did this prank. This made my day. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, listing is not Scott Farts

Anonymous said...

Strategic is doing fine, their Hydrabad (Or whatever the fuck you call it) office is working their 150 Indian lawyers to death on sub-prime document reviews.

Trollop said...

I think the fake posting smacks of a certain temporary attorney and full-time gadfly who has run a blog on the temporary attorney sweatshop conditions.

Anonymous said...

Add KBTF to your list, 30 min. notice that 14 month assignment is over!!!

Anonymous said...

It's a temp eat temp world, except, every temp is out of work or about to be soon.

woof woof!

Anonymous said...

anyone have the 411 on the diamond project staffing in newark? or the peak sidley project?

Anonymous said...

zzzzzzzzz...

Anonymous said...

Peak project is full.

Anonymous said...

did peak sidley restart again?

Anonymous said...

This is a troll attempt, not a flame, newbie.

Anonymous said...

Craig Brown is exactly the type of scum who would be trolling the very bottom of the barrel -- it's his MO. He and Treadwell are the worst bunch of penny pinching money hungry pigs ever to exist.

Anonymous said...

treadwell is a bottom feeder and a revolting animal

Anonymous said...

I saw this on Craig's list.

Admitted attorneys needed for temporary Hindi document review project at a large NYC law firm. Must be fluent in Hindi and English. Project scheduled for an immediate start.

The agencies are trying to outsource english doc. review to India, but paying top dollar for Indians to do doc. review in the New York.

Anonymous said...

No, moron. You are going to be reviewing the work that is being done over in India. That is why you need to speak Hindi.

Anonymous said...

and you need to not shower and eat curry

Anonymous said...

What seems to be going on now, is that the NYC firms are now able hire T1 grads and laid off associates for thier DR gigs. The rest of the first level work is being shipped off to the third world for pennies on the dollar.

So the permatemps that from lower tiered law schools are being absolutely squeezed or if you prefer given the weather, frozen out.

That Hindi job will be farmed out to India for sure. Just wait, they will secretly bid the job out to Pangea3 or another sleazy outsourcing firm and the gig will magically be "postponed" or "settled". Meanhwile there will be fierce clicking away on this project in Mumbai.

This way they can say, "we tried to staff it with Americans but it was just so much more expensive".

Anonymous said...

3:55

I don't think that they're going to translate the English language work to Hindi and then send it to India.


5:45

I have a strong suspicion not that much of the first level work for discovery is being sent to India. Maybe the work in anticipation of litigation is sent to India, but I don't think too many people are stupid enough to do it with actual legal work. More likely, the economy has decreased the demand for legal work and the temps are the first to go. It happens in other fields as well. Temps are the easiest to get rid of and the least trained, so they're fired and the work goes to permenant employees. Also, no one is going to send complex M&A and confidential financial matters to India. There are restrictions on what can be exported, safe harbor has to be complied with, etc.

Anonymous said...

No one is talking about complex matters. We are discussing doc review and e-discovery work. This work has been exported on a massive scale.

If you want to talk about substantive work and associates, go over to ATL. We do the bottom feeding doc review and other e-discovery work that you people hate.

I couldn't care less of they took your M&A or other substantive work to India. In fact, it would serve you and your ilk right.

Anonymous said...

The biggest factor here is still the shitty economy.

I was told by an agency today that the firm is only taking T14 grads for an upcoming doc review, so some of this shit holds true about BigLaw types now doing doc review.

But when the economy improves the T14 grads will run away from doc review and find BigLaw jobs, and the laid off associates will go back to BigLaw.

The permatemps will end up competing with the Indians. I think the permatemps will win after the smoke clears.

And there's no fucking way DOJ investigation doc reviews are heading to India, maybe some litigation, but not that stuff.

For the present time being:

T14 and BigLaw types have it made. The firms will have them do what little doc review there is.

The coders with lots of experience will get some scraps.

The foreign language people are immune to the above, but because of the worldwide economy, there are fewer foreign language gigs.

People with no doc review experience: you're fucked, don't bother submitting for doc review until the economy improves.

Minority coders: don't bother for now.

Anonymous said...

If a little girl was running a lemonade stand, Craig Brown would stick his neck in and try to get a piece of the profits. Fuckin' good for nothing bottom feeder.

Anonymous said...

10:04 If you don't mind and since it is Anonymous, which agency told you that they are are only taking T14 grads right now for an upcoming document review project? I encountered the same thing with actually two agencies here in NY.

Anonymous said...

We're talking about a lot of agencies. They are using T1 grads 'cuz they can and thus will maintain a decent rate. The days of T3 or even T2 filling up doc reviews are over, for now.

So take whatever scraps for now and hold on tight.

Anonymous said...

What upcoming doc reviews? Are you saying that there's lots of projects being staffed and they are going to T1 grads? Are you sure this isn't something that the agencies have started saying instead of admitting that, right now, they have nothing?

Anonymous said...

I thought everyone would like to see the actual response letter from Craig Brown at Strategic.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/994219762.html

Anonymous said...

It was Update that told me. And yes there are a lot of reviews going on, and being filled exclusively by T14 grads.

I have yet to encounter a project that has not also required an interview.

I have about a year of solid doc review experience with the major agencies and have been passed over 9 times in January alone.

I wonder if they will "hide" their doc review experience on their resumes when they crawl back to BigLaw?

Anonymous said...

I can tell you there IS NOT A LOT of doc review projects going on in NY or in DC the two top markets. There are some scattered short term reviews but the work is slow for every legal staffing firm. You will see some close their doors in the next 8-16 months.

Anonymous said...

It does seem unlikely that there could be a lot of doc review projects going on without that being widely known by the regular clickers.

Anonymous said...

I would bet the volume is low, but the permatemps aren't getting called for these gigs. Many of the projects are undavertised, so difficult to know how many are ongoing.

Anonymous said...

That sound a whole lot more likely, 11:20.

Anonymous said...

As it is really freaking cold, what would prevent setting up a job-action picket, where all ttt's in attendance wore ski-masks to avoid blackballing? Might be interesting....

Anonymous said...

ummm, the fact that it is sheer stupidity would probably prevent most temps from taking part in such an action.

Anonymous said...

Hey Guys, any information yet on who is staffing the new CL Doc Rev gig posted today at 11:07? Looks like a great opportunity at $40+OT with lots of hours.

Anonymous said...

Funny ad, but the grammatical errors and smug self-congratulation should have exposed it as a fake from the jump.

Strategic Must Die said...

Here's Craig Brown's response, so you don't have to take the time to copy and paste the URL:

500 FIFTH AVENUE
NEW YORK, NY 10110
212-944-9112
To: Hiring Partner or Hiring Executive
From: Craig S. Brown, Esq., Co-President
Re: Filling Your Legal Position AT NO FEE
Date: January 15, 2009

Dear Sir or Madam:

As an attorney myself (former Kaye Scholer associate and McLaughlin & Stern partner), I know how hard and time-consuming it is to hire a quality, eager and personable attorney, paralegal or other legal employee (secretary, receptionist, file clerk, proofreader, record clerk, etc.). My company, Strategic Legal Solutions, one of the pioneers in the legal placement industry, can help you in two ways:

First, we can fill your advertised position for NO RECRUITER’S FEE WHATSOEVER. Specifically, we will submit candidates to you who meet your job requirements PRECISELY. If you interview and hire one of our candidates, he or she remains on our payroll for a short period. During this time, you simply pay us the EXACT SAME AMOUNT you would have incurred had you hired the legal professional directly. We pay the candidate slightly less, which is how we are compensated for our services. After several months, you can add the professional to your own payroll and NOT PAY US ANY MORE. The net result is that you have hired an attorney, paralegal or other legal employee through our services without paying ANY recruiter’s or headhunter’s fee.

Prospective clients often call and ask me for the “catch.” There is none. Your obligation simply is to pay us during the short period that our employee works on our payroll -- and only if you approve the quality and quantity of the work. Moreover, there is no guaranteed or minimal period that a professional must work. In the rare event that our candidate ceases to work for you before being added to your own payroll, you only pay us for approved hours worked, nothing more.

Second, we can place a temporary attorney, paralegal or other legal employee with you for the interim period, i.e., until such time that you locate, screen and hire your PERFECT candidate. Because it can take several months to hire the right candidate, employers often rush the process along because they need help NOW. By bringing a qualified professional on board immediately, you can continue to meet your clients’ demands while taking the time necessary to hire the ideal candidate. Our pre-screened temporary candidates are the crème de la crème. Our attorney candidates, for example, include former associates and partners of major firms, boutiques and prominent small firms. These attorneys are available in every single practice area, from antitrust … to corporate … to litigation … to personal injury … to real estate ... to zoning (and everything in between -- see attached sample resumes).

Please do call me directly (212-944-9112) to discuss our services. You can also e-mail me at cbrown@strategiclegal.com.*

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Very truly yours,

Craig S. Brown, Esq.
Co-President

Anonymous said...

Criag Brown, Shawn Treadwell, and the rest of these scumbag legal "recruiters" would have been slave traders back in the 1700s. Interesting, because Treadwell is black....

Anonymous said...

1:43 - Back in the slave trade, a lot of blacks helped load the ships, just as a lot of jews helped the Nazis run the ghettos. What's your point?

Anonymous said...

The Jews who helped Nazis run the ghettos did so only in an attempt to avoid the deaths of themselves and their families. Can we get back on topic? Do you think that CL ad today was for real?

Anonymous said...

Yep 1:43, opportunists come in all colors, ethnic backgrounds and religions. That's because people are people, regardless of their skin color, religion or ethnic background. Let's not go off on some useless tangent.

Anonymous said...

10:20

The first rule of temping is: Don't believe anything a sales girl at update tells you.

What are they going to say to you? "We only have a few projects right now and are losing money. We might go bankrupt, so you might want to register with all the other agencies, open a solo (at the cost of about 2K), or find a permenant job." Not likely. Back when they had more projects, they used to tell everyone that called that they didn't have projects.

T14 (and T30s from NYC schools) aren't doing doc. reviews unless they're solos or need capital for a buisness. When they get fired at a big firm they move to a mid-size firm or do substantive temp, etc. If they're interested in finding a job, they get one.

There aren't a lot of "secret" projects. You're paranoid. Sure, they're not advertising every project. Why would they? If they can fill it with permatemps (who have just completed a project), they will.

8:13

Doc. review for M&A is complex. HIPPA and EAR have to be complied with. If the company has a branch in Europe, safe harbors also needs to be complied with. Any large scale litigation will also run into these problems.


Anyway, the market is getting a little better. At least there are postings.

Anonymous said...

Right, I figure even projects I don't get are good for me because they eliminate some of the competition.

Anonymous said...

We need a lot more projects to absorb all of that competition!

Anonymous said...

Too true, 4:05.

Anonymous said...

2:37 & 3:03, don't let the Holocaust industry or ADL hear you say that....

Anonymous said...

11:22 now that you have spewed your hate and ignorance, you probably feel better, so maybe we can get back to discussing doc review.

Anonymous said...

Right, let's stick to a subject near and dear to us - like whether there is any work for us. Has anyone had any luck with that CL post from Saturday? Any 411 on that?

Anonymous said...

I haven't gotten any response on the CL post. No idea who is staffing it. It doesn't seem to have been posted anywhere else.

Anonymous said...

3:12 is right. The permatemp world would know if there were lots of projects going on.

Anonymous said...

Don't respond to blind Craigslist ads for document review work. They are scams.

Anonymous said...

If Strategic replied to the fake ad in the original post, they don't think all blind Craigslist ads are scams. Why would they respond?

Anonymous said...

I feel MUCH better, 11:53, after spewing THE TRUTH. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

11:53, you're a paranoid, reactionary, moronic idiot. I didn't read any "hate" in 11:22's post, nor any "ignorance." However, I did read into your post that you've been brainwashed. Jerk.

Anonymous said...

10:56 and 11, I assume that you're the same anti-semitic moron. Some people actually come here to discuss doc review. We have a crisis to deal with and are trying to communicate about it.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone gotten a job or even a response from a blind CL ad for doc review?

Anonymous said...

Is the Peak Sidwell project restarting?

Anonymous said...

I think Peak is starting something small this week.

Anonymous said...

No work on the CL gig, but it's the weekend. Expect calls maybe tonight, but probably tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

11:27,
Peak is an incompetent, phony agency.
They aren't starting anything.

Anonymous said...

Anyone thinking that Peak is a competent agency should think again. Peak said I had horrible references and then, when I threatened to sue, admitted that they had mixed my references up with another applicant who had horrible references.
Here's what Kathy Fournaris, in an email, wrote to me:

"I apologize for the miscommunication. I have gotten your reference check mixed up with another applicant. I did not check the references because I only check references if you are about to be hired by one of our clients. You have a solid resume and I will keep you in mind if any opportunities arise. Again I apologize for the mix-up."

Avoid Peak Legal.

Anonymous said...

11:14, I assume you;re the same moron who's been brainwashed by the ADL.

Anonymous said...

12;24, you anti-Semitic imbecile, this is a blog about doc review. Apparently you are too much of a mental case to get that. The permatemp world is in freefall. We have bills to pay. That's what we are here to discuss.

Anonymous said...

How are we supposed to just leave the law? There aren't any jobs for anyone who doesn't have connections, lawyer or not.

Anonymous said...

Law school is a bad joke. Where can I go to get my credit rating back?

Anonymous said...

Fake CL ads are all there are anymore. Even the few agency ads lately seem fake.

Anonymous said...

DEFAULTER said...
My solution is going to be to stop paying the student loans.

Can my life get any worse in the financial area than it is now? As it stands, my standard of living sucks because I have to shell out the $1,000 a month for student loan repayment, on top of the expenses of living in the NYC Metro area, where my family is located.

When I default, I know they'll start harassing me. But let them harass me. Let them call me as many times as they want. Let them send me threatening letters. You can't draw blood from a stone. I'm unemployed. There are very few temp jobs out there right now and I'm not getting selected for any of them, although I try.

Since I went to a toilet school and 'only' managed to finish in the top 25% of the class, my permanent legal employment options are limited, if not totally nonexistent. Why should I continue paying for something I'm not being permitted to use? That I'm not getting value for?

Forebearance or deferrment are not practical options, either. By the time they're over, I'll be in even more debt than before, thanks to compounding interest with no payments being made during the forebearance/deferrment period. And the lenders make even more money on my already-breaking back.

Anonymous said...

I'm a grad of a top law school and am doing contract work. I refuse to live this way the rest of my life so I'm in school to get into a real SKILLED career (won't mention what it is to give anyone ideas and flood the market LOL) where there are lots of jobs. Sure, it's more "lowly" than being an ATTORNEY (gasp!) but at least I will have a secure job with benefits when I'm done in a year. I suggest everyone else here exit this shitty so-called profession as well.

Anonymous said...

let me guess, nurse? enjoy wiping shit off the butts of old people.

Rachel said...

Wonder what people gain by doing such things

Monica F. said...

Here's what's really funny: I am not an attorney, but am a legal secretary, and By God, if this doesn't sound exactly like where I work in SF Bay Area! San Mateo, to be exact. NO health insurance, though I've worked there 3 years and my boss makes $375/hour; 5 vacation days, 5 sick days (accrual of course) AND...you'll love this: I cannot even take my vacation days, because the office is closed for Christmas week, so if I don't use my vacation time, I am out of money, cuz of course, this time off isn't paid! Oh, and I cannot use my sick time for it either....has to be "vacation" time. This should be illegal. I am sure it's not, cuz, after all, he (the attorney) has made sure it's legal, just true to form for scumbag shithead attorneys. No wonder everyone hates these people. I swear, if I could work two jobs and make as much (and I don't consider $35k after taxes that much), I would. I've even thought about asking my mom to help me...make up the difference if I work full time, 6 days a week, at Costco or Safeway or somewhere that has benefits and NOT WORK FOR ASSHOLE ATTORNEYS, I would. But I cannot do that to her. Anyway, it makes me so very happy to see all these young hotshot attorneys become disillusioned. She's had 2 "associate attorneys" since I've worked there and to watch them burn out, day by day, almost makes it worthwhile. What sort of decent human actually wants to be of this profession?

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