Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Humpty Dumpty



Tom the Temp,

I'm set to work for the {removed}; no telling how long that might take. In the interim, I'd like to move to NYC and do some temp legal work. I know it's a grind and all, but I really just want to live in the city for a bit before {removed} and just need enough money to pay a (cheap-as-I-can-find) rent and to make my monthly law school loan payments. My question is this: can I count on being able to find fairly consistent temp work? Is it hard to get, or is there plenty to go around?
Any information or guidance you could lend would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,"


"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall."


That's the name of the game. They want you to come in, climb up on your stool for 80 hours a week, and keep your mouth shut. When you do eventually crack due to the enormous psychological strain of never-ending tedium, or fall off your stool due to a clicking seizure, or sudden cardiac arrest, they will merely sweep you aside and try to find another warm body to fill your seat. Consequentially, yes, Humpty Dumpties with a license and a pulse are always in demand.

Like I have mentioned numerous times before, when interviewing for one of these positions, never claim that you in anyway have any outside goals or ambitions. If I were you, I wouldn't mention the fact that I had an upcoming job opportunity, nor would I mention the fact that I enjoyed traveling. I would merely point out that I was burdened by massive student loans. Nothing will get you hired faster than the scent of financial duress. Oh, and for the love of a God, if you are a solo, NEVER EVER mention the fact that you practice on the side.

Good luck!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB121936262421062033-lMyQjAxMDI4MTI5NjMyNjYyWj.html - have you seen this article yet?

Anonymous said...

More of the same recycled drivel.

Guess TTT can't come up with any new topics.

Same shit, year 3.

Anita said...

Great Adventure. New York is a wonderful place to visit. I suggest you bum around the city for while waiting for your regular job to start .

And if you do find yourself sitting next to any of these temp pansies, kick them in the balls if they have any!!!

Luong Dong said...

I rike hrumpty drumpty slutty temp. Every project, slutty temp can't get enough of my JD. Slutty temp rike my grasses. Only bad character wear sungrasses in elevator before to go outside. Slutty temp work hard and get no respect, so easy to get to suck.

Anonymous said...

There are jobs. You'll have to live in NJ or a borough unless you find an apartment share on Craigslist that is liveable. Its a good experience. Like any job, temping is unpredictable because you never know where the landmines are. It can be an adventure for you. Everything is here. Most of the rest of the country is boring. Definately try it but don't get stuck in this forever.

Anonymous said...

When's the strike?

Anonymous said...

Strike is at your mom's house.

Anonymous said...

The strike is going to be great!

We'll finally get to unionize and our hourly rates will start to go up!

And Tom will have more things to talk about!

The world will finally know temps RULE!!

Anonymous said...

Humpty Dumpty sat in the chair
Humpty Dumpty had no hair
There he sat clicking away
trying to earn his meager pay
Until his hand fell off
and his eyes glazed over
and he got laid off, without benefits

Anonymous said...

fuk u and don't move here alreadybenough fukin new lawyers here clogging the pores of our careers and just being a pimple on my ass

Anonymous said...

Humpty- try your best to find an experienced Attorney that is willing to be your "mentor" during school...thats what I did and it helped me get a great job out of college. Now I own my own Denver Law Firm and couldn't be happier. Hang in there and enjoy NYC!

Anonymous said...

Hey 4:24, nice ethical violation there buddy. You can't say your the "best" law firm in Denver because it can't be substantiated. Read your State Ethics Rules shithead, before bar counsel finds your website.

Anonymous said...

Question: if they can outsource US contract attorney work to India, can American lawyers go there and work for a few months? Maybe better yet, do they hire American contract attorneys in cities like London, Hong Kong, Sydney, etc.?

Assuming arguendo, in this "globalized" world, that English-speaking law school graduates are geographically-fungible, and it doesn't matter what country we live in, studied in, or have citizenship in, then theoretically, the travel possibilities are endless, in what might otherwise be a mind-numbingly tedious job.

There should be a service to "match" CAs worldwide with jobs in foreign cities, and arrange for them to trade work locations and stay in each others' houses/apartments!

Anonymous said...

Question: if they can outsource US contract attorney work to India, can American lawyers go there and work for a few months? Maybe better yet, do they hire American contract attorneys in cities like London, Hong Kong, Sidney, etc.?

Assuming arguendo, in this "globalized" world, that English-speaking law school graduates are geographically-fungible, and it doesn't matter what country we live in, studied in, or have citizenship in, then theoretically, the travel possibilities are endless, in what might otherwise be a mind-numbingly tedious job.

There should be a service to "match" CAs worldwide with jobs in foreign cities, and arrange for them to trade work locations and stay in each others' houses/apartments!

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