Saturday, January 19, 2008
The Hudson Legal "Newark" Project : Meet the Cast
"The cast walk on stage one at a time, like a scene from a Thornton Wilder play.
First you have David, the anal retentive, "tries to be funny" ex-airline pilot, who actually thinks this bullshit doc. review is just as important as battling a wing fire at 30,000 feet. I'd let the guy fly me anywhere.
One wonders how a guy like David who once captained 400 foot wingspans on 747's and flew combat missions or their equivalent(s) could derive any satisfaction whatsoever from wandering around a puppet firm as a boot-licking 3rd class citizen with a Hudson Legal license plate perpetually tied around his neck. You're better than this washed-up billing camp, David. Take back to the the skies. McCarter might pay better, but it's a colossal waste of your talent, and deep down you know damn well that I'm right. Life's short, don't waste it on this Seraquil crap. Not all of us have the balls to fly an airplane. You are better than this and we all f'ing know it. Use it.
The poor guy just seems to be worth much so more than this paper-churning straw-boss bullshit. Interestingly, a couple girls in my room have a huge girl-crush on him. He does wear a necktie every day. After all, we all gotta believe. Take back to the skies, David. I'm sure flying gets dull too, but you esp. are far better than this absurd paper-churning BS.
And then there's Vlad, a fat, jovial, semi-jolly, cigarette smoking sort of chap who counters David's "company man" routine with a nightclub bouncer's menacing, forceful, & vaguely threatening, yet somehow comical, heft. You'll like him.
Like Laurel & Hardy, they balance each other out. While David is the "by the book" "let's keep the client happy" type, Vlad has a refreshing "I don't really give a f++k" mentality, although his vague rebellions are often quickly squelched by David's anal-retentive," by the book geekishness.
Then there's the straw bosses Lisa & Omar.
Omar seems like a happy, accessible, honest down to earth type who (truth be told) would rather be anywhere than this miserable, top-down, authoritative NJ doc review shithole. Omar, if you're reading this, get the hell out! You seem like the type that would do well in any type of business, even sales! C'mon, you hate telling us to fold up our newspapers and get to f'ing work! You'd rather be accomplishing something positive for the world. God knows this bullshit Seraquil lawsuit is certainly not. I could see a guy like you doing well in pharma sales, IP, or even a totally non-legal field, making much better money than the Hudson crap-rate. You're a good guy and worth a lot more than this garbage, man. I'm dead serious.
Lisa can be nice, but she is way too anal about certain commands from above.
Each day they line up in groups of 50 for "intake", looking spiff plus with their Hillfiger ties and Macy's Alfani suits. Little do they know that a document coder can wear overalls with a wifebeater, corncob pipe, and pajamas and encounter no wrath. It's a 40 year wait until social security (and of course no 401k). By that I mean the best salary they'll ever be offered! Let's hear it for Hudson!
Sadly, the gig is like deja vu for us older coders, who've already been chewed up, swallowed, and spit out by the legal system. Yes, there's no meals, no internet, no car service, and certainly no respect for the soon to be infamous Seraquil review. As we speak, legends are being spun. No Internet access, no newspapers, windowless heat chambers, and the ubiquitous "gung ho troops" bullshit that would be expected as fry cooks at a KFC. Each document coder is alloted 32 square inches of personal space. The computers & monitors are rented; the lords of this project are Vlad, David, Omar, Lisa."