Sunday, September 23, 2007

Demented Santa

It was a dangerous summer to be a young attorney in NYC. Not only did we have someone jump off a skyscraper, not only were dozens of people put at risk of being roasted alive at Lexolution's state of the art document review torture chamber, but now it is apparently okay to physically assault your employees in toilet law. For those of you that haven't heard, here is what went down:

"OH, sorry, forgot to explain how this whole thing truly started: The short version is this: So they hired a summer associate and shoved him in my closet, I mean office. The boss abuses me on a regular basis. Obviously, if you put someone in the office w/ me they are going to see this 1st hand. Also, of course, I'm going to talk shit about the boss (who resembles a demented Santa) because of this. The summer associate turned down the "offer" they made him. (It was $45K). He said it was the money. However, the partner thinks it's all my fault.

Then, he was in the midst of berating me for billing 165 hours for the month of July. I was explaining how, if you count in July 4th, a holiday, thus couldn't be billed, and that I took two days off for a family members funeral (true, not a close family member, but still), then I would have been in the 190's. He thought my math was wrong, thus I was dyslexic.

Truth is, he tosses crap around his office so often that occasionally it hits people. This particular time, we were yelling at each other back and forth. He claimed I was a "dyslexic idiot" and said "read this you moron", which is when the book was tossed in my direction, although, maybe in hindsight he didn't mean to hit me in the face, but the fact is he did. Gotta love it......

It's the fact that "professionals", or ANYONE who has a shred of humanity, should not act like that. This is what "law" has become. The Animal (my pet name for the partner), likely thought he could do whatever he wanted since I'd never leave, as there are no jobs out there. After he tossed the book. I yelled at him (can't recall exactly what I said), and walked out."

- "Wally"

What should have "Wally" done?

A) Throw the book back in the partner's face?

"As probably 1/2 dozen other posters mentioned, there was nothing to be gained from "defending" myself. So you people are seriously suggesting that after I got hit in the face w/ the book, I should have walked behind his desk a punched a 60+ year old upside the head?! Yeah, that looks great.

Just like another poster said; After someone called the police, who do you think they would have believed? The guy who looks a little bit like a demented Santa Clause, or the 20-something year old attorney?

This wasn't a street/bar fight. I still believe, if if no one else does; that you should at least attempt to act professional. Just because someone-else doesn't shouldn't push you to act like an animal. You simple stoop to their level. Also, like I said, I was in a bit of shock. Don't you even think of telling me anyone of you people wouldn't have been. Its not every day an old-man busts your nose with a book for not calculating billables using Enron math."

B) Report him to the bar?

"Face it folks, once you have that Esq. placed next to your name and once some prick bastard firm hires you, you have become a N----- who is subject to the fickle beyatch like whims of massa partner(s) and there ain't shit you can do about it.

Suppose Wally would have thrown something back or would have hit the prick. Might have made Wally feel like he grew some balls all of a sudden.. . Might have felt justice and euphoria........BUT, prick boss can do what any white beyatch can do in the street when a black kid steals her purse, point at any black kid walking by and say "that ------ stole my purse" and that kid gets arrested on white chick's word only.

Wally's prick partner boss can call the cops and say, "I was in my office and Wally, my -------, I mean associate, for no good reason, throws a fucking book at me and hits me with it." Cop, will believe the white person, uh I mean partner who is older, is a businessman, who the cop might even know for god's sake!. The ------'s word, uh...I mean Wally's word will count for nothing. Same thing goes for telling the Bar but even worse. Who will they believe? Some entry level ------ like Wally or one of their long time dues paying prick bastard friends who helps them perpetuate the B.S. law setup as it is now? What if his boss actually sits on various bar committees? One of my abusive ex-bosses sat on many state bar commitees, had lunch and dinner and played golf with various court judges."

C) Sue him?

"I'm not going to sue or really do anything. I know, I know, everyone here says I should, but seriously, would you? How would I benefit from it? Would I win/settle for a great deal of $? No. Should any firm hear of this, will they want to hire me, regardless of fault? No. It's nearly impossible do get a decent job as it is; Do I really need the stigma of suing a former boss? No."

D) Seek out Witnesses?

"Someone mentioned something about witnesses above. The guys secretary was in the other room and heard the whole thing. She asked if I was ok, got me a papertowel for my nose and called the other partner to tell her what happened. However, as the previous poster said, she wouldn't put herself in a position to say something against the guy for fear of losing her $35K a year secretary job. Neither would the non-equity partner. These shit-hole ID places are really just solo-practices w/ "non-equity" partners under the head guy."

E) Call him out on a blog?

"Don't do it Wally. If you honestly don't believe there will be a benefit from naming names, don't. First off, ID in NYC is a close-knit group, even though there are 100's (likely thousands) of us, we all talk. The story will get out sooner or later and you don't want to be the guy who started it. I have a sinking feeling I know who your talking about, although maybe I'm wrong. I still think you should keep it to yourself, for no other reason then it sets a bad precedent for sites like these. Anyone remember JDJive? Don't name names unless you have to."

Ultimately, "Wally" did nothing.


Anonymous said...

Name of toilet firm, please!

Anonymous said...

Wise Wally. A good employee shuts the hell up and keeps her head down.

Anonymous said...

Wally should have plummeted that asshole.

Anonymous said...

Wally sounds like a fucking pussy, and so does the guy who wrote that post.

Anonymous said...

i bet it wasn't the first time that pussbag got shat on, and it won't be the last. who gives a crap that he's 60. he obviously needed to see his own blood a long time ago, but didn't.