Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The Awful Truth

"Funny story for y'all, kids. I was in King's Supreme Court the other day on a typical gutter-assed trip n' fall case. The bottom-feeding Insurance Defense lawyer who was my adversary introduced me to his firm's "summer intern." She was a nice looking girl about 24 yrs old, with a smart-tailored blazer and a big legal pad for taking notes, etc. When this combed-over JC Penny wardrobe-wearing loser adversary of mine went to "conference" another case ("conference" in toilet law means getting screamed at for 10 minutes by a law clerk and filling out a toilet stip that you can wipe your butt with), I proceeded to ask the intern where she went to law school, what year she was, etc. Turns out she is at one of the infamous TTT (third tier toilets) on Long Island. Next I asked her grades and the number was not top 10%, nor even close to it.

Then I started in on my tirade about salary etc. I asked her if she knew that most gutter firms are paying 45 K or less with no benefits (including the well-known boiler room she was interning at). I then asked if she had any scholarships/grants and that was a "no" too.

She seemed genuinely hurt, confused, and upset after I got done laying my old big debt, small law blog routine on her. I could tell she really didn't want to believe that 45 K is the best you'll do (if you get a job at all) coming from a TTT diploma mill school. She said she'd heard that starting salaries were going up and up, etc. The poor thing hadn't given future income any thought at all until I laid my spiel on her. Another victim of the "Biglaw raises pay to 160 K" schtick touted by the sub-human scum at the ABA and their enablers like the Valvoline Dean, Pat Hobbs.

It is really sick what these toilet-sucking diploma mills are doing to kids. I told this girl right before her ID law "mentor" came back that she should drop out right now, and not throw good money after bad. I told her that law is a dead-end, miserable job. I told her to take a good look around the courtroom we were in (King's Supreme). I told her to look at the unshaven slobs, blood-shot eyes, JC Penny wardrobe, beer guts, etc. Take a look at these clowns squinting to read the NY Post b/c their gutter firms have no eyeglass/optic plan. Look at the bad teeth from no dental insurance. Imagine riding 2 hours on the train from some aluminum-sided tract house in a ghetto and trying to explain to your children why they have to eat spaghetti and Ramen noodles for supper every nite. Take a good, hard look, because this is your future.

Question is, why can't we get the word on salaries/working conditions out in the mainstream? Why is everyone (esp. TTT law students) so incredoulous that law pays so God-awful poorly nowadays? If you stopped 100 non-lawyers on the street and asked what they thought an entry-level lawyer salary was, what % do you think would pick 45 K? The gutter schools use this naiveity and cultural dissonance to their advantage. I mean, it just doesn't seem (or sound) possible that an admitted lawyer with 7 years of education and a bar exam pass under his/her belt can be worth 12-15K less than a garbage man, does it? I always made a huge point to tell friends, family, and even stragers on the street how gutter-sucking awful lawyer salaries are, but the problem is no one believes it. You might as well tell folks a UFO lands on your roof every nite as you tell them you're a licensed attorney making 45 K.

There is a WSJ reporter working on a toilet law story. I will post his contact info once my interview w/ him is done. Tom the Temp is also speaking with him. Once we get this info published in a respected national newspaper, perhaps other newpapers/magazines etc. will wake up and reaize that law is a dead "career." There is biglaw and there is nothing else. Law is as all or nothing as it gets- if law were the food industry you would have the Four Seasons and McDonald's with nothing in between."

-- Law Is For Losers

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good--it's about time someone told these law students the truth....like L4L, I just wish there was a larger forum to tell potential law students these horrible truths PRIOR to entry.....

Marianna said...

The sub-human scum at the ABA and their enablers at these overpriced TTT diploma mills need to be stopped.

My lying, ghetto tier 2 school actually had the audacity to publish an average starting salary figure of $112,000 in US News. When will these lying scumbags be held accountable for the gross inaccuracies they put out?

Anonymous said...

Is there really a WSJ story? Yes! Please make sure they mention the west coast JD mill too!
Loyola 2L

Marianna said...

I just bumped into this Seton Hall graduate who couldn't afford his $160K loans at 8% interest. In order to keep him out of financial ruin, his parents agreed to put a large chunk of the debt, as a second mortgage, on their house. Would be sad to see that whole family out on the street.

Anonymous said...

Why didn't he just declare bankruptcy Marianna? You better believe I'm taking beginner's and advanced bankruptcy next year. I'm not kidding in any way, I want to plan for disaster.
Loyola 2L

Marianna said...

Not sure. Maybe he was afraid of the very harsh anti-student bankruptcy law. Now his parents are facing the very real possibility that they may lose their house. Sad.

Anonymous said...

Attn: Contract Attorneys responding to Providus' postings. Be sure to bring lip gloss because Regan Potter Bowen, Director of Attorney Placement, loves to have her butt kissed and your lips will become chapped from it. That is the only way she will place you. You may have all the experience in the world, but if she does not "approve" because you do not live up to her bias, you will not get assigned. Also bring nose trimmers because once you meet her, the first thing you will see is inside her cavernous nostrils. I am surprise there is enough oxygen, as high as her nose always is.

Anonymous said...

There is BIGLAW and nothing else?

Well, that settles it once and for all!

Anonymous said...

So, depressing. Happy 4th of July!

pitbull friend said...

Sorry to say this is also true in the Midwest. Why, pray tell, do we have four law schools here in Minnesota, with a population of only 5 million? The fourth one opened about 5 years ago (about 10 years after it became clear that most law school graduates weren't finding jobs) because a snooty local Catholic university decided that none of the others did an adequate job of teaching morality. Some think that they forfeited their claim to morality when they hired William Delahunty, who did his best to help the Justice Department excuse torture at Abu Ghraib & Guantanamo:
http://citypages.com/databank/25/1235/article12354.asp)

Anonymous said...

Hopefully, it will be as successful as Liberty Law School was in bringing morality to the law. Monica Goodling really brought honor and dignity back to the Justice Dept.

Opening another diploma mill in the name of morality. Gotta love America.

Anonymous said...

I think you guys are too pessimistic. Many great jobs are to be had once you get a little experience. A friend and I both had crappy grades at a mediocre school, and we both got crappy jobs after graduation. Now, ten years later, we are both senior associates at very big firms making $200K plus. Just remain confident, don't lose hope, and keep working hard.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Who'd you have to sleep with, backstab or kill to get that job?

Anonymous said...

Law isn't for losers; working for law firms is. I started my own practice and was making 250k within eight years. (That's like $575k in NYC dollars; where I live the cost of living is low.)

Anonymous said...

and a pink angel just flew out of my butt.

Anonymous said...

If she is indeed attractive, she can marry well. In addition, her parents might be helping her. I agree with most of your points, but not all individuals that attend school that aren't in the top-10 should drop agree.

Anonymous said...

Wait till her husband sees the $150 non-dischargeable debt that is attached to her. She will get unattractive pretty fast.

Charles Thomas said...

Heh. I'm a public defender, I never expected to make any money.

Anonymous said...

she went to hofstra, didn't she?

Anonymous said...

i agree about having 150K debt making a girl unattractive-i can picture a lot of guys not getting involved with someone with that debt-she will end up with someone who also is in her situation-

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
and a pink angel just flew out of my butt

Are you so beaten down that 250k/year after 8 years of solo practice is that hard for you to believe?

That's sad. Grow some vertebrae; instead of slaving for some corporation, go find some human beings to help.

Crash Esquire said...

In Florida, there are nine lawschools, 20 pages of LAwyer listings in the local phone book, and 60K active members of the Florida Bar. The Bar's solution to this overpopulation problem? Raise the Bar passage rate; those who can't pass don't count. They have to find some other way to pay their debt off!

Anonymous said...

Going to law school was one of the SMARTEST things I did in my life.

For example temp jobs (travel for 6-9 months and then work) paying 2000-2400 per week. corparate in-house (sitting in an air-con office doing nothing) at $120-200 per year. Firm jobs (sitting in and air-con office but having to work more) from $120-400 per year. Then there's government (to incompetent to keep a temp jobs) or a move to a corporation doing finance or whatever. I don't see how anybody in their right mind can complain.

As far as I can tell, the problem is with all these lawyers concentrating on slip/fall, low-end criminal, etc. Figure out how to get a job in the corporate sector where you'll make some money. The real world isn't like Boston Legal.

Michelle said...

Ha! Good for you for speaking out. I think there's going to be a big shift away from working for a firm for a pittance and more attorneys will switch to contract work.