Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Hey, Hey/Yo, Yo - The Eunuch Has Got To Go!

Someone finally told off the Eunuch!

The Eunuch is a weak bully. The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Good managers manage, bad managers bully. Bullies bully to hide their inadequacy and weakness, and to divert attention away from their incompetence.

Tonight, the Eunuch emerged from his glass-encased cube, as he typically does after Anita leaves for the day, ready to pick a fight. In a condescending tone, he announced to the weary-eyed group (many of whom had been working since 8 a.m.) that we were to stop talking immediately, as it was "only" 7 p.m.

Typically, this is the type of condescending crap that you learn to deal with when you accept one of these gigs. Sometimes, however, a turning point may be reached when the employee finally realizes that they are not dealing with a normal human being like themselves, but with a dysfunctional, disordered individual who feels the need to exploit a fraudulent and broken system. One brave individual realized this and defiantly shouted out the simple word "So," in response to the Eunuch's observation that it was only 7 p.m.

Boy, was the Eunuch pissed. He hammered, stammered, and spun around a few times before demanding to know, "Who said that!" The Eunuch then went on to threaten us, in his always prepubescent voice, by asking us if, "Anyone has a problem with that?"

Yeah, Eunuch. Tom the Temp has a problem with it. He is sick and tired of putting up with your crap -- with your demeaning and domineering management style; with the bitterness that you are causing; with the low morale that you generating throughout the project. I have come to the sudden realization that you have just got to go.

38 comments:

J said...

hit him in the kneecaps and run like hell...okay, not a good idea but he does need to chill and take it down a peg. too bad you guys can 't back near his office; one of the guys i temp with told me how he used to mess with this guy by taking apart his mouse and writing "slacker" on the rolling ball inside of it. then when the guy went to use the mouse, it fell apart and revealed the little message that my coworker had scrawled on it. boy, was he pissed but apparently it was hilarious.

Anonymous said...

leave him alone -
he will self implode soon enough because of the misery he caused to others

Blackstar said...

This is my first time reading your blog and let me start by saying THANK YOU! Everybody immediately thinks being an attorney is a dream job, but nobody knows about the hell of being a contract attorney.

Anonymous said...

i think i'm on your project...i just started last thursday...and i already want to quit!!!

Anonymous said...

Me too!!!! What's up with those owls? Talk about psychological mind-games.

tom the temp

Anonymous said...

why an owl? why not just a beware of the glass sign?

Anonymous said...

yeah...i bet they have hidden cameras behind the owls eyes!!!!

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Anonymous said...

THANK U SO MUCH for this site...i was laughing hysterically at the categories of temps in your past blog...i think i sit next to a a Beaver...i guess i should be careful...

Anonymous said...

yes, be careful. that project is LOADED with moles. i have to be esp. careful. you should see all the "trick" e-mails i have gotten today. Anita is DYING to uncover me.
i wouldn't be surprised if all the new people they bring in next week are all moles.

tom the temp

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Anonymous said...

I heard Anita told someone to sit up straight is this true?

Anonymous said...

What's Anita going to do to Tom the Temp when she finds out about this blog?

Anonymous said...

hang in there tom the temp .. why don't you lateral to a mid size or smaller firm or gov or in house ..

Flea said...

Dearest Mr. Temp,

As a contribution to your invaluable natural history of legal practice, I offer the following observations of a fifth category of legal temp: The Slacker.

A furtive creature, often heard but rarely seen, the slacker is famous for a peculiar tick whereby it raises its head up and down in rapid movements, a defensive mechanism brought on by circling supervisors. Convinced it has as much intelligence to supervise a hundred contract attorneys, incensed that it is instead the supervised, the slacker spends its sunny days counting the smallest number of documents it takes to be considered “productive” without losing what is, at around $2000 a week, neither a particularly challenging, nor particularly underpaid job. The slacker’s roost is marked by quantities of well-thumbed (and non-legal) reading materials which it consults throughout the day. Known for its cheerful and endless song, it often joins with other slackers in choruses of gossip and complaint. When not cowering from dreaded supervisors, slackers can be found pecking away on their own portable electronic devices, text-messaging friends and lovers or surfing the net, anything to while away the hours before their next paycheck.

Your sincerely,
Flea

Anonymous said...

Wait! There is a sixth category: The Sucker! Why would anyone doc review for an in-house CT company that hires their own contract attorneys, only to pay them WAY below industry standard (the standard being $35-40/hr), and put up with a power-hungry obese grayed-out piece of trash wanna-be attorney project manager (Eunuch for sure)? If anyone has worked there as I have, you know the crap that goes on there - a winner of the Legal Sweatshop award! Work in NYC and you're a tad better off.

Loki said...
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Loki said...
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Loki said...
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Anonymous said...

go to a location where your IP address cannot be attributed to you personally, like that huge internet cafe on 42nd street with the orange awning - the one with over a hundred terminals. set up an anonymous e-mail account.

then send the guy an e-mail with a link to this post.

this might increase your chances of being found out, but he'll at least know every last person in that room is laughing at him. he just won't know who. if your project is staffed by over 50 or 100 people, the numbers game is in your favor.

now, they could be really evil and say "unearth yourself, tom the temp, or else we will fire everyone!" since they sound like evil harpies, they might do just that.

i'm secretly hoping that sad excuse of a human being gets run over by a bus. i would wish testicular cancer on him, but he's a eunich and has no testicles.

good luck. i'm on a much more humane project. you should check out strategic workforce solutions. they are upstanding as far as temp agencies go.

EatWhatUKill said...

Beware also the "temp partner"--a particularly disgusting piece of human trash because: 1) its one of us; 2) it is a snitch and sees no problem in ratting out one of us in the misguided belief that it could lead to a lateral move as a staff attorney or even more pathetic a partnership track associate position. This kind of animal will even make shit up. Be very careful cause this beast looks just like u and me.

Anonymous said...

The reason one does not "lateral" from a temp position is because that is not what a lateral is. A "lateral" means going from one partner-track position to another partner-track or counsel position. The sad fact is, I only know of one person who has a shot at converting to an associate, and I mean a long shot.

Did I hear correctly that your assignment is staffed by Update? I know for a fact their base here in DC is 35/hr. I did a gig at 36/hr, and my friend gets 42/hr because he has a certain foreign language. Oh and did I mention we got overtime after 40 hours? If you are not making that money you need to get on a train, brother.

With regard to the Eunuch, check to see if someone among your "mouse army" has a contact with one of their clients, the bigger contact and/or client the better. Imagine if little Janie's dad at the Chemical Company called the managing partner to ask them if it was true that their flunkie wasn't being civil to her.

If not, unless you know all of this is sanctioned by firm management, don't assume it is. The next time someone lands a job, ask them to bring the list of grievances directly to the senior partner on the case on his or her last day.

Anonymous said...

hrm. find out who eunich's boss is. ask a male friend to dial *67 (hides the outgoing phone number) and call eunuch's boss saying that "several temps have complained about his attitude." then ask a female friend to do the same thing. (so he'll know they are different people.) don't have them identify themselves. //that// should get someone's attention.

i know the "honorable" way to go about this is to lift your head high, go straight to the partner and complain, but you don't know who's on your side in templand. it is in your best interest to remain anonymous and to maintain a semblance of group solidarity among the temps.

Anonymous said...

I respectfully dissent. There is no reason for them to listen to anonymous complaints, I wouldn't. Will you, when you run a firm someday? I hope not. Someone who cannot be harmed needs to do it, and in person.

Anonymous said...

at least they will be notified. anyway, the messenger always gets shot. identifying yourself will only get yourself blacklisted in this business. if you cannot find a person who can complain and not be harmed in the process, go the anonymous route. be creative and subversive.

Anonymous said...

strategic is not a pleasure to deal with. not in the least. further, their contract terms are so unconscionable it's really a gas.

Anonymous said...

http://lawschool.westlaw.com/shared/marketInfoDisplay.asp?code=CR&id=24



what a f'in joke


insulting too

Anonymous said...

I'd have to agree that Tom needs to add "temporary partner" or "mole" to the list of those found on temporary projects.

The "temporary partner" is a particularly disgusting specimen.

eyestrain said...

The best was the other day when Anita said that the review was going to double in size and metastisize to another floor. Tell your friends, she said... yeah, right...tell them to turn their backs and run as fast as they can without looking back lest they be turned into a pillar of salt.

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Anonymous said...

I am currently with an Update assignment and am currently happy with it. A 3-month project is now going longer. I decline to say at what firm I am, but I should say I am one of the lucky ones. Yes, Update LIES to you in order to fill the interview spot and ultimately get you on board. Take it with a grain of salt, play the game well and cash in.

ADVICE TO NEWBIES: Don't stay in this temp world too long! You'll become law-office-poison and be named a Gilligan in the profession!

Anonymous said...

"ADVICE TO NEWBIES: Don't stay in this temp world too long! You'll become law-office-poison and be named a Gilligan in the profession!
"

Great advice, thanks! I don't know why I don't take one of my many lucrative full-time offers and stop temping. I have seen the light. You ever thought about being a career advisor?

Anonymous said...

"You ever thought about being a career advisor?"

This will probably be the extent of my career advice here - I'm on my way out of the legal profession altogether in a few months. I've had more than my fill of temping at firms!! But thanks for the compliment :)

Anonymous said...

On your way out, eh? Care to share? I'm always looking for a way out!

Anonymous said...

"Great advice, thanks! I don't know why I don't take one of my many lucrative full-time offers and stop temping. I have seen the light. You ever thought about being a career advisor?"

i think this person was being sarcastic. let me clue you in: if you are temping, you //don't// have many lucrative full-time offers. temping is a last resort for people who need money.