Thursday, February 09, 2006

Big "Owl" Is Watching You

A paranoid work environment is an environment which exhibits a pervasive pattern of distrust and suspiciousness. Namely, an inability to trust, distortion and fabrication, pathological mind-control, and instinctive aggressive counter-attack.

It's 2/2/06. All is quiet on the temp attorney floor. The quiet, humdrum of the constant clicking is the only noise which fills a lifeless room. Gasp! As quickly as lightning shoots across the summer sky, Anita emerges from her glass-encased cubicle. A sudden chill fills the air. Several temps caught off-guard by Anita's sudden emergence scatter to the wind. As we all have become acutely aware of Anita's tendency to feed upon her unsuspecting prey, we all brace.

Anita gazes around the room. Seemingly not in the mood to pick off another temp, Anita, in an apparent fit of boredom, heads off toward the Xerox machine. In stunned silence, we quietly watch as she photocopies and hangs up around the room over a half a dozen owl pictures. "Attention everyone," shouts Anita. "Don't read anything into this. The owls mean nothing. This is just to prevent you all from walking head-first into the glass-encased cubicles." As quickly as she emerged, Anita once again seals herself off within her glass cube.

The temps, meanwhile, stare at each other in stunned disbelief. What can this all mean? Of all things, why a picture of an owl? Why not a "beware of the glass" sign? Could it be that we are all reading too much into this -- maybe we should take Anita's word at face value? Who knows. For the rest of the day, everytime I look up, an owl stares down into my workspace. His eyes, piercing and always watching, brood over a hopeless temp attorney dumping ground.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Owls? How could she be so stupid, or maybe not . . . So what do these owls look like? Are they like the graphic at the top of this blog post, or are they live action owls?

I can't wait for some update-staffer-in-temp's-clothing to comment on here and say they love the owls, and if you don't like Anita's owls, then you're a bad temp. Bring it, ladies!

Anonymous said...

Somebody's Watching Me


I'm just an average guy with an average life
I work from nive to five, hey hell I pay the price
But I want is to be left alone in my average home
But why do I always feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone

CHORUS:
I always feel that somebody's watchin' me
And I have no privacy
I always feel that somebody's watchin' me
Is it just a dream?

When I come home at night
I bolt the door real tight
People call me on the phone I'm trying to avoid
Well, can the people on TV see me or am I just paranoid

CHORUS

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair
I might open my eyes and find someone standing there
People say I'm crazy, just a little touched
But maybe showers remind me of Psycho too much
That's why...

I always feel like somebody's watching me
Who's playing tricks on me
I always feel like somebody's watching me
Tell me it can't be

I don't know anymore
Are the neighbors watching me
Well is the mailman watching me
And I don't feel safe anymore, oh what a mess
I wonder who's watching me now?
Who?
The IRS?

I always feel like somebody's watching me
Who's playing tricks on me
I always feel like somebody's watching me
I can't enjoy my tea!

Rockwell with MJ

Anonymous said...

The cartoon owl posted above wasn't the actual owl. If anyone has a copy of the actual owl, please send it and I will post it.

Tom the Temp

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Anonymous said...

all of these comments are written by bitter temporary attorneysa that for whatever reason didns;t do welland will no longer be called by update. grow up and move on y'all. shit happens but don't make it like you had nothing to do with it.

suzyque said...

You should all get a life.

Anonymous said...

Rejection sucks doesn't it Tom???

Anonymous said...

theres no question that tom is a recruiter. No one would just bash one agency and work for it at the same time. Do you think we are idiots? jibivulivolie

Anonymous said...

This is all so ridiculous. do any of you have a real life?

Anonymous said...

I love how the people who say that we all need to get a life are on here just like the rest of us, posting comments.

Anonymous said...

Do not kid yourself, this is not all written by bitter temp attorneys. Anita is a monster. She blatantly lied to cover her actions. She went into the xerox room for a reason. Do not delude yourself into thinking that her announcement was real. She made such announcements right before she canned someone. And believe me, they got canned.

Anonymous said...

Do not trust Anita!

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Anonymous said...

this is incredible. move over kafka.

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